Today I am grateful for miracles.  I spent the majority of my life trying to control outcomes—how things happen, when they happen, working extra hard to make it happen, planning every detail so things would go exactly how I thought they should.  I never considered that it wasn’t my job to do all the work for everything I wanted.  I knew with absolute certainty that I was responsible for making things happen.  I never considered that I didn’t have to do so much, I just needed to put the intention out there and enjoy, things could come to me in their own way.  Lately, I’ve had little say in things, some by choice, others not so much.  I see that things still unfold and certain events that I’ve been working toward are coming together while others seem further away.  The ones that are coming together seem to have little to do with what I’m pushing for and the things I’m pushing seem to run away.  I don’t know, maybe as I’m getting older I’m seeing things more clearly.  But I’ve been on the receiving end of seeing how things will come together or fall apart with or without our participation.  I am grateful for both scenarios.

Today I am grateful for time.  I spent the last week off of work and it was exactly what I needed.  I needed time to work on my projects, to center my mind a bit, to organize my life a bit more.  I did all of that and more.  I took my time to do things I love, to expand some other practices, and to develop some of my projects.  Doing all that work allowed me to prioritize things and come up with some sort of idea of what I need to do moving forward—or at least what I want to do moving forward.  I haven’t had dedicated time to myself to think in a while, I’ve just been on this hamster wheel of the same routine.  Doing the same things every day won’t get us where we want to be and that includes thinking the same thoughts.  Spending time finding things that feel better, that align better, that I can prioritize better simply made sense.  While not all the stress is away, I am certainly feeling better than I was.

Today I am grateful to let go.  This is a tough one for me and one I think I will be working on for a while.  As I said above, I’ve spent a lot of my life controlling the outcome.  If I wanted something, I thought I had to make it happen.  I’m not talking in the context of what I’ve shared here over the years as far as setting an intention and doing the work that gets us there.  I’m talking about putting people in their place and making things go exactly a certain way and if anything derailed, I would derail as well—vocally, loudly, and dramatically.  In the course of this week off, my son had one of the worst melt downs I’ve ever witnessed.  He had been super clingy and emotional and was for a lot of the week and it finally boiled over.  It was in that moment I flashed back to myself at his age and I knew I had to stop everything I’ve been doing with him.  I thought I’d been more progressive and attentive than my parents and here the cycle was repeating—loudly and emotionally.  It was in that moment I saw the pressure I have been putting on my family, the two people closest to me.  I had a wonderful conversation with my husband about it and I apologized.  I felt like I could see the stress melt off of him.  The pressure was unintentional and my intensity stemmed from having so many things I want to do and fear of not being able to—it had nothing to do with wanting them perfect.  So, presence is key.  Joy is key.  I have to trust more.  Let go.

Today I am grateful for avenues opening up.  I received an offer this week and I’ve been teetering on the edge of taking it or not.  This offer is something I’ve dreamed of for a long time but it isn’t quite in the package I imagined it would be.  Given the context of not forcing things to happen, this felt forced because it originated from my outreach.  Now, I’m incredibly grateful for it because it has shown me without a shadow of doubt that I have potential where I’m going but I’m worried because this wasn’t organic.  It took me digging, organizing a phone call, and will require additional resources from me up front outside of my work.  I wasn’t prepared for the terms of the return, either.  So this is an opportunity and one way that I CAN go about achieving my goal, but it feels like a moment when I also have the opportunity to get honest and ask if this is exactly what I want.  Is this exactly what I envisioned when I put this idea out there?  Do I want to act out of fear of missing out because I’m afraid to wait for my vision to come together how it should?  As it happens I’m reading Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza and he shared the story of his daughter manifesting a trip to Italy.  She found an option of a way to get there that wasn’t quite right and he challenged her to align more, not to accept it if it wasn’t exactly what she wanted.  She did just that and shortly after the EXACT thing she wanted appeared.  So perhaps this is an opportunity for me to get even more clear, have faith, and wait for it to come to me with a more precise vision.  I’m still grateful for the option because the work has merit and I needed to know that. 

Today I am grateful for timing.  The last few days of my time off didn’t go exactly how I thought they would.  I ended up with a bit of a cold and was knocked out for a couple of days.  To be honest, most of the week didn’t go as I planned.  I finally gave up trying to make it go how I had thought it should go because I was wearing myself out.  As soon as I stopped all the doing and started listening to what my body was telling me, to what my heart was telling me, I started feeling better.  My husband and son also seemed to have a better time as well.  We ran into my brother and he was so happy.  He just happened to be leaving his house exactly as we were pulling up and he told us to come with him.  I easily could have said no to going to see him, and I easily could have said no we can’t go because we had just come from where he was going—but something told me to just say yes.  To just allow it.  We did and it was amazing.  We had a wonderful morning together.  Had we been a few minutes earlier or later, we wouldn’t have seen him—the universe indeed has its plans. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.      

During a meeting with one of my team members the other day, I found myself repeating the phrase, “I just have to do x (fill in whatever x may be to move forward in the business),” over and over again.  I’d listened carefully on our call the week before and was feeling both guilty and excited about the momentum of the team, but I saw the way things could work out if I made some changes—that’s all I was trying to convey.  My teammate told me to stop looking at all of the things we “should” be doing and do what has been working.  She reminded me that I’ve had some success in the work and that those are the things I should focus on.  Yes, everything else the team talked about should be banked for reference as tools to use at some point, but for now, just get the ball rolling with what works.  When we know what works for us, it’s easier to build confidence and to stay off the fence (like we talked about yesterday).    

She also said when we do what works for us, what has brought us success, that’s enough.  We don’t need to be measured by someone else’s stick.  We need to measure how we feel and what we’ve given and how we move forward.  Stay focused, stay the course.  Remember what we’ve accomplished and how we got there and look at how we can do that again.  Replicate what works for us and success will come.  It isn’t about doing exactly what other people tell us, it’s about following our feelings and instincts.  Some people branch out quickly, others focus on one area.  The ones with a lot of success take their experiences and figure out ways to help others, they aren’t afraid to invest in themselves and trust their stories, to use those stories as leverage.  Sharing the human experience is an incredibly powerful thing and we have more in common with people than we don’t. 

We don’t need to spend our time with excessive doing.  This is the opposite of what we talked about with sitting on the fence—there are times we try to do too many things at once, thinking that we need to do more.  There is a sweet spot between sitting on that fence and doing all the things—and that is right where we accept ourselves and do what works for us.  That is where trust develops for us.  The key to trusting others is to know how to trust ourselves first.  When we take on all the things, it tends to come from a place of proving, but when we do all of that “doing,” we lose as much momentum as doing nothing because eventually the overwhelm leads us to do nothing.  So when we are clear, focused, and assured of our direction, we know how to discern that spot.  So do more of what works, it can only open the door to more success. Remember, success looks different for everyone–so do what works for us.

“When you’re on the fence, just do it,” Shaun T.  We’ve talked about leaning in to how we feel, pausing to ask ourselves how we feel, and the difference between nervous and excited.  The mind isn’t very good at discerning how we feel—more often than not we need to spend some time interpreting that.  This is why we have to trust our instincts and our bodies.  We know more than we think we do, we are simply trained to ignore what we know.  When we face a decision and the outcome can go in either direction, or we feel an affinity toward either side, or even if it is between stop and go, the truth is we really should just leap.  We can sit on the sidelines as long as we want but that won’t give us any results.  The only wan to know is to do.  We can’t get lost in potential outcomes, or hypotheticals, because the mind can play out a bunch of scenarios—and that isn’t always a good thing because of our negativity bias.  So there comes a point where we have to eschew the consequences and just go with it, especially if there is a glimmer of hope in whatever it is.  Sometimes even the smallest inkling that something is exciting or feels right is all we need.

When we spend too much time in what if, we deny ourselves the opportunity to grow.  We deny ourselves the experience of whatever may come from trying.  As someone who spent a lot of time on the sidelines out of fear, I can tell you this feeling sucks—not only is it like missing out on things, but there are times I don’t feel equipped to make decisions or take action because I don’t know what to do.  And sitting on the sidelines diminishes our ability to trust ourselves, to follow our instincts.  The world preys on that because those who don’t know what they want can be easily swayed toward what others tell them to want.  It’s the game of distraction and the only one that benefits is not us.  Whether it’s because we think we can’t do it or because we are thinking too much, we can’t think ourselves out of the situation.  Sometimes the only way through, the only way to get clarity is simply to do it, no matter how scary the leap is.  Marie Forleo says clarity comes from action, not thought, so the days we aren’t feeling like we can do it, we simply need to do the thing.  Even if we can’t bring ourselves to do the actual thing, we need to do something and trust that no matter what happens, we can handle it.

There is no need to fear the doing because the truth is we will never know what happens until we actually do it.  We can spend time worrying but it won’t get us anywhere—that’s an action of the mind.  It’s up to us to take the mind and put the body to work.  To take the ideas and bring it to reality.  We’ve talked about the body before and how the mind has trouble distinguishing between nervous and excitement.  There truly is no physiological difference between the two.  That means if we choose to put excitement into action we can move forward.  If we choose to stay in fear, we close ourselves off to what may come of it.  Don’t allow thought to stop us.  If there is a thought telling us that this might be what we need to do even if it seems scary, remind ourselves that the thigs that scare us are often what we need to do to grow.  Move forward and do the damn thing.  The mind will tell us every story we can think of based on our experience and knowledge base—that doesn’t make it true.  The only thing that’s true is what comes from taking the leap.  Don’t miss out by allowing “what if” to stop us.            

I love seeing my husband become himself.  This isn’t something I thought I would be happy about because I’ve experienced a different side of this.  When my husband was out to find himself down other avenues as we’ve grown together, it has nearly always ended in some type of trouble, normally financially related.  He has a tendency to think that the answer is always in acquiring and spending and then not wanting to take responsibility for it.  But this time is completely different.  Yes, he is still spending money but he is much more thoughtful about it.  The thing that is really important this time around is that he has found a group of people with a different set of values—and a clear set of values—that seems to be shifting him.  And he seems to have found his niche.  My husband has always had the ability to be at home literally anywhere he goes.  He is an adapter and he is REALLY good at connecting with people and it has always made me a bit jealous, but this again is a different awareness of himself, of his abilities.  It’s like something triggered in his primal brain about being able to provide and he is proud that he recognizes he has been able to do it all along. 

While I can’t say I’m for the action of what he’s doing (he’s hunting so it makes me a bit sad for the animals), I know this is something he genuinely enjoys and he loves the people he is doing it with. It makes me feel really good seeing him do something he enjoys because I’m not sure he ever found what he liked.  He spent so much time numbing himself in unhealthy ways that he never took the time to find that thing that brought him joy.  I feel like he never wanted to do that because he was afraid he’d never get it.  Now he sees more of what he is capable of.  He is learning to trust and that means learning to trust himself too, seeing what he is capable of doing, that he can build the life he wants.  Learning new things about the person he wants to be.  That is 100% worth it. It really is a beautiful thing to see someone come into their own and find their element, their niche.  Confidence is a sexy thing and it’s contagious.         

It makes me want to be the person I want to be as well.  Stop playing small or holding myself back.  Fear is a bitch, anxiety is obnoxious, and insecurity is a bastard.  Those things are the killers of any dream or any happiness.  That’s the whole point—we have to learn to trust ourselves in spite of (and because of) our fear, anxiety, and insecurity.  All it takes is actively getting out there and doing the work to see what we want to do and what we are capable of doing.  When we do that work, it shines a light for others to do the same, it inspires others to do the same. So in finding ourselves, we are helping others find their way as well. We are helping people be who they are meant to be, help them feel better, help them feel supported.  Help people find what they want in life and be a resource to help them get there.  So as selfish as it may sound at times, watching him is a reminder to keep myself on the right track as well. We all need reminders that we can do it.  It’s ok to need that reminder every now and then.  The key is to take that reminder and take action on what we want.  Roy Bennet says, “Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life.  Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance”.  Don’t be afraid to be the light for someone else, and don’t be afraid to ask to sit in someone’s light for a while—the candle doesn’t dim when we light someone else’s, the light gets brighter.

When respect is no longer being served it’s time to walk away.  We just need to have faith and strength to do the walking.  This coincides with what I was talking about in gratitude yesterday, and these are habits that we all need to develop and skills that will serve us in so many ways.  I wish I could say that this happened overnight, that I knew I was being treated poorly and simply walked away.  That’s not how it went.  It was a slow detachment and something I am still learning to do.  Humans are pretty good at recognizing when something is off but we aren’t always discerning on pinpointing what the exact issue is or knowing how to resolve it.  Additionally our relationship with ego is often tenuous at best.  We fixate on being the best and being right and that deters from doing what is right, including what is right for ourselves.  There is some irony in there that we protect our egos but engage in the very behavior that can cause harm to our character.  This isn’t about people placating wants, it’s about respecting each other as humans and allowing people to be who they are without judging what works for them.  We can’t control anyone around us, so what we need to do is look at our patterns and habits, both in what we do and what we attract.  That’s all we have control over, our own actions.  That’s when we can start doing some work on who we are—and it does take work.  Developing awareness always does. 

One, to break the habits we have to be entirely conscious and aware of when we fall back into them.  It’s uncomfortable and can be challenging at times to stop an engrained pattern when you’ve already been triggered to repeat it.  Two, learning the new pattern takes time, dedication, and patience because it is new.  It hasn’t had time to solidify in our minds as the natural response to our stressors and when we are under stress, we will naturally fall to our engrained habits/thoughts.  Three, while breaking habits and patterns or jumping into something new, we will all face a period where we are still somewhat reliant on the old ways whether financially/emotionally and the new quite literally can’t support us yet—for me, it was the financial crutch of needing a 9-5 but knowing that I had to break out into something more even though I couldn’t afford to not work.  I wasn’t rolling in the money by any means, but I definitely needed that income.  What we need to understand is that sometimes it isn’t that the new can’t support us, it’s that we haven’t developed legs that can stand on the new ground yet.  It’s kind of like sea legs.  We’ve been on a boat that someone else is steering for so long and they’ve chartered us through the roughest of seas.  We may have even had to jump off and swim to shore.  When we hit land, it can feel uncertain and scary and we need to learn to navigate our way around, trust ourselves to survive and make our way, and learn that not only can we stand on our own, we can run.

We often mistake respect as an issue with authority or hierarchy.  We perceive people as in a higher position than us or we fear what they can do to us or we are born into a system that prioritizes certain people over others.  The truth is respect is about allowing life to happen.  It’s about removing our personal expectations on other people and allowing them to be who they are.  When we have people who work to constrain us in any way or those that hold us to unrealistic expectations, they are demonstrating they are less interested in the value we can add as ourselves and more interested in the value we can add to their agenda.  People who use other people to fulfill their agenda with no regard for whether or not their interests align do not respect the humanity of others.  This isn’t to say that we don’t all need help at times, it is to say that we don’t hold an expectation of someone else to be a certain way when they are not that, and we don’t berate them when we realize they aren’t that way.  When we are at a table where there is no respect, where we are being constricted into something unrecognizable, yes, we indeed must walk away.  We must shed that version that wants approval and simply begin the work of detachment.  Work on developing our own strength, our own skills, finding our own interests and when we follow that, we find purpose.  When we find purpose we are unstoppable.  Keep focused and stay the course.  Have enough respect for ourselves to do what we need to do for our own wellbeing.  Honor who we are and leave behind what isn’t serving.

You’re not going to stop the train but we can shift the track.  As someone with ADD I realized that I spent a lot of energy on trying to control the thoughts themselves, like when they would come, when they would go.  I realized that in my entire life I can’t recall a time when I didn’t have something racing through my mind, usually multiple things at the same time.  I am not exaggerating when I say there were literally moments I couldn’t keep up with my own brain.  Completely unrelated things all running at the same time.  I share this because I so often compared this to multiple trains running through my mind at the same time.  Honestly that’s how the behavior of stopping the trains started.  I couldn’t stand that my thoughts not only came and went so fast but that I couldn’t follow enough of them to make a decision or hear anything really coherently in my head.  I think that’s why writing helped—it would at least sort of kind of narrow my focus.  Regardless, it took me my entire adult life up to this point to look at this differently: I can’t stop the train—the thoughts will ALWAYS come, and really that’s a good thing because if those thoughts stop, we’re dead—but I can shift the track.

Yes, it’s similar to what I talked about with steering our ship by directing our sails, but this is more important than that.  This is the channeling of energy.  It’s not just the focus, it’s the learning and harnessing the ability to not get run over by our own thoughts.  When we shift the track, it can be as simple as changing perspective.  All we have to do is understand these thoughts aren’t out to harm us and they can only harm us if we allow it.  Our thoughts are nothing more than markers, indicators of where we are—more like a guidepost.  If we are consistently thinking something not aligned with what we feel or if those thoughts creep up, then it’s a reminder to pause and see where that’s coming from—are we in an environment we aren’t used to, are we stepping into something uncomfortable?  If that is the case then we need to take it as a good sign that we have the ability to pause and redirect the course of those thoughts—and no matter what, we don’t have to believe them. 

The other part of this that feels more complicated to explain (for me at least) is that the idea of stopping the train seems to come with so much force.  Like we have the ability to stop our natural functions, one of the very indicators we are alive.  At the same time, we do need to be aware of how to direct our thoughts so there does seem to be an element of control.  And still at the same time we have to discern how to go with the flow and allow—to lean into what IS.  I think the reason this is so complicated is because we are trying to equate a feeling to an action.  We know what it feels like to be in flow and to steer the direction, to make choices.  But we can’t actively describe how we do it.  It’s a feeling, not an action.  It’s a presence and an interaction with energy.  A decision and acceptance.  The point of working with our mind and our feelings is never about forcing them to go a certain way, it’s knowing how to discern which thoughts we entertain.  And as we make those choices, the focus becomes clear.  It’s not about stopping anything, it’s about what we choose to entertain with our responses.  THAT we have control over. So don’t make the goal be about stopping anything-make it about understanding and learning to follow the feelings we want.  

Written the other day when falling into old habits at work:  I feel a groove, a dance I do where I am rubbed raw and THEN flow.  I find myself doing things I hate doing on autopilot and with incredible ease and efficiency and clarity—but it’s only after doing what I hate to fit in and be accepted.  The only way I can fit through (fit in) is through wearing away and cutting off parts of myself.  This isn’t a dance I created, it’s the dance I was put into and programmed to do.  I’m tired of my edges being dulled so I can fit in or to gain praise/attention/accolades.  Just because I CAN do it doesn’t mean I SHOULD.  Loving myself means saying yes AND no.  Fine, I fit in, but what did it take?  What did I lose to get here?  What parts of me had to be worn away for the sake of someone telling me my ideas or even my identity is worthy?  What do I gain from doing that?  It seems some pretty significant chunks of my personality, talent, and creativity were worn away over time.  That spark has never been dulled, the spark of creativity, the spark telling me to move forward and do the creative work in my life.  But there seems to be a little less material to work with at times.  I’ve lost the essence of who I am in the process of finding acceptance outside. 

What good is the groove, what good is doing a dance that I don’t even understand (or care to do)?  What good is fitting in if I lost MY rhythm?  What good is fitting in if I was only fitting into what others expected of me?  What good is fitting in if it still isn’t my style in the end?  What good is fitting in if I still can’t stand the outcome?  What good is fitting in if I need to keep cutting away at pieces of me over time until there is nothing left?  I am not here to make myself small so other people are comfortable with me.  I am not here to make myself palatable or easy to manage.  I am not here to give myself up or to give up on myself for the sake of someone else using me as a doormat. (not the same as not helping others, just not going to erase who I am so someone else can succeed over me—their dreams are no more or less important than mine). The groove becomes a rut when we lose sight of ourselves or when we have made ourselves so small that we can’t hear our own voices.  That is dangerous territory because we risk losing ourselves entirely. 

This is when we have to stop the music, stop the noise we hear from the outside (like David Goggins says) and focus on doing the work, our work.  We focus on creating the steps we need to take to achieve our goals.  The more steps we take, the more we help others find their rhythm, we find our own.  We find our creativity, we find what is aligned with who we are, and we put in the work.  We choreograph a new dance, we find the ladder, and we move out of the groove/hole we dug for ourselves.  That groove was never a place to dance, it was a place to wear us down and keep us stuck.  As we climb out of it and learn to hear our own rhythm again, we feel complete and light and we are able to share that with others.  The impact of finding our flow isn’t just for us, it’s for how we interact with the world and inspire others to do the same for themselves.  This world is waiting for our love to light the way, for us to love ourselves enough that we can love others.  For us to be the conduits of an energy that drives us toward something higher—for everyone.  Step away and into the rhythm of what we are meant to do and all becomes clear.  

Today I am grateful for examples of what I want to be.  I have to acknowledge the power of the universe as far as putting us in the right place at the right time, divine timing really.  I met with my team/mentors the other night and they had a group of people sharing their stories/successes with the business.  All of the women presenting exuded exactly the type of confidence and assurance and knowledge that I’ve aspired to have.  They say that we attract what we put out to the universe, that our energy/vibration is recognized and returned to us.  So if I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by the exact type of people I aspire to be, then perhaps I am on the right wavelength as it is.  I am grateful for this because these women have also achieved things that I hadn’t considered and it is quite inspirational, something to aspire to further in my business.  They always keep the focus sharp, they are always working on self-improvement through learning, they always keep their ears and eyes open for opportunities.  This is truly exactly what I want to do—to help people, to become a resource, and to use that knowledge to help.  How beautiful to have those living examples right at my fingertips. 

Today I am grateful for reminders that even in the darkest of times, even from the darkest situations, people can still become more.  It takes work to shed the old and to step into the new.  It takes discipline and dedication and determination.  But if we focus and tend to what we are called to do, we become limitless.  When we learn to say yes to the things that scare us, coupled with the work, when we follow our instincts, we always end up exactly where we need to be.  I got all of that from watching a show about a family in some really down and out situations, things they have continuously put themselves through because of their choices/addictions etc.  They each experience an evolution of becoming, learning to stand on their own feet, firm in their decisions.  They each reach a dark point in their lives, and they learn to work with what they have to make themselves better.  They learn not only to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, but to turn themselves into something more.  They embrace who they are, even the darkest parts, and they run with it. 

Today I am grateful for becoming my own person.  Again, from watching this show, the children all learn to do better than what their parents did for them.  Not that my parents did anything wrong by me, but in this show, they all undergo a burning desire to be something more and then they each take the leap toward the decisions they make.  They only do this after reaching what would be considered a rock bottom in their lives.  The whole point of life is to grow even if that means surpassing the expectations and habits of those who brought us into the world.  We are all limited by our experiences and beliefs and it is our job to expand that, to release the fears of those around us, to welcome and develop who we are.  To step into who we are.  The other day I had been looking around my home feeling some guilt—my parents provided so much for me materially, but they stunted themselves.  The constantly got to the precipice of moving into something more (bigger house, better career, even better finances with long term security, etc.).  They were always one choice away from changing it all.  As I’ve been trying to take those steps, I’ve felt the fear of the unknown.  This was unchartered water in every respect.  I also felt guilt, like I was leaving them behind.  The truth is life is constantly moving forward, and no matter what we do, we will all be left behind at some point.  Our parents, grandparents, all of our relatives will die one day.  We will die one day.  We need to push forward on our own paths because we are meant to grow on our own, not on the same branches of someone who doesn’t have the capacity to go where we are meant to go.      

Today I am grateful for understanding.  I mean understanding in terms of the growth mentioned above, and in terms of what actions to take.  Growth isn’t to say that we are any better or worse than those who came before us, it is to take the information they have shared with us and expand it.  We aren’t necessarily leaving anyone behind, we are incorporating their information and they nurture that growth.  People all do the best they can with what they have/know.  We aren’t always able to bring those with us if they aren’t willing to undergo the transformation it takes to get to the next level.  It’s hard to accept losing people in that fashion, even more so when we see their capacity and potential and they don’t.  But the other part of this understanding is learning to accept that and learning to accept that we have a choice.  We can choose to limit and stay behind, or we can choose to step forward.  I’ve had to reconcile a relationship with authority with my own desire for autonomy.  The other day I took a firm step toward autonomy and chose myself.  Every instinct I have was telling me to do it and normally I would talk myself out of it—but this time, I simply did it.  No permission, just action.  It felt amazing.

Today I am grateful for centering and action.  When we take divinely guided action, it feels amazing.  The assurance, the confidence, the empowerment from action is unlike anything else—and when we do that based on an instinct, it feels even better.  We learn to trust ourselves by taking chances and learning what we are capable of.  We become who we are through what we do.  Through the belief that what we want is possible and then doing that.  This isn’t something I’ve mastered by any means, I’m still working on it.  But I’ve had miraculous glimpses into it, and the more I practice it, the more it seems to come.  The quieter we get, the more we hear the inner workings of our connection to what makes us, us.  We can want it with all of our might and nothing will happen without the action to back it up.  Just make sure we are aligned with what our truest purpose is, and trust ourselves enough to follow that path. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

Color we crazy did a reading from Tich Naht Hahn’s How to Fight. Hahn says, “Many conflicts and fights come about because we are so sure of our thoughts and perceptions.  We should not be too sure of our own ideas.  Do not be fooled by our perceptions.  Even if we are sure we are seeing clearly, check again. Keep an open mind, be ready to let go of our views.  The same applies to how we see each other in the world.  Have we understood the situation clearly?  We have a responsibility to see the situation accurately. Not colored by the lens of fear or the discriminating mind.  Clear, unbiased observation and loving speech can contribute greatly to building connection and removing anger, hatred, and discrimination.”  So many of the issues we have in this world stem from the idea that there is only one or two ways to do things: 1. The way they’ve always been done 2. Our own way (meaning my way or the highway).  It becomes a game of who is right rather than what is right—but who makes the determination on what is right to begin with?  Is the frog wrong for eating the fly?  The fly is simply doing what it does, does it need to die?  And the frog too does what it does—it needs to eat to survive.  Where would these instincts come from if they weren’t right?  So are we wrong for defending what we know?   

Beyond the idea of being right or wrong, we need to ask further: Is our perception always right?  Our thoughts and beliefs color our responses to others behavior so the short version is, No. Did we see what we thought we saw?  Is it possible we didn’t see what we think we saw?  There is a critical difference between fact and what we tell ourselves happened.  We are instinctual beings trained to ignore instinct and we operate in survival mode—but survival means something so different these days.  It’s about survival of the ego.  So when we fight, we aren’t fighting for anything beyond the SELF.  When we learn to fight for something and with someone rather than against someone, that fight changes to something else.  We have to let go of the self in order to fight for what is right. So much more often than we think, we are able to reach a resolution—we just have to be willing to look beyond what we know.  Accept that multiple things can be right at the same time. Let go.  Let GO of those perceptions and start thinking critically about what we can shift in ourselves to make it easier, not only for us, but for everyone. 

Fighting is a waste of time in the grand scheme of things.  I’m sure on some cosmic level, there is a goal, an endgame so to speak, but until we know what that is we are left to work with what we know and what we allow ourselves to learn.  We are here to expand and when we learn to look into other ways of thinking and believing, we certainly can feel discomfort.  Growth isn’t comfortable—and learning to negotiate the matters of truth and what we think the truth is only makes it harder to let go of what we know if we are stuck in ego.  Openness and objectivity is the key.  Look at the situation and don’t take it personally.  So much of what we internalize and take personally has nothing to do with us.  We simply need to be who we are and allow others to do the same.  Creating space for everyone is something we can all do.  Creating space and allowing room for interpretation and time to come to a conclusion makes it easier at the end of the day.  So. If we no longer want to fight, we have to manage our perceptions.  Take the time to ask what lenses we have on before any interaction.  Pause.  Then begin where we intend to come from. 

Another video about manifesting came up shortly after watching the one on ice cream.  This one spoke about manifesting tied to healing.  The more we work with and heal our respective wounded inner child, the easier manifesting becomes.  I know it may seem cliché, but the truth is we really do all have something inside of us that needs to be healed in order to move forward, and once we are healed, we are clear on where we want to go.  We need to make sure that wounded inner child understands and believes that we are worthy because that part of us, the subconscious/unconscious belief that we aren’t worthy of what we want is holding us back.  We need to learn to pull back to heal. So we start in the present with an idea of where we want to go.  We need to go back to heal, and then we can propel to the future.  This is similar to the action of the bow and arrow.  It is only through being pulled back that we have the momentum to move forward.  We only manifest that which we believe we are worthy of, so we need to do the work at the ground level, at the part of us that doesn’t think we are worthy.

I don’t want to overcomplicate this, especially after talking about the ice cream comparison yesterday.  But I need to be clear that the two ARE related.  As I just stated, we only manifest that which we believe we are worthy of—but also what we are capable of.  So, using the ice cream example—if we want the ice cream and we see it and know where it is at the store but we don’t think we can drive to get it, then we won’t get in the car to get to the store, so…no ice cream.  Or if we were taught that ice cream is something we need to earn, we will constantly look for ways to prove we have earned it.  If we are taught it’s bad, we will think it’s wrong for wanting it or that we are bad for wanting it. So…no ice cream.  But when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves (our self-image and our desires/values) and our abilities, we understand that we have the capability and the capacity to get behind the wheel and make an informed decision about the type and quantity of ice cream we want and then we simply get behind the wheel and confidently drive to purchase it.  So if there is any question on our ability to drive, take the time to figure out where that belief came from and heal it because as soon as we practice enough, we will be on our way to the store.

We tend to overcomplicate these emotions and more often than not it’s more about the path of least resistance.  We believe and do what we are most comfortable with.  Or we do what we believe we are most comfortable with.  We have the ability to do anything and we need to remember that we are able to change course at any time.  We are able to be who we are meant to be at any time.  We just have to decide.  The healing work is painful and I know that’s why I personally avoided it for so long.  I didn’t know what I would find.  I also frustrated myself with the idea that I had to be perfect, I didn’t want to go back because it felt like I was further and further behind every time.  And there was always more, always deeper I needed to go.  Digging deep hurts and it takes time.  But I will say, once I have reached the depths I didn’t want to go to, it did feel better.  That isn’t to say that I leapt forward immediately after that, but there is a point I know that I can’t go any further.  And it is then that I will fly forward and I will be unmatched.  The same is true for all of us.  Pull back the string and do the work and allow ourselves to be propelled forward.  Heal the past.  Be grateful for the present. Be accepting of the future.