Light and Dark

Photo by Rafael Gonzales on

I gave meditation a shot this morning and I had a few a-ha moments. 

First I realized how rigid I’ve become.  I’m so unbelievably stiff from sitting at work, from my commute, and then from sitting at home while I’m working on my projects that my body has become inflexible.  This isn’t unlike my mind.  I’ve become so engrained in my routine and thinking about what I want to do that I’ve become rigid in what I’m seeing around me and how it needs to be done. 

Believe me I’m all about flexibility.  I know how valuable being pliable is in this ever-changing world.  Yet, I’m stuck in my own routine.  When we feel like we have to do things a certain way we lose the ability to see other opportunities, other ways that get us there.  More importantly, other ways to view my experiences and to question the validity and necessity of my routine. 

Secondly, as I moved my legs into butterfly position, it hurt the closer I brought my feet to my body.  Yes, this is right up there with my first point about my physical need to move, but another pattern revealed itself:  the closer I get to the root of the issue, the more painful it is, and this is when I want to give up and turn away.

How often are we directly faced with what we need to address?  How often do we handle it?  The deeper I dive into the core of the issue, the more I see I need to forgive, the more I need to accept and move on, I feel myself pushing away.  I still feel that impulse to turn away and pretend it doesn’t exist. 

Sometimes it feels too bright and I can’t face it.  These are feelings of unworthy.  Isn’t that true for all of us?  We know that we have this purpose inside of us but we don’t feel it is ours to claim, like it can’t really be meant for us.  Other times I turn away because I’m ashamed of what I see.  These feelings exist in all of us, often at the same time.  Our worth doesn’t change based on the things we’ve had to do to learn what we are meant for.  Sometimes going through the muck of our life lessons brings us to that potential. 

Perhaps with flexibility we can view our potential without fear and we can accept the things we are ashamed of without judgement.  Maybe it is that simple.  Don’t run away from any of it, the good or the bad.                 

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