Our brains are fascinating machines.  Biological computers that not only store and sort information, but they process data and support multiple systems and functions.  They allow for thought and movement and creation and order.  They can be a place of absolute chaos as well, there is no doubt about that. The brain is responsible for all function.  It’s amazing how a mass of matter with no way to move or protect itself, something that can’t live on its own outside of our bodies, is responsible for life as we experience it and perceive it.  The brain tells us our story, how we feel about it and how we navigate it.  Why do some people get to be the hero in their lives while others are their own worst enemy?  What makes some people capable of going after everything they want and others feel stuck in the mud?  At the end of the day, how does a blob that essentially sends neurological impulses (granted very complex impulses and functions) determine the course and quality of our lives? Through evolution we now have enough capacity in those impulses to ask those questions and even to find the answers.   

For as advanced as our brains our, sometimes the thoughts behind it aren’t quite so evolved.  Sometimes we forget that we have the ability to channel those thoughts and our focus and to manage our energy.  I spent a lot of my life sloppily navigating through the day, responding to the whims of my emotions, fearful of how people around me would treat me.  I created scenarios in my mind long before anything happened, trying to protect myself in whatever way I could.  I am not unique in that regard.  We can’t live in our heads.  I saw a reference to an old Malcolm In the Middle episode where Reese joins the army and he states that  he managed to complete all of his tasks perfectly because he stopped using his brain and just followed the steps he was given.  He said thinking is what caused all of his problems in life and that if he stopped using his brain he would be happy.  If he could stop thinking he’d be happy.  The scene/show itself is played out with facetiousness but the concept of not thinking and getting out of our heads struck me. 

I don’t advocate for mindlessly/blindly following anything—we were given the capacity to think and to have different thoughts and ideas from each other (as well as the ability to see different sides) and to discuss them—there is no reason why we should follow anyone without question or on someone else’s agenda.  But the part that we should consider/remind ourselves about from time to time is that the world happens outside of our head.  We can spin our thoughts any which way a million times over again, expending that energy doing nothing other than creating a scenario only we see in our minds.  We make up our minds before we even experience the thing.  Other times we confuse what’s happening with how we feel about it—feelings are not facts.  The fact is we may feel a certain way, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that’s what actually occurred, and we need to understand the difference.  Other times we feel like we need to know all the answers before we can do anything or we feel like we have to do all the things.  For as smart as we are, we aren’t omniscient.  It isn’t our job to get things perfect the first time out.  Sometimes we have to separate ourselves from what we are thinking and just get in the moment and do something.      

The brain is an amazing tool and it has the power to propel us forward or keep us frozen in place based on our thoughts.  It is capable of learning rules and systems in addition to its own innate functions and we can manage those rules.  We can add new input that changes the course of our lives and the course of others lives as well.  But we can’t get stuck in there.  Sometimes we have to accept what is and go with it, other times we can make some changes and try again, and other times we have to recognize when we are fighting a losing battle and change course entirely.  So while I don’t advocate for blindly following what people tell us to do or how we feel, I sincerely do advocate for learning when it’s appropriate to shut off for a while and simply go with what we have in front of us.  No analysis, no fear, no thought—just do it.  Just make a move and see what comes of it.  There comes a point where the only option we will have is to move.  We don’t have to know the outcome 20 steps from now, we simply have to be where we are and take the next step. Sometimes we just have to do and we are all the happier for it because we aren’t trapped in our minds.   

“Good Morning you brilliant beam of fucking sunshine.  Reminder not a single fuck should be given today got someone who doubted you? Smile and remind them I don’t just rise and shine, I fucking rule and conquer. Life’s short, be a legend so get out there and spread your special little flavor of fuckery because today the world is your stage. Fuck Yeah,” from Ferociouslyfemale.co.

This one is short and sweet and everyone needs to remember this immediately.  I know it says good morning and we are well into the evening but I feel like it’s still appropriate because the time of day we wake is irrelevant, especially if we are waking to ourselves.  That awakening can happen at any time.  Don’t ever let anyone convince us that we are less than brilliant.  Fuck them.  Live your life to the absolute fullest and never give up.  We don’t need to live up to what anyone tells us to do—we need to live our life and if someone can’t see the brilliance in it, then that is their problem.  Shine.  Don’t dim to appease someone else, don’t hide to make them stand out.  Stand entirely, completely, all the way on.  Be the light, be the sun, conquer.  Conquer the demons we have inside, conquer the doubt we allow to infiltrate us.  Conquer the voices that tell us we can’t do something.  Conquer the fear that makes us question if we should.  We most absolutely should.  Stepp up, step forward, step into it and turn ourselves all the way up.  The world can handle it—and those who can’t will fade away. Small minds limit big ideas.  Don’t let someone else’s small mind cap our big ideas—rather don’t let someone else’s small idea of who we are cap what we know we are meant for.  Be a legend.

Rea.Earth had a discussion about the correlation between financial stability and self-worth that I wanted to share.  She had some tidbits that particularly stood out, the most telling one is that our self-worth and ability to receive determines what we receive.  IF we don’t feel worthy and we consistently question our value, we aren’t open to receive.  She also said something that I hadn’t considered before: being open to receiving is being open to vulnerability.  We allow ourselves to be exposed when we share what we are looking for and that we are willing to take the chance to go for it.  When I heard that, all the discussions I’ve shared about taking the leap made more sense: when we take the leap we are incredibly vulnerable because we are showing what we want and if we miss it, we risk not getting it again, losing resources, whatever we put on the line to take that leap.  We don’t know if the juice is worth the squeeze so to speak. 

But when we know our value and trust that we will always receive what we are meant to have, that we are worthy of receiving, that becomes less scary.  Taking the leap doesn’t feel like a loss, it feels like an adventure.  We have trust in ourselves that we know what to do with what we have and that we have the ability to fulfill our purpose and use our power.  We know that we will put it to good use.  Worth is inherent, it isn’t granted by anyone on this planet and no amount of perceived power or judgment gives us the right to make someone feel like they need our appraisal to live. People can live how they want to live: we aren’t living their lives.  So that means in order to receive the life we want to live, we need to be open to accepting it.  That includes accepting the money for the work we do.  Our existence is valuable, our time is valuable.  We are worth more than the hourly wage we make 40 hours a week—there is no dollar amount on that.  There is no receipt for our lives. 

Take the time to remember that value and practice receiving.  Even if we have to work on the most basic tenant, like receiving a compliment.  Be honest. How often does someone say something like, “Your hair looks good today” or “That piece was really good” and we respond with a dismissive quip essentially saying it was nothing.  We don’t need to get all egoic about it and let it go to our heads—but we certainly can allow the praise into our lives and use it as fuel to continue doing what we love.  To continue on improving the things we love and sharing that with whoever we can.  We can extend our reach if we let go of what doesn’t work and accept the responsibility for the things that do work.  Not only are worthy, we are capable. That’s the crux of it: sometimes it isn’t even that we question our worth, we question our ability to handle what comes with that new sense of self.  But if we acknowledge our worth and value in the first place, there is nothing we can’t accept because we know it is meant for us and we wouldn’t have it if we weren’t.  The world gives us what we need without questioning our value—so don’t waste time questioning it either. 

Mel Robbins shares a concept about having the courage to end what no longer works.  Change is a large undertaking on many levels.  The impact is far and wide even if it’s only an impact to our world.  Again, that’s relative. Regardless of the impact, we have the opportunity to determine the amount of impact it has on our lives.  That’s brushing on emotional control again.  We get to decide what we let rock our world so to speak—whether positive or negative.  We choose what we allow to influence us.  So when we are accustomed to something in our lives or to behaving a certain way, engrained habits literally entrench themselves in our neural pathways until our lives, the things we do every day are nearly autonomic.  We live in a state of muscle memory to the point where even our thoughts are the majority the same each day.  So breaking that pattern absolutely takes courage.  It’s venturing into the unknown and learning new feelings, emotions, and reactions.  It’s creating new patterns and responses, understanding that there isn’t one right way for anything.

So when we approach the precipice where we know something is no longer working we have options.  Do we dive in and learn to swim in new waters?  Do we fight the current?  Letting something we can’t control consume us can be fatal—we may still be alive but are we actually living when we let the emotion swallow us up?  No.  The truth is this: ending something we are familiar with removes what we know.  It creates an unknown with options and things we may not fully understand and triggers fear for our safety.  So consciously choosing change is a brave undertaking.  It does require courage.  It requires a new way of living and thinking.  When we take that leap, the entire world feels different—and it is freeing.  All we can do in those moments is embrace it.  And even for the things we don’t choose, when the unexpected happens, we still have the choice to reorient and approach it in a healthier way.  We can dive into life or we can avoid it by pretending we are in control.  We always have options, even when it feels like we are up against a wall.  Just because one door is closed, it doesn’t mean we can’t create our own door.  Some paths require more work than others—but there is always a way if we are brave enough to pursue it.

“From what we get we can make a living, what we give, however, makes a life,” Winston Churchill.  We need a little reminder on priority right now.  Much of the world seems to have forgotten what it means to be human.  Emotion and feeling, while important, do not take precedence over the reality of what’s happening around us.  It’s so easy to look at the experience of the world and simply say, “Glad it wasn’t me.” We can be sad about it but we are more often just happy to have evaded the same fate as someone else.  What happens when it does happen to us?  Because we are only safe from that experience until the same thing happens.  I’ve experienced many instances where the weight of what was happening in my world was completely dismissed only to have the next person around me experience it and receive support I would have loved to have.  The point is we don’t experience life until we experience it.  We need to have the experience of something in order to give back and understand what is needed in a similar circumstance. 

Life, while extremely personal, is also incredibly interconnected.  We need each other and it isn’t about the size of our homes or our bank accounts—all of that is moot.  It is the extent of what we can build with each other, what we can create to make it better for more people.  I will tell you, I never felt more connected to those around me than this past Christmas while putting things together for everyone.  There was a presence in finding things for people and creating an experience for them.  That was 100% about giving something meaningful, making the entire experience meaningful.  This world changes quickly and the truth is we can lose everything in a blink.  We’ve created a volatile system and we rely on it too much.  What do we do when that system finally breaks?  All we will have is each other and the realization that we made it and now we have to find something else.  So why wouldn’t we make the most of every opportunity to be with the people who mean the most to us and to show them?  Show them how we feel while we still can.

Receiving for our efforts is great and that reward does feel good.  But when we see the spirit of someone else and we connect, we are able to open up a different type of experience.  We live differently when we shift our focus to what we can share rather than what we can get.  We see possibility in expansion rather than in hoarding what we have.  There will only ever be so much we can get but there is an infinite depth to what we can give.  Until we really know someone well enough to understand what they need, we aren’t living and until we can live and know what that feels like, no one will really understand us either.  We fill in the gaps with connection.  The feeling isn’t about what we are feeling but about how we are feeling.  Our emotions are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things—they are fleeting anyway.  But HOW we feel—do we feel healthy, happy, joyous etc.—is lasting.  We may not remember all the times we were angry or frustrated or when we got upset in traffic, but we will remember the look on someone’s face when we remembered them.  We remember how it feels to hug a loved one.  The visceral experience of exchanging life is unmatched by anything we have in our homes. That is a gift unmatched by anything we receive.

Do not be disturbed because in vulnerability we find strength. I’m not sure where I found this quote, I think I heard it in a reel.  It’s been playing in my head a lot lately as I’ve found myself in increasingly uncertain and vulnerable situations.  Like I’m in front of a precipice drawing ever nearer to the edge.  The truth is I’m not afraid—anxious and uncertain, yes—but not afraid.  It’s become increasingly clear that the world is on its head and that we are all seeking some sort of ground to stand on but we have no real clarity on where we are going.  We know the old isn’t working but we don’t have a plan in place to replace it yet.  So we can take this opportunity to be grateful.  To spend our time looking at what we have and expressing gratitude for it, for the presence in this life.  Look, I still have moments of doubt—doubt in faith, in myself, in what this reality is, whether or not I’m doing the right thing for myself and my family, doubt about who I am and my purpose and whether or not I can fulfill it, doubt as to whether or not I’m really supported and able to see what that purpose is.  I never understood why we would be set up with every opportunity to create success only to have that last step ripped away (it’s a pattern).  What I will admit is that there is strength in moving forward. 

Every time I/we hit the bottom of something there is always a moment of disbelief/despair.  The moment where we’re not even sure if we are going to stand again let alone attempt that climb again.  There are certain circumstances, though, where no matter how painful that fall may have been, no matter how devastated we are to find ourselves at the bottom again, we can’t help but find ourselves drawn to attempt the climb again.  We learn, we pivot, we try a new angle.  We may not be able to see the top anymore.  In spite of the hurt we are still drawn to it.  It’s those moments that make us understand the call of something greater from the universe, that there is something in us to answer that calling and complete the task.  There truly is strength in those most vulnerable moments when we aren’t quite sure if we can even open our eyes let alone see the path—and if we can see the path, do we see where it really goes?  The world has consistently shown one thing for all of eternity in spite of the most heinous atrocities or the most thrilling of victories: it keeps moving.

For all of the pressure and fear and stipulation and direction and expectation we put on each other, for all the illusion of power and strength and knowing we try to portray the universe has shown one thing: it gives zero fucks about any of that.  If we are on the right energy and aligned with the greater plan, it will happen.  There have even been some NOT so great things that managed to find their way through because there was enough power in the person’s belief that they swayed things in their favor.  But that is fleeting. We are all still human and there is a clock on what we do.  The universe will respond and sometimes it isn’t that we didn’t have enough faith or that we mis-stepped (although that sometimes happens too) but it is just that we need the strength to find a different way, strength we won’t get if we don’t experience the fall and learn to find our way back up.  When we are at our most vulnerable it’s easy to give up if we allow ourselves to wither with the thought of failure.  But if we manage to look at what we can gain from trying again, suddenly that precipice we fell into seems like an opportunity—or perhaps even something we need to outright jump into.  Experiencing those vulnerable moments was never about winning or losing, it was about learning where our strengths were and how to use them.             

Today I am grateful for the ability to make changes.  The privilege to make changes should never be lost on us for any reason.  It’s so easy to look at what we don’t have because often the absence of something is more notable or felt than its presence.  And it’s only when something is gone that we realize what it meant to us.  So the fact that we are able to actively choose and make things new again is a privilege.  The fact that we don’t have to worry about other issues in our lives, issues related to survival alone, is an absolute privilege.  We can decide what we want and we can make it happen.  We can decide to change our cloths or run to the store or remodel our homes or even look for a new home at a moment’s notice.  Life is tough enough, we don’t need to make it harder pretending we are victims stuck in the moment.

Today I am grateful for progress in the right direction.  Progress looks different for different people at different times.  The right direction looks different for people—and sometimes we have to change direction.  It feels good to decide on something and take steps to make it happen.  Action is the basic step to manifestation that we most often miss so when we want things to happen, it isn’t like the world waves a magic wand and we do nothing, allowing what we want to fall in our laps.  I’ve tried that and it’s sorely disappointing waiting.  The real magic happens when we desire, plan, take steps, reevaluate, redirect, take more steps and then what we want appears.  That is exactly what happens, that is how what we want shows up. One step at a time, a little more or a little better every day.

Today I am grateful for truth.  The truth is a scary thing for people (some people) and we are so good at lying, at presenting things in a specific way to get the outcome we want or to have people think a certain way that we fear the truth at times.  We’re so good at lying, spinning, and telling stories that sometimes we don’t even realize we are lying, most often to ourselves.  I will say it a million times over: there is magic and freedom in the truth.  There is something special that happens when we no longer hold back, when we are who we are and we don’t give a shit what others think.  That’s what helps us get in the right direction as well.  The mind, heart, soul, universe, body, everything knows the truth.  We can’t hide the truth for long because the story eats away at us and creates something else not close to the version of what we wanted.  When we are honest, not only are we clear with ourselves, but we are clear with the universe as well.  The thing is this: the truth always comes out anyway so it’s easier to just be open about it from the beginning.  Truth opens doors and when it is an aligned truth, the universe puts it all together for us.  It lays out the red carpet for us—ease comes with truth and it can feel like magic when we enter that flow state.  That only happens when we face the truth. 

Today I am grateful for power—and to witness power.  There is energy in this world and we feel it.  Even if you don’t believe in frequency/don’t understand it, there is no denying what we feel.  From the simplest things like witnessing the elements in nature all the way to knowing what it feels like when we are in our element and using our own power, we do know what it feels like even if we don’t have a name for it.  Witnessing power and seeing people in their element is an amazing thing and we feel their power before they say anything.  Power doesn’t need to be spoken.  It can take time to remember our own strength.  I’m grateful to be reminded that I need to harness and feel my own power at times.  When our energy isn’t respected or reciprocated we need to evaluate the situation, review what we are doing a bit more carefully.  Why are we entertaining being around people who don’t respect us or allow us to be in the full expression of who we are?  Remember our power and never let that light dim.

Today I am grateful for better focus.  Life operates in so many layers.  For as simple as it is, there are complexities and layers that create issues—and at the same time, there is simplicity in those layers.  The world operates in balance, in tandem with what we feel, what we want, what we put out, what’s happening around us, the divine order, our choices etc.   Admittedly it is a chaotic bundle of everything to navigate.  But the more we strip away the layers of the masks we’ve put on ourselves, we find that even the most challenging of situations become easier, lighter when we bring it down to its basest level.  When we focus on what matters and strip away all that extraneous gunk, we can focus on what matters.  What matters to us becomes clear in the midst of trials/chaos.  We try to avoid chaos because we fear it makes us look out of control but there are times, as difficult as it is that we need to welcome it.  We need to let the storms come to clear away the junk that doesn’t matter.  Sometimes the chaos reigns for a while so we can remove what isn’t necessary and get down to the bottom of what matters.  Not everything can have priority in our lives.  The muddiness will always settle if we slow down for a bit and breathe.  Just breathe.          

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

I want to talk about our judgement for a minute, specifically the habit of judgement.  Given the context of our conversation yesterday regarding POV(point of view), I think it’s important to learn how to discern when our opinions are needed.  We will find that in most situations regarding other people and their choices, our opinion isn’t needed.  Corey Talbott shared a story of a mother coming up to her and saying she was a bad mom because of some slight this woman perceived in the actions between the kids.  I have often been told that our perception is realty and that has always pissed me off.  Not that I’m innocent in making clean observations all the time (and I’m certainly guilty of rash decisions—I’m human) but I have always hated the fact that we made allowances for people’s idea of what happened to take precedence over what actually happened.  Many mistakes and poor decisions have been made prior to understanding the facts of the situation.

The reality is there is no purpose in judgement.  Even if we think it has to do with some moral or religious context, those are debts to settle when the time comes for that person—they aren’t for us to call in and they aren’t for us to keep someone on track and hold them to our standards.  This society puts so much pressure on hierarchy and proof of power that we lose sight of what power actually is, the communion with life through use of our gifts and fulfilling our purpose.  Power is living in joy and love and peace and understanding that this time is ever so fleeting and we need to reprioritize what matters to us.  No one else is on the same trajectory of our lives so we don’t need their opinion and they certainly don’t need ours.  I don’t profess to ignore blatantly bad behavior and total anarchy—I’m not talking anything egregious.  I’m talking about the day to day living we do that we all do a little differently.  There is no one right way over another—we do what is best for us.

So if we are going to judge, judge ourselves by where we are today.  Did we do better than yesterday?  Have we knocked anything off of our to do list?  Have we worked toward our goals?  Have we helped someone today?  Have we practiced gratitude today?  Have we told those most important to us that we love them today?  Are we a little bit better than where we were yesterday?  Then that is all that matters.  No one holds the measuring stick in our lives and we need to stop pretending they do.  If we feel judged, we need to realize that hurt people hurt people and it is a fleeting moment—and being judged by a moment serves nothing.  We certainly wouldn’t want someone to judge us at our worst—or perhaps not even at our best.  Life isn’t a series of extremes—we are allowed to be middle ground.  We are allowed to be happy and content with what we have just as we are allowed to go after more.  The point is, what we do with our lives is our responsibility and no one else’s.  No one else pays the bills in my life nor do they in yours.  So why let them decide what we do? Our judgement pertains to what we do with our lives, not with what other people think we should do with them.  Shed the weight of their POV and use our own sight to find the way—it’s much clearer. 

I had a reading today that discussed needing space to find who we are.  The person referenced moving from clique to clique especially when younger as a way of finding identity.  Specifically calling out moving between groups of people.  This was a matter of the karma of others point of view (POV)—learning to not need their opinion on the matter and to embrace my own POV.  When we walk in truth of our unique perspective and become the best version of ourselves, we are renewed and we CONNECT with all sources of who we are (Richard Miller).  We need to trust we are where we need to be, to trust our own journey with our energy and accepting who we are, that we will make the right choice.  That we don’t need to worry about what others think of us.  That we can simply be.  We are looking for more connection to those around us and the world around us.  Sometimes we need space away from the story of who we are to receive the message of who we actually are.

There were times I felt guilty moving from group to group in high school because it felt like I was either using people to a degree (to have social support or appear that I was surrounded by people) or it was incredibly lonely not being entirely supported or accepted by anyone.  I had been a singer at one point and never went for it, I was a writer, I was friends with the jocks and somewhat of an athlete myself, I danced, I spoke French.  In each of those groups I was a different person.  In each of those scenarios I transitioned between what I was doing before and became the person who needed to address those tasks in that moment.  I became what I thought people wanted me to be depending on what I was doing.  I never held my own identity—I was whatever I was doing in the moment.  I wore so many masks all day that I think that was why I enjoyed time alone, reading, singing, doing whatever my brain thought of while I was home.  I flitted from task to task, completing things off of my list trying to impress people.

I pushed everyone away.  I became so intense about being accepted and defining myself by who I was with and what I was doing that they saw I was trying way too hard.  I was becoming something else every moment of the day—I didn’t even know who I was.  what I’ve learned in this is that there comes a point when we understand that what people think of us doesn’t matter.  It really doesn’t.  we are who we are and the world wants us to express that.  We can fold into the definitions and roles people see us in and we can get by like that.  But the pleasure and enjoyment of life that we discuss will never find us if we aren’t fully invested in who we are and what we want.  Until we learn that what people think of us really doesn’t matter, we will always be playing a role rather than being who we are.

“A life of pleasure and radical enjoyment require knowledge and practice,” Rebbe Gafni.  For as much as we all understand what pleasure and enjoyment are, they are incredibly subjective terms.  While we all know what joy is, we all experience joy at different things.  A concept we need to remember is that joy and happiness come from within.  While certain experiences, people, things etc. can bring joy, joy is still something that comes from within—we decide when we feel joy so joy is a personal experience.  We have a complex relationship with the purpose of life.  Is it joy and the pursuit of happiness?  Is it work?  Is it work that brings joy?  Is it time spent having fun and the pursuit of fun things? Is it the pursuit of things and power?  And then is it power over ourselves or power over others? I mean, none of us really have the same pursuits in life or decide on the same means of attaining those pursuits… Is it working and creating value in our personal lives and hopefully sharing that with others? Some people want to be writers while others want to be fighters.  Some want to paint and others want to save lives.  Some want to understand life and some want to understand death.  In this world there is the need for AND.  We need the creativity AND the drive.  We need the strength AND the gentleness.  We need the joy AND the purpose.  We need the fun AND the intention.  We need the boundaries AND the flexibility of understanding.

The real pleasure of life is in finding the balance.  It isn’t in the constant pursuit of material or gain or power nor is it in the pursuit of pleasure and enjoyment.  We soon find that in order to enjoy life, there is a degree of seriousness in that too.  We can’t just assume that what we wish for will appear.  There is a degree of that in manifestation and in faith but the point is we need to take action as well.  I’ve found that the real pleasure in life is in self-mastery.  That comes with understanding who we are and what we want to do.  It comes with being who we are and following through on what we say we will.  It’s in exploring and finding what truly brings us joy in the first place.  That is forming the knowledge mentioned in the opening quote.  The practice comes with trying it out.  Discovering what we like and learning about it and then putting it to use, trying it on.  I am the first person to admit an aversion to saying yes.  I often feared getting saddled with responsibility I didn’t want or being unduly burdened with what other people wanted me to do for them.  I didn’t want to work on their dreams.  I wanted the time to work on my own desires.  And in order to do that, we need to take the time to learn about it rather than be distracted with what other people tell us to do—or what we should do.  if we are going to find pleasure and joy in life, we need to figure out what pleasure and joy are to us.

We have such a weird relationship with life in general and as humans we have an even weirder relationship with how we feel about life.  Like, we want to let go and have fun but we tie ourselves down to a routine that we neither asked for or enjoy but we fully participate in it.  We seek freedom in as many areas of our lives as possible but we play by these rules.  Look, I advocate for neither extreme rules or extreme freedom because if we adopt either end of the spectrum, we are either living in an autocratic/fascist/dictatorship or we are living in between total anarchy/nihilism/lala land.  Neither really works. We don’t want people telling us what to do but we also want someone responsible for us and at the same time we want freedom with the security of being able to support ourselves.  The thing is this: we will always be in between.  We are never all one thing or another and that is the point of balance.  The thing with balance is that we need to practice it and take responsibility for it.  we need to understand it and practice it and see how we feel in it.  We need to understand how we feel and what we want and, at the core of it all, who we are and what our purpose is.  We can have fun, pleasure, enjoyment, but to understand the full capacity of it we need to take it seriously to a degree.  We learn about it. 

No one has all the answers but I do know that in order for us to find a sense of purpose we need to acknowledge and honor who we are and in order to do that we need to take the time to explore.  We need to allow more “yes” into our lives and stop turning away what we are afraid of or what we are afraid of taking responsibility for.  If we want joy, we have to take responsibility for finding and creating joy.  If we want pleasure, we need to learn what pleasure is to us.  The same with purpose and freedom.  All of those things, while we are seeking a life or moment of peace and ease, require us to dive in and do the work. To learn about who we are and what we are capable of.  To learn that we can push further than we thought we could and to own our choices, to fully navigate through life.  When we practice this and understand the layers of what we do, an entire world opens up for us with new levels to attain and pursue.  To let go, we have to take up the reins of our choices and explore it with ravenous curiosity and care.  Once we open the door, once we take that first step, it isn’t that far of a leap to find the key to success in our lives, and open the door to a life of joy and happiness AND purpose—we can make it one in the same.