“Whether you are strengthened by life’s difficulties or broken by them is completely determined by your mindset,” Tom Bilyeu. We’ve had a very challenging year. A long illness, a horrific pregnancy, losing a baby, losing a dog, losing out on houses while trying to find our forever home, challenges with work. It has been hard to not feel broken. I’ve lost my mind repeatedly, feeling like the world was against me. I can’t say that everything has turned around—it hasn’t, and I have no idea where this is going to take me. I’m struggling to find the reason behind it.
I know that I don’t have the choice to break down. But I do have the choice to let go of the broken parts and put them back where they belong—or leave them where they lay as needed. I have a choice to build something completely new. Either way, I am still here. I’m not where I want to be but I still have the opportunity to get there.
My skin still crawls when things go topsy-turvy and I can’t figure out why. I am a person who believes that there is a cause when things go wrong. I want to know what it is. I want to see the purpose behind the pain. I do believe that the lessons repeat until we learn them—but I’d like a different vantage point. Maybe I feel broken because I’ve made it too complicated. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. It’s as simple as that. But my type A mind struggles to accept that.
I’ve tried enough times that I know experientially when I improve the way I think, the things around me improve as well. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but I know it’s true. I also know that keeping positive is a lot of energy because it can feel like we are constantly stopping and starting as we try to make our way. Keeping our spirits up isn’t pretending we don’t feel hurt—it’s acknowledging it and trying again anyway. And repeating until we get it.
I’ve been blessed with a stubborn tenacity that pushes me forward through some really tough things. My lesson is to push harder. I give up quickly at times because I want my efforts to be worth it, and that isn’t the best mindset to have when it comes to building your life. The worth isn’t determined by how quickly things happen, the worth comes from the value we see in it. If I’m just trying to achieve a goal, once it’s done I will need something else to occupy me. Proving how much I can do isn’t enough.
Enjoying life and taking in the experiences we have make us more resilient and helps us navigate the unexpected—and even the expected. I’m learning that life isn’t necessarily personal—it’s purposeful. This means that things don’t happen to us, they happen for us to get us where we need to be to fulfill our purpose. That is all we need to do—be wise enough to recognize our purpose.