After a crazy two days, I’ve received the universal message to buck up. I’m choosing to look at it as a sign that I am meant for bigger things than childish whining about things people deal with every day. One of my goals has been emotional control and I can only do that if I don’t allow myself to sink into the emotions as they are happening. I’m not sure if people agree with me one way or the other (is it really just whining or is it justified in some way) but I have to look at the message for what it is: focus on what is really important rather than what did or didn’t go my way.
I received a rewards coupon for a store and wanted to use it today. I had used one of my gifts for Christmas to buy something else for my husband so I wanted to buy a movie for myself—nothing extravagant, just the movie. While we were there I figured we could also pick up a card for our gaming unit and rent a movie for the whole family—I had more than enough on my rewards coupon. While checking out I was informed that the coupon couldn’t be used on digital codes (the card for the gaming unit) so I said fine, that’s my fault for not reading the coupon. I then asked to have it applied to the movie only and was told that I couldn’t do that because the total purchase had to be greater than that of the coupon. I walked out after declining the purchase because I had no intention of spending more money today.
My husband bought himself some ear buds and after finding out that I couldn’t use the coupon myself, he then went back in and had the coupon applied toward his purchase. I felt myself going down the old path of anger followed by the pity party. I mean, seriously? I’ve had an incredibly stressful week and now I’m not even allowed to spend $15 on myself?! But my husband can spend limitless amounts on himself while I pick up the slack? I’m honestly still a little irked by that one.
When we got home I felt the need to ask for some guidance. The card I drew from Gabby Bernstein’s Super Attractor Deck was “When I introduce joy to a situation I change the vibrational frequency of what’s happening around me.” So basically just look at the situation differently. If I want to feel differently, I have to behave differently. I don’t know if there is a right or a wrong but the universe has clearly been showing me that it isn’t about me—at all. It’s time to make the shift to doing what matters and taking control of my own behaviors and reactions. If I want to be a person who looks at the big picture then I need to remind myself of that before letting my emotions get the best of me.
The things that annoy me are really simply annoying my ego. I know I have nothing to be truly upset about and I am not truly lacking. There are better ways to care for myself than spending money on things (even if it’s a coupon). Yes, it’s annoying in the moment because there doesn’t seem to be any reason for it. However taking the time to look at the big picture and remember the end goal makes it easier to get through. I’m not a victim, I’m being redirected.
During the decade in review process I came to understand that ownership of your behavior is power—not getting your way. I’m not talking about biting your tongue to remain civil, I’m talking about honestly re-evaluating the situation and choosing your actions. I want something bigger in my life and especially for my family. I need to behave accordingly.
We all have those days where we feel like nothing goes right. Sometimes those days turn into weeks or longer. But we always have the option to turn it around. We always have the option to ask what is being shown to us, what lesson. It’s not an easy pill to swallow because a lot of times the situations we find ourselves in are exactly those we asked for. We are simply being presented the choice to behave how we have always done or to look at the different path. Sometimes that path doesn’t look how we anticipate it should but it almost always leads us exactly where we need to go. So I’m going to sit with the frustration and look at what I’m trying to do with open eyes. I’m going to honor that I am privileged enough to choose where I am going from here. And I am going to be grateful as I take my next steps.