So after I just published that last piece, I drew another Gabby Bernstein Super Attractor card and it was “I can decide today to recalibrate my energy and commit to love and joy.” I believe that this was a little nod from the universe saying that impatience is a choice and that I have to think long and hard about what my reactions are from now on. The beautiful thing is that I can choose love and joy over impatience. If the universe is powerful enough to create that kind of synchronicity, then that is something to pay attention to.
I mentioned feeling like a failure in the last piece and that is because I truly am hard on myself especially when I react negatively. I feel it in my stomach as a lead pit every time I yell over something. I feel out of control when I yell or when my emotions are so big I let them explode everywhere. It makes me feel like a bad person. I know I am human and we all do things we aren’t proud of. So I guess I am lucky that this is something in my life that is entirely fixable. It is very uncomfortable, but if I want to get to where I want to be, it is a process I need to go through.
This too is another practice—and practice I must. I don’t want my child thinking I am some horrible monster or that he is worthless because I can’t handle his meltdowns and I yell. I want to honor his personality and his creativity and let him know that he IS loved for who he is. So I will use that as motivation for tonight, in addition to breathing, I am going to recalibrate my mind and focus on love. Thank you, universe for the signs that we all have the power to make things better. Any mindset can change as long as you are committed to changing it. So, deep breath, deep love, and an open mind. Here’s to recommitting to love and joy.