“It’s not the absence of fear, it’s overcoming it.  Sometimes you’ve got to blast through and have faith,” Emma Watson.  For millennia people have shared similar sentiment and it’s something I want to echo.  There are parts of life that are super complex—the intricacies of survival and determining what we need and what we want and how we are going to live aren’t necessarily easy.  Perhaps a simple decision, yes, but easy to execute and stand by, no.  Life requires a certain finesse of knowing when to alter our decisions and when to stick with our boundaries and when to hold back and when to go for it.  There are absolutely times we need to put that fear aside and simply tackle what we want head on.  We need to understand that sometimes life is less about doing and more about having faith—and sometimes it’s having faith enough to take action no matter the potential of the outcome. 

There will always be something that terrifies our primal brain—we simply work that way as it is part of our survival mechanism.  Additionally, none of us are born without emotion so there will always be some type of external influence.  We just need to learn to manage that and we need to learn what is ours to carry.  Some of those fears aren’t even ours and we need to learn to put them down.  It really is ok to say, “I will not be burdened with something that was never my issue in the first place.”  That can apply to generational things as well as current coping/adapting behaviors—a parent being afraid of failure doesn’t mean we have to be afraid and just because people demand our energy doesn’t mean we have to give it.  The beauty of fear is that every time we face it we learn something more about ourselves that we are capable of.  And in order to overcome it, we need to face it.

At the end of the day the only way to move forward is to face everything—especially our fears.  The more we run and choose to ignore what’s in front of us, the longer we delay living or doing what we actually need to do.  Plus I can’t tell you how many times the act of facing something I didn’t want to took so much less energy than avoiding it.  We build up the things we don’t want to do to a degree they become this unpassable mountain in our minds.  Truly, even if there ARE challenging parts, all we need to do is put one foot in front of the other and allow things to pass as they are meant to.  It’s a matter of tackling life one thing at a time.  The biggest mountains are in our minds—and so is the biggest prison.  Master the mind and understand what we need to do and the rest becomes easy.  Have faith that we will always know what we are meant to do—and then do it.

I had a long day the other day and I found myself walking around the halls of my job like a zombie, lamenting that I wasn’t outside or with my child.  I realized that I often say no to playing with him because I’m exhausted—even though I’m constantly begging for more time with him.  When we start playing he never wants to stop and I appreciate that because it shows me that there is purpose in play and that we can always push beyond.  At the same time, because he never wants to stop, that often piles onto the exhaustion.  Even if I say yes, it’s still not enough—someone is always demanding more attention.  I know wholeheartedly that I am exhausted because my cup is empty.  Ok, not totally empty, but it is often depleted.  I know I’m in an unhealth environment (and I have for a long time) but this is confirmed when I am up at 3AM to work out every day and I feel great but then automatically feel fatigued when I get to work.  There are places that simply take the life out of us.

When we surround ourselves with light and joy there is always time for play.  We don’t have to shirk responsibility but we also don’t have to take this life as seriously as we do.  Play creates bonds and alleviates stress and offers a creative platform.  But it has to be genuine play that stimulates us, not forced play where we have to give more than we have.  We have to find work that complements us, that allows us to share our gifts but also replenishes that cup so we have the desire and drive to do more.  We need to do what we need to do to fill our cups including taking a day or making something we really love doing a priority.  This is the only way to truly connect, not only with others, but with ourselves.

I could go on a rant about how this society, the way we live today is thrilled to have us exhausted.  That it’s designed to keep us exhausted so we are kept in our place.  I don’t want to go off on my theories about that but I do believe it’s true.  When we are distracted and tired we become complacent and less likely to push for our own desires/dreams or our purpose/joy.  Too often people are comfortable putting those feelings up as the norm—that because the majority of people feel that way that it’s normal.  The truth is that in the animal kingdom there is always a hierarchy, but that is often based on survival—and I have written many pieces about the transfer of the human need to actually survive and the evolution into the ego’s need to survive.  We truly don’t need to waste our energy and resources in this pissing contest of power and the game of who got more.  In fact playing that game feeds into the system even more and perpetuates the cycle.  We need to wake up to our lives and embrace them, love them, and fully live them. To do that we need to play and we need to set boundaries, make time for what is important to us.  You never know, maybe that will be the example to others.     

“Think of all the times you’ve upgraded certain aspects of your life.  All of this is the power of what it feels like to continuously evolve and view life through a higher lens.  Life’s number one skill that you need to develop is programming you..deciding what outcomes you want, setting goals,” Rob Dyrdek.  Rob shared this wisdom after telling the story of how he bought his first ’93 Honda Civic and knowing that he overextended himself.  He said he overshot the mark.  But he shared this in the respect that he was upgrading his life and that he needed something a little beyond reach to keep him moving forward.  To get bigger you need bigger goals and bigger vision.  You need something to keep you growing.

I never enjoyed the kind of pressure of taking on a project I knew couldn’t be achieved.  I mean I had an outright aversion to it.  Plus I had a chip on my shoulder about being the kid who did the project all those years in school—if I didn’t want a bad grade I had to do it myself.  Ironically, even though I have this aversion, one of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt, “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll still land amongst the stars.”  I love the idea behind it, but I secretly always knew I would hit my mark—if I wanted the moon, that’s what I would get.  I wanted more but I settled for mediocre so I wouldn’t get stuck with something I didn’t want long term.  Putting the idea of going for something just out reach into context with Rob’s quote, I understand the point because if you aim for more than what you have and more than where you think you can go, you will get further than you would have with a smaller goal in mind—even if you don’t get the exact goal.

For me it was a matter of fear—fear of judgment or other people telling me I could/couldn’t do something.  I didn’t want to make a big production out of it because of the fear of failure.  And believe me, I always had a contingency plan.  I always knew what I would do if I failed—I would make it not my fault saying so and so needed me or I was supposed to do x and when those things didn’t come through I could say it wasn’t my fault.  I was scared of the task, I was scared of success.  I didn’t know how to listen to my body or my mind or my soul—it was all outside influences and fear that directed me.  Now I want to set the bar a bit further ahead because I don’t want to stay here.  I don’t want my progress contingent on what other people do.  It isn’t so much about the pressure, it’s about learning what we are capable of.  If we tell ourselves we are only capable of x, when we hit x we will stop.  So go for y.   

Today I am grateful for flexibility.  In the spirit of discussing difficulty letting go of the way I’ve always done things, there have been several bumps in the road this week (some of which we will discuss later next week).  These things required me to make quick decisions completely against what I would normally decide.  I had no other choice but to go with it and, honestly, I found some peace.  I don’t know if it was the rest my brain needed, the jog to get me in a new state of mind, but being away from the standard day and then having to work on a day I normally don’t offered new insight.  Sometimes we really do need the silence to guide the mind.  Being able to work without distraction totally changes the playing field, but when we deal with the hustle and bustle all day, constant distraction, working distraction free becomes awkward or even unfamiliar.  We are trained to think it’s unproductive.  It’s the most productive we can be.  Our worth isn’t determined by how many fires we can put out at once.  It’s about how we can be flexible enough to know when we need to adapt and sometimes thinking outside the box to find an alternative solution.  It’s about being open to finding a new way of doing things—you may surprise yourself at how good it works out.

Today I am grateful for communication.  Even the cards today spoke about communication.  Sometimes we know what we want but we struggle to articulate it.  For years I’ve felt this thing inside of me that I really couldn’t explain.  It was this vague sense of knowing, of feeling a certain way, of seeing things a certain way and knowing that was what I wanted but having no idea how to get there and no idea of what it actually was.  I was burned emotionally so much as a child and young adult that I struggled to find safety or trust and I learned to mistrust myself as well. Plus the feeling of not knowing what I actually felt or how to explain it created deeper mistrust in myself.  But as I’ve been practicing, these things have been becoming clearer and clearer.  With learning to trust feelings and expressing what we want we learn how to voice what we need, what we feel and we learn how to get it.  I know I spent too much time worrying about how my actions impacted people—it had its positives as well because I could plan ahead for the best outcome, but it left me a neurotic mess because I was afraid of the negative implications of doing what I wanted.  But we have desire and drive and the ability to communicate in so many ways—we just need a little practice sometimes.

Today I am grateful for friends.  Sometimes we need those people who force us to come out of our shells, especially when we don’t feel like it.  I watch a friend of mine with a beautifully complicated dynamic—she is incredibly giving and loving and caring while also being super firm in her boundaries.  I admire her because she has 0 fear in expressing who she is but she openly embraces people for who they are and she understands things about them, the little quirks that make them special.  Me being a people pleaser struggled to understand how someone could be that bold without feeling shame or regret, and I realized, I have those ideas as well and I’m vocal as well—but she actually does something about it.  We need people who complement us, who make us see the other side of ourselves, who not only accept us, but who encourage us to be who we are meant to be.  It took me a long time to find people who accepted me like that and I am so grateful that I did.  Their unique talents, their ability to weather any storm, the assistance and community we have built.  It’s a gift.

Today I am grateful for living.  Going through any change is challenging, especially when we are working on ourselves or our development in particular.  Sometimes we want things to be a certain way or we feel so tired that we don’t want to push on (or feel like we can’t) and then something comes up and we have to expend more energy.  The other day I was so tired after work and I had a massive headache.  Work has been challenging and super busy, I’ve been up early to get in a productive workout, my son has been sick so I’ve been up with him for nights, and I’m balancing an endless to do list.  I knew I had to work on Saturday so the last thing I wanted to do was entertain but my husband told me he invited our friends over.  I initially told him I was so tired and my head hurt that I really wished he had told me before having people over.  At the end of the day, it was best they did come over because we had some good laughs, good foot, and we were able to support each other with our presence.  We can never pause life, as much as we may want too, so it was nice to embrace the moment and I am grateful that we have friends who cared enough to join us.  Our home, table, hearts, and stomachs were full—what a blessing.

Today I am grateful for decisions.  I know that some tough decisions are coming up soon.  I know that I need to be prepared for some of these and to do that I really need to be in touch with myself—I have to get really honest about what I want because these are the decisions that are going to change the course of many things to come.  There was a time I would let myself get overwhelmed by any decision, and there are times I still get overwhelmed by even the tiniest inconvenience (I’m working on it).  Now I see it as a gift.  I have so many opportunities in front of me, and as long as I find the clarity and focus, I will make the right decision—and I know it will be the right decision because if I am in that frame of mind I will be aligned with what I am meant to do.  Decisions aren’t meant to overwhelm us, they are meant to be a gift to help us cut away the extraneous in our lives, to help narrow our focus to what matters.  All we need to do is be honest about who we are and what we feel and the deciding becomes easy because we know exactly what we need to do.  Embrace the tough choices because at the end of the day, they really aren’t that tough—they are meant to get us where we need to be and we are lucky to have the option to make those choices.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”  I saw this quote and it wasn’t attributed to anyone but I fell in love with it.  As I’ve been on this continual journey of evolution, development and improvement, I am constantly seeing ways I can improve and I’ve realized how much I still stick with what I know.  I don’t know if I’m waiting for the right time or the exact right amount of time, money, energy etc., but I do know that I haven’t been quite where I want to be.  Driving home from work the other day I legitimately had a moment where I felt complete presence.  I found myself thinking, “This is exactly how I want to feel.”  It was a feeling of warmth, calmness, certainty, and peace that where I was was exactly where I needed to be.  The realization came after I’d been chewing on some events from the day and I suddenly understood that I don’t need one particular individual in my life.  I’d been hiding behind this person at work and like lightning, it hit me that everything I’ve done in the last few years has been without her.  It used to infuriate me—and it is still frustrating—but in that moment I realized that all of those accomplishments were my own—and I didn’t need her to open any kind of doorway.  I’ve created my own.

As I continued down that train of thought, I went further into the work I’m doing even in my personal relationships and I realized that I truly don’t need any of them either.  All my life I’ve waited until other people around me were ok with my decisions before acting on them.  I thought too many steps ahead and all it did was keep my brain spinning instead of actively making progress.  I will NEVER deny the people who have helped me progress and I am so grateful for every gift I’ve been afforded in my life—I wouldn’t be here without the actions of family and friends, and yes, even some coworkers.  But the reality of it still is that I did the work on my own.  People have provided me tools and resources that I needed but at the end of the day I did the build myself.  So that evening when all of these things swirled through my head, I finally understood that power.  I understood that if I had done all of that on my own, I am fully capable of building what I do want.  Again, these aren’t new lessons, these are just new visceral experiences of them.

There are so many layers to healing that calling it a rabbit hole doesn’t even do it justice.  I’m in this phase where the experience of the things I thought I knew is totally different from what I thought I knew.  I never knew what it was like to experience that certainty and that calmness.  I had a feeling something like this was coming because I had that moment of calmness during my interview last week.  All of the games we play, all of these facades and charades we have, are simply that: fake faces we wear in a poor attempt to protect ourselves.  This life is a cosmic gift and even if we don’t know the full meaning of it, I know we are meant to give it some form of meaning.  The story I told myself for so long was that I needed to be in a certain place at a certain time or I would lose out on the things I currently have.  But what if the things I currently have and the way I’m living are the things that are holding me back?  I’m fighting to keep this façade, this image going when really I should be expanding and building on it.  And I work on this every day, trying to incorporate these lessons, failing and flying all in one.  Make it an adventure.

I watched my son struggle with a trick he wanted to do on the playground the other day.  He was frustrated because he’d been able to do it a few days prior but he struggled to replicate it on our most recent walk there.  I saw myself in him, the need to get it right immediately on that first try back at the playground.  I found myself telling him that it’s about making progress.  We both fixate on the end result and struggle with what it takes to get there.  I struggle because I feel there is a specific reward for specific action and he struggles because he conceptually understands things but doesn’t know how to practically get there—and he expects to have it on the first try.  We both struggle with that, actually.  But I felt a certain wisdom channel through me and I also told him, “When you don’t get it right away there’s an opportunity to learn something new or to get better at doing it.”  Something I need to practice/remember myself, as well.  

But right now we are here in Spring, the trees are budding and it’s a new beginning.  This is an opportunity for all of us to appreciate where we are at in the journey and to appreciate it.  The more present we are and the more we can accept and understand what we need to improve upon (heck, even what we need to do next) the easier it is to adapt, learn and integrate so we can improve.  Will Wonka said “Invention my dear friends is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butter scotch ripple.” (thank you Gene Wilder 😊).  The reason this stands out is because it’s about the effort, the learning, the adaptation of what we are creating that matters.  It isn’t the end product that comes first, it’s the creation of it.  And the truth is that we can’t get to the end without learning what we need to first.  If the goal is to get to the end, we will miss all the living in between—and that means we miss the opportunities to learn and potentially make something even better.  So take time to be where we are, take time to learn.  Life is a big experiment anyway—we all end up in the same place, so we might as well make it an adventure while we are here.  Have fun.     

Continuing on our topic from yesterday, I want to talk about the facets of these relationships which are actually healthy but they are holding us back.  This isn’t to suggest any kind of superiority or hierarchy against people, but we do all have different experiences in our lives which do put us in different positions.  We can’t get to the point where we are letting people limit our experience because of where they are at in the journey.  No one can tell us what is enough for us in our lives—and there is no need to start over if something is legitimately working for us.  Trust me, I’ve decided to throw away progress when it got tough because I was around people who were at that beginning stage so I felt like I needed to start again.  All that does is keep us in the same cycle over and over again.  We also need to recognize what fears we harbor that don’t belong to us.  Those are limitations set by other people. 

Whoever it is, they don’t get to tell us what is enough.  I’m not saying be boastful or put someone down for where they are at or for what they enjoy—that isn’t how we lift each other up or learn. And one thing I’m learning in this balancing act is that just because I’ve been there and done that with some of these experiences, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have things to learn as well.  They have a different perspective so believe me, there is still a lot to learn. While we don’t need to diminish someone else’s excitement, we don’t need to settle for where they are at either.  The way we help each other is to share our perspective and not place demands on how people experience it.  We also advance when we follow our instincts and stick with what is right for us.

It’s a balancing act, a continual growth and shedding, a deconstruction and building.  This is how we are designed, how we are meant to be.  Life is about experience and creation and we are here to help each other and part of that is recognizing our contributions.  If we feel like we are beyond something, then we need to consider that we are there to advance those around us.  Knowing ourselves is key.  Knowing when we need something more is crucial.  We don’t want to stagnate.  We want to create.  Accept where we are and our role in it as well as responsibility for moving forward and making changes.  And always, be grateful for where we are and what we learn.  Don’t discount a lesson we need or a lesson we need to give so appreciate any opportunity we have.

Hearing the saying about how life is about the little things can often feel trite or even diminishing or demeaning when we are in the face of doing something big.  While I could never explain it, I’ve always had this sense that I was supposed to do something more in life, something really big—something that would impact a lot of people.  I NEVER intended for it to be ego because it wasn’t, but I know I had a tendency to put value on higher ticket experiences than other people did and it was because our experiences were different.  It took me a while to realize that even the things I’ve experienced pale in comparison to others (not that I’ve lived in the lap of luxury by any means).  But there are moments when we need to really understand the big picture and see how the little things mean so much more. How the little things really do make us fortunate.  Sometimes in those moments we don’t understand how fortunate we are, especially if we grow up thinking a certain way of life is normal or having a certain perception on how things are.  We all have different experiences so that gauge is different for all of us.    

I’m part of a beautifully inclusive team in the business I own and they recently had a conference out of state and they were staying at a hotel chain that, for many of them, was a new experience and something luxurious.  The more they spoke about it, the more I had a sense of not feeling the excitement they do.  I couldn’t put my finger on why I felt that way and it felt like an age thing because many of them are young—and they are truly young (some of them just turning 20).  It took me a minute to realize the issue: I’ve done all this before.  Part of me felt guilty because I truly don’t want to diminish their joy in this experience but I also don’t want to pretend that this is enough for me anymore.  At the same time I realize how fortunate I have been to have had these experiences before.  I’ve stayed at hotels like that since I was a kid.  The realization isn’t a matter of ego or being unimpressed so much as it’s that I need something more.  The crux of it is this: I’m at a different stage in my life.  Doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to learn, but I also know there is more in this life—a different experience.  Additionally I have a family, a team I created on my own and many of these people don’t have that—life moves differently when you have that.   

If we are meant to dream big, we need to appreciate what we have and where we came from, that is always true.  But we can’t limit ourselves based on the limitations of others, and there are times it’s so challenging for me to work with a team because we are at different stages in life, different stages in this game.  And I know at some point we will have to meet in the middle because we have lessons to teach each other.  They don’t know what it’s like to have a family, to have a job that brings enough success to afford a house because they aren’t there yet.  I also don’t have the experience of throwing what I know aside and taking the risk to make a life for myself like they have—and that’s because of the golden handcuffs and the house and the family.  One experience isn’t better than the other, but they are different and we make different decisions because of them.  The team is varied with some starting with nothing, some with those golden handcuffs, some who run the whole show and some who are learning. The point is, being a team is taking all of that information and putting it together so we can learn from each other.  I need to learn the basics of the business and the confidence to run it while they need to understand there is something bigger out there.  I know what exists and I know what I want—now I just need to know how to do the work to get it for myself.  How cool to have those resources in each other.    

I was recently in a confrontation with a co-worker in my 9-5.  Things have been hectic as I have a department with no staff and I’ve been taking on additional responsibilities as well as working the front line.  A few emails came through from one of my other teams and we didn’t receive the help we needed, we got push back.  After the conference I went to last weekend and having a successful interview with a higher up, I felt no need to deal with that type of nonsense especially when we had an agreement about who would be responsible for a certain function.  So when the team responsible for it said no, I called them on it.  Soon my boss got involved and started asking questions about my team and their status and how many positions I had open so I immediately became defensive.  I knew exactly where it was going: this was somehow going to come back to my team even though I’m short staffed in two departments—and that is a challenge because we run lean anyway.  When the other leader involved showed up at work it was evident that she was upset over something.  I assumed it was me and didn’t say anything.  She had her meeting with our boss and she started to leave saying that our meeting was going to be pushed to next week.  I stopped her and asked if she was ok and she burst into tears. 

Needless to say all the crap went out the window and I immediately started working with her to figure out what happened.  It was unrelated to our issue but I knew that she needed support.  I had been prepared to go in strong but I can’t help but stop the crap and try to get to the root of the issue.  There is something to be said for a human who can put aside their ego and still offer compassion and caring—it tends to break down any wall that we have, and I’m not trying to say I’m special or anything but I know that I would want the same courtesy.  Every time I think I’m going in to control the situation or handle something I often find myself in this position.  Just as I’m trying to maintain a boundary, I get to the root of the issue and I am grateful for it. There is a moment when working with difficult people or working in a difficult situation when the façade breaks.  Suddenly you see the person who seemed against you for what they are: a human being. They’re fragile.  They’re scared.  They’ve probably been acting confident the entire time you thought they were making you miserable intentionally.  Seeing the reality break through the shell is a sobering moment. 

We all create these defenses because we don’t feel we can trust that being seen as ourselves is safe.  How sad.  We’ve forgotten how to relate to each other.  We’ve forgotten how to be with each other.  We’ve forgotten how to hold space for each other because we’ve been set against each other as the enemy or that we are competition.  We’re so afraid that if people see us as vulnerable they will take advantage of us somehow.  That has absolutely happened to me and I’ve often felt miserable and regretted it when it has happened.  But I know in my experience, as soon as we see that vulnerability, there is no need to go at arms with anyone.  We are fully capable of talking it out and working with each other.  We don’t need to dominate each other, we need to learn to work with each other.  We are all on the same rock floating through space and everything we do impacts each other so there comes a point where we have to understand how much we need each other, how interdependent we are.  In the grand scheme of things I don’t care about having power over people—I want to make situations better so we stop treating each other like crap.  That all starts with treating each other with compassion, how we want to be treated.  At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if people showed us the same courtesy or respect—they are operating from a hurt place too.  It’s how we help each other get through it. 

I don’t know how the habit started but I often refer to myself as a plural.  I say things like, “We’ll see you later,” instead of simply saying, “I’ll see you later.”  It’s a habit that started several years ago and I think it coincided with the timing of having to do multiple things and be multiple places at once.  My subconscious was telling me that I was doing too much and that my brain was being split.  This society often encourages this type of behavior and calls it multi-tasking.  I complained to my boss about having to divide my attention and getting frustrated and she made the comment that the person who had the role before me didn’t have any issue doing it.  She also made the comment that my other coworkers also had multiple areas to oversee.  So I felt guilty, like I wasn’t doing enough and like something was wrong with me for not being able to handle all of that responsibility.  The reality is this: the manager before me didn’t have the same departments I do and my coworkers have multiple departments that perform the same function.  My departments all perform unique functions.  I’ve said it before and I share that story again because it is my testament to the fact that multitasking is not a way to be successful.  It does not make things easier or more efficient.  It creates confusion and lack of focus and more non-productive time having to shift between modes.  And frankly, it tears the mind apart.

The fact that I have been required to do that for the last 7 years along with having a child, I can say my brain understandably started having difficulty transitioning and transmuting information and communicating it.  The mind isn’t designed to have that kind of split attention for this long.  It diminished my confidence because nothing was getting done to full capability and it made me feel so stupid and worthless because people thought I wasn’t doing my job.  What I’ve realized is that it also made me afraid and mistrustful of my ability.  I didn’t think I could handle what came before me because I couldn’t see it through.  I didn’t think I could do the work or that I could understand anything else.  With this energy shifting in the universe and constantly being told it’s time to walk away from what doesn’t serve, I think it’s time to say good bye to some of those multiple pieces of myself.  I do not have to prove anything and I certainly don’t need to stay in a position that isn’t healthy for me. I am enough as one person and that person is trying her best to be seen for all she is. 

It’s easy for people on the outside to criticize and tell us how we should be all while never doing the work themselves.  Those people find joy in making other people jump through hoops because it makes them feel powerful.  They tear confident people down in insidious ways through gaslighting and fear mongering because it makes them feel better in themselves.  For people who are trained to please others, it’s a recipe for disaster because we tend to believe that.  We need to remember that self-loathing will get us nowhere, especially when it’s coming from someone else’s opinion—someone who doesn’t even do the work.  There are some people in power who have more fear than sense and they try to tear down those who think outside the box.  They think power comes from making other people feel bad—they gain energy by taking energy through putting other people down. So in feeling like I’m not enough, I had to create these multiple versions of myself hoping that one of them was good enough.  In facing the struggle with standing up for myself and being confident, I clearly see how this habit of plurality started.  I needed to remember that my worth isn’t contingent on what anyone things—no one but myself.  It is ok to set and maintain the boundaries that are right for me and to do the work that feels right instead of working for praise.  I am enough.  We are all enough.  Bring all the pieces back together.