“The most powerful thing you can be right now is patient while things are unfolding,” via Be spiritual. Patience is my biggest struggle by far. I’m constantly looking for the next thing rather than simply being present where I’m at. It’s a combination of being Type A, high anxiety, high energy, a lot of creative energy, and mis-channeled habits. As we get older we see how much grey is in the world. The drive I had as a child and into early adulthood was all about getting things done, finishing the things I was supposed to be doing. I had very little follow through on the things I wanted to be doing because I assumed once I did what I needed to do I would have time to do what I wanted to do.
They never tell you that there will ALWAYS be something else that “needs” to be done so we have to make the time for what we want to do. At least, I was never taught that. I was also never taught that the experience is sometimes more valuable than the goal and I still struggle with that today. I always thought the point was to get to the end and I’ve lived my life like that for a long time. But if that is ultimately the goal, then the end is death. I know for certain there is more in between the beginning and the end than finishing a series of arbitrary goals that are not our own.
I’ve looked at patience as a concept but never really put it into practice. I thought that was for other people who had time to mess around or who didn’t have “serious” goals. I also looked at it as something for people who had more time than me. I see now how ridiculous that is because we never know how much time we really have, regardless. I also misconstrued patience as a sort of punishment. That you would have to endure all of these trials in order to get the prize when you were deemed worthy.
Patience is really the acceptance of the universe in its divine order and learning your place in it. It’s learning to accept who we are in all forms and all parts of ourselves. It’s feeling the difficult emotions and not shying away from them. Patience is the ultimate surrender and trust. Knowing we made the best choices we could at the time with what we had. And patience is being open to our humanity.
I’m learning to integrate this new definition of patience. It’s easier to swallow than my previous beliefs. I know I won’t get it perfect, but I see the value and the necessity in slowing down. We have to let our minds and bodies align in order to apply this type of practice. And I like how that feels. So let go of what needs to be done tomorrow and address what needs to be done now and the rest will fall into place.