Reach Out

hands in front of white and black background

Photo by Matheus Viana on Pexels.com

I’ve had some intense feelings of separation lately.  Separation from myself and others.  I’ve struggled to stay in alignment with who I am.  Today I woke up and I just felt off.  My son and I got into a fight—I got into a fight—with a 3 year old.  It was at that moment that I paused everything.  I scooped him up and I told him, “No, we are not starting today like this.  We are starting over.”  And that worked well for a while—but he was not having any of what we needed to do today.

It was somewhere around the 50th argument that I realized we were out of resets for the day.  Today was just one of those days and we were going to have to deal with it.  But I didn’t want to have to deal with it myself.  I started thinking of the things that were getting under my skin and why.  I’ve been in a state of dread thinking about going back to work next week. It has me anxious, but it doesn’t make me frustrated.  I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself to get my business up.  And there is a lot of work to do for my business but I’m concerned (and confused) about what steps to take next.  That is when I knew that I wouldn’t get the answers for myself.

I reached out to my B-School group for assistance.  I have struggled with connection for a long time.  Trusting people and knowing when to reach out for help is really difficult for me so reaching out like that was going out on a limb for me.  And they came through.  They validated my feelings and gave me some actionable advice to take moving forward.  I took a chance and it paid off.  While not all of my problems were solved, it was nice to know that I was not crazy.  It was also nice to focus on something that wasn’t my argumentative 3 year old.

It was a nice reminder that there are people who care and who will help you through.  Sometimes vulnerability is all it takes to find the answers you’re looking for.  It’s a reminder that I want to share with all of you.  During times like this, when isolation is mandatory, it’s easy to feel like you have to solve it all on your own.  Sometimes it drives you crazy because you feel more alone than ever.  But we are not alone.  Sometimes all you have to do is reach out and ask.

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