When we are trying to adjust our behaviors we have two choices: adapt to the new behavior you desire or return to what you’re used to. I’m in a position now where I am trying as hard as I can to not give into the old patterns of behavior but I find myself smack in the middle of situations that bring me right back to where I was previously. It is a challenge for me because I still feel things intensely no matter how much I am trying to exercise control and caution with my emotions.
I pulled a card today from my Super Attractor deck and it was “When I’m patient I let the universe do for me what I cannot do for myself.” So…I’m not exactly a patient person either. I don’t want to sit around and wait for things to get done when I know I can be acting on them. I know that the guidance I receive is always right on even if I don’t understand the message immediately. It took me a little while to accept what the message was saying as it pertains to me changing my behavior.
I’ve always been a perfectionist and I tend to expect that I will get things right the first time I try them. I’ve been blessed to be head strong and determined so I will always put forth the effort to get it right. But when I couple this effort to change my old patterns with the idea that I need to be patient, the message is much clearer: I need to be patient with myself because change is hard and it takes a lot to work through that. Perhaps I have taken on too much to change at once and I need to take smaller steps. I need to be patient with myself to make these changes permanent.
I’ve never believed that we just are who we are and we are unchanging. I was, however, unfair in my estimate of what it takes to change. It is a series of shifts and continual self-reminders that we need to watch our thoughts and our actions to see if they support who we are becoming. Sometimes it’s hard to even know who we want to become and it starts with a feeling that something is off or that we want something more.
The universe works in its own time and sometimes we have to let things unfold a little more before we make a decision about how we want them to be. It is our job to be open to the changes that happen and to learn to go with them. We live in a world that doesn’t support that type of timeline because we feel that things need to go according to our schedule—I am extremely guilty of that. But the universe doesn’t rush and it won’t open the next door until it deems you ready for it.
So, in my haste to be the person I’m desperate to become, I have to surrender to what IS. Let go of the desperation for a little bit and relish in what has already happened. Take the time to savor a little. It is better to make a little progress and assimilate the lesson than it is to jump to the end and have no clue what you’re doing. We stumble blindly for so long on the path we are told to follow that learning how to forge our own way can be more than a little disorienting. We have a nasty habit of only praising the end result over the journey. But the journey shapes the result in so many ways. It gives us the depth of who we become because we use those steps as our foundation. If we skip a step we may miss out on a piece of that foundation.
Being patient also shows a sense of trust in the universe. Trust is another of my working points. It makes complete sense that when we give in and let go we can more easily flow with the program. The sense of emotional attachment we forge with our goals can lead us to do some crazy things and to feel utterly helpless or insanely high depending on the result. Rather than attach, get curious. See what comes of a situation and see how it makes you feel. I’m curious enough to try being more patient. I’m curious enough that I want to see how my goals come to fruition. I’m curious enough to stay this course for a while longer. I’m curious enough to try trusting that things will turn out how they were meant to. So that is what I’m going to do.