“The idea is to die young as late as possible,” via paradise awakening. I’ve become rigid. I came into this world with a level of expectation that has constantly been handed back to me. I have been proven wrong again and again and again and I let it wear me out. I am exhausted. Then I saw the above quote and I realized that I have stuck myself in a box believing I was free, that I was stuck when I had the key the whole time. That was a dangerous thing for me because I developed a low tolerance for change and things that didn’t go my way. I made my way the only way. I wasted time making things exactly how I wanted and demanding the world shaped to my whim.
This isn’t to say that we don’t have a level of control in our lives but we have to recognize when we need to pivot otherwise we can let decades pass and then look back wondering what the hell happened. I also never realized the work required to attain the things I wanted. I never realized how many times I may hear “no” along the journey. How many walls are actually out there. I also didn’t realize that there are walls we can walk around, or step over, or even break through. It’s a matter of deciding how to handle the obstacles in our way.
Being young carries a level of adaptability and a way to pivot as needed that doesn’t come when we stick ourselves in the same spot over and over again. When we root ourselves, there is stability, but we set ourselves up to take life as it comes at us rather than to float with it. We can’t forget that trees also change and grow—and we need to as well.
I’ve been taking walks with my son every night for the last week or so and I see how he enjoys life. Simply being outside and riding his scooter while I walk with him, taking in the nice weather. We don’t need as much as we think we do. We just have to enjoy what we have. He is also taking me on a new journey. He is taking me out of my head and bringing me back to my body. I’m trying to remember what I always have known: there are moments that go so fast and we need to be present to enjoy them.
I’m not a patient person and we are dealing with some challenges finding a house (we’ve put in five offers on different properties and have lost them all) but my son is teaching me how to be patient. As I’m coaching him through understanding we can’t get everything we want right away (he’s obsessed with Lego Mario), I am teaching myself as well. There are a lot of things I want and I need to be an example to my son that things aren’t always the answer. So, as I’m teaching him patience, the lesson is also for me. I’m giving myself the love and coaching I needed as a child. A fine example of the universe sending us the messages we need.
There is so much wisdom in youth that we discount because of lack of experience. We dismiss the simple wisdom in favor of the self-inflicted complication of our reality. If we learn to remember what we were born with, with what we inherently know, then we retain the qualities we need in life. There is joy everywhere, not everything needs to be complicated, sometimes we just need to play, we need to love quickly and accept people as they are, sometimes we need a really good hug, sometimes we have to try over and over again, and sometimes we need to take things slower than we would like—but we will always get there. If we do all of that, we can’t go wrong. Stay young.