Catching Up On the Last Week

thermometer on blanket

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on

Hi All.  I wanted to take a minute tonight to talk about where I’ve been the last week.  First, I’ve been working my way through B-School and it is INTENSE.  The program is amazing but it is making me evaluate everything I thought I knew and the next steps at every turn so it is a lot of work.  Then it was an incredibly busy week.  I had a system go live at my 9-5 that took up a ton of time last weekend and through Monday and Tuesday.  As I was going through testing on Tuesday for the go live, my throat began hurting.  I’ve had a history of sore throat issues my entire life so this was nothing new for me but it was definitely painful.  When I woke up on Wednesday I had a fever and I could barely swallow.  I made my husband take my son out of the house and then I went to a fast clinic and stayed home and then was dead to the world.  I tried to go to work on Thursday but I couldn’t talk and I only made it an hour.  Then I woke up on Friday and my son was getting sick as well so I tried to work on Friday and I got through about a half day.  Even though I felt a little better by Friday, I was exhausted.  And my kid needed me.

Work continued and I saw my colleagues pulling together because we are dealing with some urgent situations right now.  I felt completely guilty for not participating and I felt out of my element because I would always make every effort to participate but I simply couldn’t.  I was literally a forced stop.  And I am incredibly grateful for it.

See, with me being sick, with the world falling into chaos right now, I think we all have to re-evaluate where we’re at and what we’re doing.  The forced state of working from home and the ability to still get things done has proven that we can shift things and how we function.  This has proven that not only is it possible, it is necessary now.  We can do things we didn’t think were possible before and if we allow ourselves to adapt and do things differently, then we will surprise ourselves with what we can come up with next.

The general sense, for me, right now is a pause.  We need to just take a break.  Taking a break is sometimes the necessary thing to do.  It’s only when we’re not jumping from thing to thing and we stop keeping ourselves constantly busy that we can see what’s around us.  Yet again, a situation where I haven’t practiced what I preached until I couldn’t do anything but pause, but I’m learning.  And it truly is a beautiful thing.  What a gift for all of us to be able to see a different way of doing things.

There are many systemic changes that need to happen and none of it would happen if we weren’t forced to take this pause.  Because from this terrible situation we see that we can’t move forward as we were.  I have felt this stirring in me for some time as I’m sure many of you have.  After all, that’s why we’re here—we’ve agreed and felt the call for something more.  Truthfully I never anticipated it would come from a pandemic. I had hoped our consciousness would be strong enough to encourage us to reach out for more and the change would come naturally.  Regardless of the catalyst, the day is here.  We are at the precipice of what comes next.  We can either move forward as we were before or we can recognize that it’s time to change.  And believe me, I feel in my heart that there are far more people crying for change even if their voices haven’t been heard yet, than those who want to stay the course.

I pray we recover and that we do better.  I pray we recover and decide to change.  I pray we recover and heal.  I pray we recover and release our fears.  I pray we recover and recognize the value of community.  I pray we recover and recognize the value of time again.  I pray we recover and recognize that outdated systems that no longer serve the majority are at their end—and that we peacefully agree to put them to bed.

Change isn’t a bad thing.  It’s a necessary thing, it’s part of life, and it is constant.  This is a circumstance we have been avoiding for too many years because we’ve been placated with things and distractions and now, given a global health crisis, we are being forced to take that next step.  We have the opportunity to find the common ground in a global community.  So, really, what a gift this is.  It may be wrapped in a terrifying package right now, and we are on shaky ground because we don’t know what the next step looks like.  But we have the chance to make something beautiful out of this.  More than anything, I pray that we choose to do so.

Take this time and enjoy.  Put away the things that distract you and spend time with those closest to you.  Don’t look at this as a negative thing—look at this as doing your part.  Look at is as the chance to tap into your creativity again.  To connect again with the things and people you love and to connect with yourself again.  Sometimes you don’t realize how disconnected you’ve been until you see how much “busy” you’ve put in your life.  So pause.  We will get through this no matter what it looks like on the other side.

And I’d like to add a personal side note: If you don’t have to go out, don’t.  In all seriousness, as someone in the healthcare industry for nearly 20 years, we need to flatten the curve to give our hospitals the best chance to logistically help us through this.  It won’t do anyone any good to have ill healthcare workers and minimal supplies when this reaches its peak.  Please respect your neighbors, yourselves, and your community enough to not spread this disease any more than necessary.  I realize how guilty I was of this as I attempted to go in twice this week—and I will never do it again.  Even though my situation isn’t Covid-19, the same applies.  When you’re sick, stay home.  Your body needs it and will thank you—and so will your co-workers.  What a beautiful act of solidarity—simply taking care of oneself to take care of others.  How gorgeously radical.  😊

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