Today I am grateful for the amazing turn in the weather. I know a lot of people complain about Daylight Saving Time but I woke up early (I thought it was 6:15 but it was really 7:15 hahaha) and I immediately took the dog for a walk. My son and husband still slept so I got outside right away. That is how I want to be able to start my days—a beautiful walk, connecting with nature. Later in the day we were able to go to the lake and my husband fished while my son and I took a walk all the way around the water. It felt like a release after being pent up all winter. It felt like being alive again.
Today I am grateful for that time with my family. It is in those moments that I truly feel like all the nonsense just slips away and there is a connection with what is really important: enjoying time together, and enjoying time in nature. I’ve been so busy with work, with school, and with taking care of the family that we seldom have those moments to just unwind and just enjoy being a family. It was very needed today. The type of thing you don’t realize how much it’s necessary until it happens.
Today I am grateful to realize where I need to redirect my focus. As I mentioned earlier, I’m torn between quite a few projects, and while I feel I’m making progress, I feel like I’ve been running with the gas pedal to the floor for a long time. I need to focus on replenishing. My classes are going through the basics of what it takes to run a business and I’m learning that I can’t just grind through this. I need to slow down and get specific. I need to find what it is in me that wants to get out.
Today I am grateful to reconnect with my husband. I’ve been grateful for this before, but seeing the concentrated effort put into our family makes me remember why we decided to do this together. If I’m honest, I know I stepped off the path for a little bit too. I was so focused on breaking our cycles and finding myself that I didn’t give a lot of consideration for whether or not he was with me. I can see how he felt left behind and how we started to drift for a while. There were other reasons as well, but we have definitely come back to seeing the value in the team so to speak.
Today I am grateful for my health. It has been a long time since I’ve been able to take that kind of walk, let alone two in one day and I am grateful that my body got me through it. Though I’m not as nimble or quick as before, I am still able to do it. It gives me motivation to keep movement and health a priority in my life. I’m not a kid anymore so I can’t treat my body like it’s a dumping ground. My health needs to be a priority.
Today I am grateful to have a plan. Even if it isn’t what I originally thought, I am grateful to be able to move forward and modify as needed. Truthfully, I’m not really even sure if it is a plan. It’s more of a way to move forward without the self-induced stress of before. I know that the things I want to take care of can’t always be a priority and that I will have to be flexible. It doesn’t mean the things I want to do won’t get done.
Today I am grateful for self-acceptance. I really do try to spend as much time on the weekend with my family as possible because that is a priority for me, but there are a few days that emphasize how important that is for me. Today was one of those days. Between school helping me narrow my focus and today spent with my family, I think it became clear what it means to accept myself. I’ve tried for so long to be this successful business executive who wakes up at the crack of dawn, hits the gym, comes home and gets ready for work, all the while being the ideal wife, the amazing mom, the girl who has it all together. The one who doesn’t need sleep and can do it all. I’m not sure if that is real, but regardless of that fact, I am not that woman. And the more I realize that, the more I can focus on what IS me. I can try all I want but I am just not at that phase of my life. I have a toddler and my husband leaves for work by 5AM so I can’t leave the house. Even if I want to work out at home in the morning, my kid wakes up the second I’m out of bed. I live nearly an hour away from work. I’m in school (which is for the big picture in my life). Understanding all of these factors helps me cope with the fact I’m not the picture of who I thought a successful woman is. It sets me up for creating success where I’m at.
Today I am grateful for self-love. Tagging along with self-acceptance, the more I accept the phase of life I’m in now, the more I can love these moments as they’re happening rather than lamenting what I’m not doing. Yes there are things I want in my life and I feel like I should have them because I’m at a certain age where that seems a standard accomplishment. But that’s not where I’m at. I have a full life and I am doing more than my best in the areas I can—and that is enough. The path I am meant to follow may not look like everyone else’s. Ironically I preach walking your own path all the time—I need to practice it as well. I actually feel a little bad because I have spent so much time believing that deciding to go your own way was enough, without considering the emotional ramifications of wondering why you’re not “allowed” to follow the traditional path. That may be a topic for another day but suffice it to say, loving yourself enough to support your own calling is key in this world.