Just a short post tonight since I’m feeling a little off. I’ve been dealing with illness in the house for the last week and it finally hit me hardcore last night. I’ve been in kind of a daze for the last 24 hours, not feeling right. I feel like I’m caught in-between where I’m supposed to be and where I am. Maybe it’s the holidays being over or maybe it’s the sense of unmet expectations coupled with being sick, but I feel off. At the same time, I feel a sense of anticipation, like I’m at the precipice of something waiting for me to begin—but I’m not sure what the next steps are. Everything has been so out of whack this week that it’s left me feeling like I’m on some fairly unsteady ground. I know I have to do some re-grouping because I don’t want to continue feeling like this.
My first step at this point is to get healthy again. I haven’t been very well rested and I’ve been dehydrated and not feeling well for a few days so I know I’m not thinking clearly. Couple that with the holiday chaos and I’m definitely distracted and off-kilter. That leads to the next step: get clear. I have to keep in mind that this isn’t normally how I function and that I will make better choices when I am healthy. I have some big goals for the next year and I don’t want to bring this mental clutter forward.
Getting clarity also means clarity on where I’m at mentally and not allowing myself to fall into it. Right now I’m just overwhelmed and I’m emotional. Sometimes when you’re overwhelmed or not feeling well, the only thing you can do to get out of it is take a single step. It’s also important to keep perspective. All of the things I’m looking to accomplish can be done with small steps. I don’t need to have it all solved right now—none of us do. All we have to do is take one step.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling to not know which way to go. It’s also a powerless feeling and confusing. But it’s only a feeling and it passes. So sit with it and listen. Maybe it’s just a difficult state of mind that will resolve. Maybe you’re being guided to something bigger. Or maybe you’re just not feeling well and waiting to heal. Breathe.