A little witch craft and a reminder—yesterday we were talking about faith and it may seem sacrilege to compare witchcraft to faith, but the truth is the connection to mind/body/sprit/earth is the most profound example of having faith I can think of. It demonstrates the connection we have to source and to ourselves. I had a few moments over the last few weeks that really highlighted that for me. I was having a rough day at work and I really needed to get out of there. Full transparency, I started thinking of an excuse like a teenager to leave. I told myself I could say that CJ hit his head at school. I immediately told myself, “No, that’s bad karma and I don’t want to put that out in the world.” Within the hour, I legitimately got an email from his teacher that he had bumped his head at school. I mentioned the incident with the book from Dave Grohl. I have honestly wanted that book for a while and when I saw it for less than $14 and in paperback, I really wanted it. With it being the holidays I hesitated because there were other things I needed to get as well. Something still told me to put it in the cart so I did. When I got in the car and started scrolling (something I do when anxious), I saw the meme about Dave Grohl’s cat. That couldn’t have been coincidence—that was confirmation.
I knew in that instant that it was time to stop screwing around, make a decision, get a clear vision, and to stop being afraid of connecting with the instincts that were clearly showing through. It’s ok to be a little witchy and connect with what makes sense for me even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. It’s ok to have the belief and certainty in ourselves that we can make the things we want happen as long as they are in the natural order. Our connection is demonstrated in the most random of ways sometimes, and when that happens, we need to be grateful and trust that we are following the right path. Knowing we are in the right place at the right time. Following our instincts. It’s hard in a world filled with distraction, endless to do lists, goals that aren’t fully ours but demonstrate status/success, insecurity, fear, and a myriad of other things that keep the goal out of focus. All of those things piled together keep us as far from our instincts as possible. But we need to know what we are doing and trust what we are doing. Connecting with self is the most important thing we can do. That’s the surest way to connect with the universe and spirit—through knowing ourselves. Having faith in itself is a little witchy—trusting what we can’t see. There is an endless source of magic in the world and we are part of that. So, trust and believe, trust the signs and follow it. That’s how the magic unfolds.
This is my favorite holiday. I love the pomp and circumstance of this day, the decorating, the chaos of family together, the food—I’m pretty sure I talked about that last year as well. Things have changed over the years as time tends to make happen. Certain traditions I’ve tried to hold on to while incorporating new traditions, new family. But at its foundation, Christmas is about faith and certainty in spite of the pagan traditions we love. It’s about knowing that we have to follow our path as crazy as it seems. No matter whether it makes sense to us or others, we know it’s something we have to do. Taking that leap when it doesn’t make sense is the greatest demonstration of faith to ourselves and others. Part of finding ourselves is learning to have faith—learning to let go of what needs releasing and following our path because it makes sense to us. We find that faith by taking the leap and we create certainty and confidence in who we are. We know what works for us and what doesn’t, and with faith, we learn to follow what feels right and what we know will work for us. This includes our environment.
It’s so important to create an environment that represents us and that feels right to us, something that supports our growth. That includes the people we surround ourselves with. We need to make space for those who support and encourage us and who we can reciprocate with. The spirit of Christmas is about love, support, and family but the reminder here is that our family is what we make it. We know who we need around us or at least we know what feels right, who encourage the best in us. The holidays can be difficult for those who don’t have a group like that or whose family isn’t behind them. Even for those who have a supportive family, they can feel the pressure of things needing to be perfect. Family is meant to be a system. Above all, it’s about love and support because this time of year is a reminder to connect. We need to know how to connect with ourselves and love ourselves and to connect with spirit for guidance and connect with loved ones for support. It’s about finding those who can use our help and finding help if we can use it ourselves. Believing in ourselves and our abilities makes our connection that much stronger.
This Christmas is a bit different because we aren’t all together today due to illness so it’s a little disappointing but that doesn’t change that I am so grateful for what we do get to celebrate today. Today is a quiet day for us to celebrate our love and joy and to reconnect as our little nuclear family. No, it isn’t the big show—we will do that in a few weeks when we are all healthy. But I have faith that this is all for a reason. We are meant to slow down and make this about us today. It’s supposed to be about love and peace and finding a new way forward together. What a gift. There really isn’t a better gift and I appreciate that we’ve had to take some time to find different ways to express that with each other because we aren’t physically together. The universe moves at its own pace and sometimes we have to trust that it’s all for a reason. No, it isn’t the same, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s just a different focus this year. Above all, the message and the meaning of today hasn’t changed. We are still connecting and believing and learning to follow our path. The spirit is still here no matter what it looks like.
Today I am grateful for my family. There are a million things that family is. The people who love us, the people who support us. The people who drive us crazy. The people who know all of our fears. The people we want to make proud. The people we share everything with—or hide things from. I am grateful to have a system of people who I can rely on. I struggled to feel like I belonged with anyone, friend or family, for a really long time. I felt like I was on the outside and needed to prove my way in. Family doesn’t work like that. Family is the support we are born into and the support we create. My husband and son drive me insane at times but I wouldn’t choose anyone else in my corner. No, it isn’t all sunshine and daisies, but the love is always there. It’s hard to prioritize family at times because we have so many conflicting responsibilities, but I don’t regret choosing their needs over some perceived responsibility elsewhere. I am grateful to learn how to be that support for them as well. I am fiercely protective of the ones I love and I am grateful to give back what they need from me. Time goes quickly and it is so important to prioritize time with the ones we love.
Today I am grateful for health. We have been dealing with on and off respiratory crap since September. I’ve been getting progressively more annoyed with it because it just seems to always be there and there are things that constantly need to be done. To be fair, I think the annoyance comes from the fact that most of the time, even with the illness, I’ve felt ok enough to get things done but then the energy is just zapped out of me and the list of what needs to be done is growing longer and longer. It feels like I just can’t keep up. But I know that overall we are ok. I know that moving to the end of the year my health is something I need to focus on even more than I have. It isn’t something I want to dabble in anymore, I want to take things to the next level and protect my mind and body. I want to share that with others as well. It’s a huge shift in priorities for me and something I need to follow through on—also something that I need to have more clarity around. Health in general is good and I’ve mastered that. But in order to feel like I’ve taken care of myself and set myself up for long term health, I need to change some priorities and figure out how to create a plan for myself that puts health first—physical and mental. Give up old comfort habits and step into what’s good for me, allow that to be my norm.
Today I am grateful for following my own lead. I’ve been scared to follow through on some things I know will move me forward. They will change how I operate in life and I’m not sure I’m ready for that consistently. At the same time, I know that I can’t allow myself to continue to wander from thing to thing, throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. I’m the only one who can decide what my future looks like, who knows what I enjoy, who knows what I want to share with the world. I can’t make statements like I want to be a certain way or do a certain thing and then do what other people tell me to or decide on what makes other people happy. I can’t let other people’s opinions of me dictate what I do with my time. I’ve shared here so many times about how we are the ones who are in control of our lives and that is something I need to consistently remember.
Today I am grateful for opportunity. There are opportunities that fall in our laps and opportunities we create. When we know something isn’t working we need to make the choice of looking for a different opportunity or learning to cope with how things are. I’ve recently decided to start looking at some other opportunities that would ease up some of the daily stressors I face, namely giving me more time in my day. It’s a bit disappointing because I haven’t seen much movement on it yet, but in my heart I know that it’s the right thing to do. I know that the focus needs to shift and I need to do something to alleviate this pressure I feel now. I can’t say that I’m not grateful for what I’ve learned where I am, I can’t say that I don’t appreciate what has already been afforded to me. But I know that what I’ve given up is something I can no longer sacrifice. I know I need to be clear about what the next steps are, but understanding opportunity and not being afraid to go for it have been the first steps for me and I am grateful for it.
Today I am grateful for planning, deciding, and cooperation—deciding the direction and making a plan to get there. My business partners have been participating in a 21 day challenge, one that I was supposed to do as well but I completely chickened out—I still have to work on that whole accountability thing. But I’ve seen the results they’ve had and the support they offer each other and I’ve realized that I need to get better at clarity and planning. Making a decision is not as complicated as I’ve made it. It’s the process that I’ve repeatedly shared here over the years. Lean into what feels good and decide what direction to go in and then work on closing the gap to get here. It’s that accountability thing again. I spent so much time doing what I was told as a kid that I’m kind of averse to doing what others tell me but I’ve also got this people pleaser mentality where I want to do what they tell me. Planning and deciding what needs to be done is a major step in the right direction, though.
Today I am grateful for releasing the fear of other’s opinions. My son woke up in tears the other day with an earache and it just so happened to be the Friday before the holiday—we’ve been sick right before the holidays for some time now. My initial thought was that my boss would never believe that we were sick again so I brought him to my parents with the plan of calling the doctor to get his medicine called in over the phone because we’ve seen this with him many times before. They needed to see him so the day turned into chaos with settling things at work and then finding out how to get him to the office and get his prescription. Meanwhile my boss was emailing about something she considered an issue and I was trying to be both the mother and the diligent employee. My frustration peaked because my son ended up back in my office with me in so much pain when we simply should have gone home. I had told myself that I wouldn’t allow her to create a fire before a holiday again simply because she wasn’t in the office and here I was feeding into it. I need to stand firm and do what is right for me—it doesn’t matter if she believes me or if she thinks of me one way or the other, I know what my family needs, I know what I need. Letting go of that fear is what will allow me to stand confidently in who I am.
Distance is the only answer to disrespect. This is a concept I wasn’t familiar with for most of my life. I’ve been trained to people please and that means giving a lot of chances to people who probably don’t deserve them. It means prioritizing other people’s opinions and wants over my needs. It means doing anything to get their attention so I don’t feel lonely. It means doing more when the situation really required doing less—or walking away all together. In the moment it’s hard to recognize that because the thought of being alone can be crippling so we do whatever it takes to keep that person near. As time has gone on, I’ve learned that our job isn’t to make these people happy—it’s to make ourselves happy. To honor our goals and make sure we are secure and taken care of in ourselves. No one will do that for us. This isn’t to say that I don’t fall into old habits, especially with old hierarchies in place—but I’m more aware of it now and I’m quicker to get out of it, even if I still have residual guilt over it.
The truth is it’s about boundaries, self-respect, and faith. It’s necessary to set boundaries in line with who we are. Of course there are always exceptions where we have to go out of our comfort zone for people but the general idea is that behavior isn’t a rule and it should be based on that person’s need, not making them like us. Boundaries let people know what’s in our realm of capacity and asserts what their responsibility is. Self-respect is about maintaining boundaries but it’s also about knowing we don’t need to be liked by everyone. For those who cross the boundaries repeatedly, we need to make it clear that we aren’t there for their purposes. We have needs to meet in line with who we are, we aren’t seeking the other person’s approval. I say this is also about faith because we have to know that we are always supported so even if we have to walk away from people, we are never truly alone. We need faith that we are doing the right thing and it will all turn out.
When our boundaries are crossed on the regular and we do nothing about it, we lose that respect because we falsely say we have the boundary—and the other person can see we do not. We need to know that our needs are worth more than anyone else’s want and that we are not responsible for meeting that person’s desires if that behavior isn’t reciprocated. It doesn’t have to be a grand show of leaving a person or putting our foot down—but we need to put the foot down firmly and then follow through if the behavior continues. We have to be prepared to walk away in order to preserve our energy and our sanity. We have to walk away because we know our worth. Sometimes we make it down the driveway and the person sees what they need to fix—other times we just keep going. Either scenario is ok as long as our peace and integrity are maintained. It’s ok to do what it takes to maintain that peace and integrity. The more we set the boundary, the more we know ourselves. Don’t be afraid to make someone uncomfortable or unhappy because we think it will anger them—that’s all the more reason to do it. Stand firmly and confidently in who we are and allow the chips to fall where they may—just make sure to follow through.
I heard something the other day that stopped me in my tracks: Your goal is to become the person that is willing to do what it takes to achieve all of your goals. All this time I’d been considering my goal as achieving a specific thing. Look at the target and do what it takes to get there. But when we look at the concept of flow, we need to consider that it may be the wrong way to go about it. Rather than focusing on the task by itself, we should consider the all around purpose of the goal and what that life looks like when the goal is achieved. Now, this isn’t for everything—if your goal is to purchase a book, then get to the bookstore or purchase it online. But for the goals that seem out of reach, out of our realm, we need to look at who we are. Are we repeating old patterns that keep us from the goal? Doing what we always did because it’s familiar? Or are we taking the steps to make the different decision? Are we becoming the person who makes those new decisions as naturally as the old ones?
We are such a task oriented, see-it-to-believe-it, go-it-alone, accolades and achievement based society that we forget introspection and connection. We are trained that way. We are trained to ignore the thoughts and feelings that get us where we want to be, where we are meant to be in favor of what we are told we are supposed to do. I’m not saying that there is a huge distinction between being goal oriented and being the person who achieves the goal, but I am saying that when we seek to check something off the list, it’s not as satisfying as creating the life we want. It’s the difference between getting a fish and learning to fish. Uncovering the root of who we are and who we are meant to be and focusing on those goals.
I started doing a life analysis, considering some of my major goals and what it takes to be that person. I also went so far as to ask what a person who lives that life looks like, what they would do. It became pretty evident that there is a gap. Now, this isn’t too far from what we’ve talked about with goal setting before. In general it was setting the goal, seeing where we’re at in relation to the goal, then doing what it takes to get there. But when it comes to being the person who makes those goals naturally, there are a few more intricacies. We have to be more aware of those initial thoughts and taking the pause between thought and action. The process is the same, but the focus bears an important difference: being the person who lives the life rather than the person who strives to live the life. It isn’t just about the goal, it’s about being that way consistently. Then the decisions come naturally and soon we don’t have to think about it—we simply are it.
There is another side to the concept of moving and that is the acceptance of change—and dealing with the fact that the idea of change can be scarier than the actual change itself. Yet again this is a matter of keeping perspective. We have this idea of what we are letting go of and we fail to realize that sometimes we are having a more challenging time because we have to let go of the IDEA of something rather than the thing itself. Letting go of the idea means letting go of the potential of what something could have been, the desire we held close to our hears. We also tend to favor the nostalgic look back and romanticizing things because that is where we are familiar. The mind has a tricky game it plays where we convince ourselves that something wasn’t as bad as we thought or that we are safer with the known instead of venturing our. We have to reconcile and learn to accept that not all things are meant to stay the same. We are meant to grow and evolve and that means things will look different and we will get different perspectives—the alternative is stagnation.
We can’t confuse the idea that there is something noble in keeping things the same. We have put meaning into tradition that doesn’t necessarily translate to today. People aren’t necessarily hoping for the things to happen that way again, they are looking for familiarity and comfort that comes with what is known. We can’t see the future and that gets scary, so we seek the same thing. We can’t undergo the process of change by doing the same things—we will simply end up with the same results. Growth isn’t easy and no one ever said that our job was to keep life the same. We kept it the same because we were familiar with it. The further we are from how it “used to be” the more uncomfortable we feel. But here’s the thing: No one ever said life would be the same as we progress, they just said it would be ok. The most important thing to remember is this: Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s not ok. The mind has a tendency to equate change with danger wo we need to remind ourselves that all is well and anything we experience is part of the plan.
So allow change and work on the perspective that change is by definition destructive. In that destruction we find growth and peace. Life isn’t about seeking comfort. Life gives us the choice to honor our true needs and pursue our goals and just because they go a different way or take place at a different time than we thought doesn’t mean it’s wrong. We are meant to create, we aren’t meant to “be ok,” we are meant to live. We have to realize that life is simply ok as it is: it isn’t meant for us to change the plan. It’s messy and bumpy and can get scary at times, but who are we to say that we need a smooth road to make progress. We can’t control the path, we can control how we navigate it. Giving up control is one of the hardest things to do. But finding control over our thoughts is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. It’s all ok.
I want to share a small but potent reminder today that continues on our theme of honoring our capacity and needs. I want to emphasize one thing we haven’t talked about yet: When we quit all together. It’s easy to confuse the need to rest with the idea that we have to stop altogether. Throw in a society craving instant results/gratification with constant exposure to distractions of all kinds, and we set up a perfect recipe for believing we need to stop when we don’t and confusing the signs. Sometimes life isn’t telling us to stop, it’s telling us to balance and refocus and we need to know the difference. Most importantly, we need to know that most of the time the universe is putting things in our path that will help us achieve the overall goals. An obstacle is meant to train us, not deter us. Know the difference. Remember that we are often so much closer to the goal than we think. Don’t give up, GET up. Decide and keep doing, be stronger, turn the struggle to strength, let it breakdown so we can break through.
As I work through the process of goal setting and aligning with self/source/purpose, I know one thing for sure: I don’t want to look back and regret not following through on something. Admittedly there is already a ton I wish I had seen through better. I made decisions based on feelings in the moment and lack of trust that I had the capability to do what was asked. I didn’t think I deserved the things I wanted because it was clear in my family that those things needed to be earned. Now I know that isn’t true and I do regret letting certain things go because I stopped and didn’t know how to get up. No one needs to look back and wish they had done something different, something more, something aligned with who they are. Take the time to discover that sense of self now. Take the time to honor those boundaries without giving into old habits. Make the decision to stop and be comfortable with it or make the decision to keep going and see how far we can go.
Following up on our conversation yesterday about following the seasons and knowing ways to recharge ourselves, we need to discuss the purpose behind those seasons. We ended talking about how there is a time to let the fruit grow, a time to harvest it, and a time to let that field lay fallow. There is also a need for the ebbs and flows we talk about. The truth is there is more momentum generated from the ups and downs than there is from the flat road. We need to have an appreciation for each stage of the journey because it’s all getting us where we need to be—each stage has a purpose. Everything is setting us up for something greater. It may seem easy or logical to give up when we are in the middle of change or intense effort that doesn’t seem to get us anywhere—and I won’t deny that there may well be a time when we need to walk away from certain things. But we need to understand that in many of those moments, we don’t really need to give up: we simply need to recharge.
Life moves forward no matter what we do and we have the choice to move with it or to get rolled over by it—or to do the rolling over. Before deciding to quit we need to have an honest look at the situation. Do we actually need to stop, or do we really just need a rest? Do we need to rest or do we need to shift focus for a little while so we can allow growth in the area that seems to be giving us trouble. The areas that seem to be stagnant may just need to haver refocused effort on cleaning up. Once it’s clean, then we may need to let things settle before we can move forward again. But I want to be clear: the concept of pushing doesn’t work. Yes, there is constant movement because nothing truly stops—there is purpose in waiting. But going against the natural call of things causes more damage than it makes progress. What does work is tending and attentiveness and awareness. Purposeful movement and purposeful rest helps.
The point is to honor the need in the moment. We can keep clearing the space while we let the creative engines recharge—in fact in many cases we need to let them recharge. No one can be in a constant state of “on”. Think of how exhausting that is—and how illogical. We drain ourselves faster that way. Throw in people pleasing and anxiety/add and it gets even more draining. That’s a lot of mental energy and external focus to make things balance how we think they should. Sometimes all the universe, the natural plan so to speak, really wants for us is to be clear on where we are going, to put in the effort to support that, and honor how we feel in the moment. Knowing limits is as important as knowing how to let them go. The most important thing is to remember that there is a time for everything and it will all happen in its time—not on our schedule. Our job is to align and allow. That is the fastest way for things to fall in to place.
When we talk self-care it’s important to remember the value of all stages of the cycle: Idea generation and creative thought, belief and confidence, excitement and preparation, movement and execution, completion and evaluation, self check-in and rest. Aside from the physical effort, there is an emotional process that goes along with this as well. We are trained to keep moving forward no matter what, that the only value we have is in our productivity (see last week’s post about everyone having value). The human body, mind, soul (whatever you believe in) isn’t designed to be in a state of productivity at all times. The mind needs to rest and recharge and recuperate as much as the body. Between the physical and emotional, there is a need to find a way to put the energy back into our bodies as much as we have a need to discharge that energy. The question is how often do we recharge ourselves? Where in life can we recharge? Those moments when we think we can’t move on are the times we need to dig deep and ask if it’s a matter of pausing, depletion, or recharging.
This world, this society, whatever you want to call the human group at large, will try to convince us of our need to be in constant motion, the need to produce, the need to prove worth and our earning power (whether monetarily or from accolades). There are times we must push through and do the work even when we don’t feel lie it. But there are times we need to stop. It doesn’t just need to be a physical recharge, sometimes we need a mental recharge as well. We need to check in spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, socially, interpersonally, intra-personally, creatively, and probably even more ways than that. Each one has a different need to satisfy and will require a different way of recharging. Knowing how to do that and what works for each of us takes time and practice. Further, the way we recharge for each of those areas looks different for each of us but the goal is the same: to establish awareness of our needs and establish balance back in our lives.
Life won’t always be a perfect play of things working out, a constant perfect awareness and alignment with who we are, or a win every second of every day. It is a perfect alchemical amalgamation of ebbs and flows in all areas. We need to taste the highs and lows and experience the learning process of this game. We are meant to tap int the source within each of us and allow what we need to do to happen. There is a season for everything and a cycle we all follow. The more aligned with the seasons and our personal cycles, the easier it is to tap into those ebbs. It’s finding the area that needs attention and working on that in the moment—that requires presence and self-awareness. It’s knowing that everything has a season of bearing fruit, a season to harvest the idea, and a season where the field lays fallow. During the downtime is when we do the work in other areas and figure out how to replenish the fuel of wherever we feel stuck or drained. Ask what it needs. Pushing or pulling or simply letting it be. The truth is we feel infinitely better when we honor the phases of the cycle. Find a way to check in and see how we can recharge a little bit.
Today I am grateful for the infinite patience of the universe/source. I haven’t shared much of my views on faith. The truth is it’s an important topic to me but it’s also very touchy. I was the only one in my immediate family (aside from my father) who didn’t go to Catholic school or regularly attend church. The times I did go to church, I would often feel judged by the people—not in my belief, not in what I consider my higher power, but the people there. I used to go with my grandmother on the days she watched me early in the morning and I could see her doing the work, not because she believed in it, but because she was afraid. She wanted the peace, but it wasn’t there—she was afraid to trust. My grandfather was an incredibly devout man—NEVER preachy in the slightest but the man moved with such assurance and peace in everything he did that it was clear he was confident in his connection with his creator. I watched my grandfather die seemingly out of nowhere (in my mind) and it shook me to the core. With that being said, I had a tumultuous relationship with belief and faith. But as I’ve gotten older and been privileged to receive various miracles, I know something is there. No matter how angry I get, I know that every time I’ve been that frustrated, something has happened to assure me again. The universe has some divine order to it and I am grateful to continue to receive the signs that assure me it’s safe to trust and believe.
Today I am grateful for signs. Along with the patience of the universe come the signs I was talking about above. I am one of those people who believes that the universe sends us signals and messages about the path we are on, assurance that we are ok or a reminder that we need to get back on the path. We were at Costco the other day and I found a paperback copy of Dave Grohl’s book. I’ve been wanting it for a long time but never got it so when I saw the paperback and the price, I decided to take it. When we got in the car, I was apprehensive about having spent money so I scrolled through my phone while my husband drove. I came across a funny cat meme where it said, “Dave Grohl’s Cat.” My jaw hit the floor. It was within seconds, no longer than minutes from when I had had the thought. I took that as a clear indicator that I was meant to have that book and that everything will work out financially.
Today I am grateful for next steps. It has taken me a really long time to come to terms with a decision I’ve had to make at my 9-5. I’ve been open about not being happy in that environment for a long time but it has been difficult to make the decision to leave because I’ve been there for 18 years. That’s a long time to repeat the patterns and a long time to put up with crap that won’t change—and in some instances will get worse. There is too much contradiction in the corporate world. Telling us we need to cut back labor costs while spending millions on other projects, and spending an insane amount of money on holiday treats. There is also such a constant level of low-lying tension that it makes it difficult to operate on a day to day basis because you never know what is needed at any given moment. Things happen in their own time and for good reason. An opportunity came my way and instead of shooing it away, I moved toward it. It’s time to move toward the life I want and release the past. It’s time to let go of what held me back—that’s like living two lives again. So, I’ve taken the next steps and I gratefully wait on the will of the universe.
Today I am grateful for new choices. We had a Costco spending day as I mentioned above. My husband went a little crazier than I did and I know I was stressed about how much he was spending. I had a few things I needed help with and I thought the priority should be on those but he decided to move forward with what he felt was important. My normal routine would be to spout some sarcastic comment to dig at him or to yell. Full transparency, I really wanted to. But I didn’t. I held my tongue and decided that the way forward would be to continue walking through. Focus on the goal and not where we are at. Believe that all is well and we are right where we need to be. He didn’t say a word but I know he was waiting for me to freak out. It’s time I stop freaking myself out and just live. All is well and I made the choice to keep the peace in that moment rather than spoil it.
Today I am grateful for family. Specifically the family we make/choose. I’ve shared several stories about difficulties my husband and I have had with forming relationships with other couples. We’ve formed a very close relationship with several couples and it has been incredible. These are people who truly understand us. They have been dealt a hand and it has made them resilient and level and capable of dealing with any of the day to day stuff that would freak me out. The support they offer is amazing and it is such a feeling of safety and love with them. It’s something I love to reciprocate. There is something so nice about caring for those who love us. I know that I couldn’t get through most of my days without their help or the knowledge that they are there for me, that I am accepted as I am, that I am understood. I am grateful to feel at home in my skin and with them and in our homes 😊
The Intentional Dreamer 