Today I am grateful for flexibility. I’ve often spoken of my struggle with time and my fears about it. Over the last few weeks I’ve faced that fear head on as our schedules have shifted with my husband starting a new job and our son starting school. I learned that sometimes the things we fear aren’t as drastic as we imagine them to be—it goes right along with mindset. Adaptation isn’t just going with the flow, it’s a mutual formation of something new. Releasing the death grip I held on time and my schedule has actually allowed a lot more freedom. There is still a need for routine, but the shifts have allowed me to see what I have room for and what is really important. Simple changes lead to big results and suddenly those fears I’ve lived with aren’t as scary as they once were.
Today I am grateful for a new understanding of responsibility. I used to think that responsibility meant taking on everything and being accountable for everything. With the schedule changes I mentioned and learning to navigate through different time constraints and prioritizing differently for the projects we have going on, it has shown me that responsibility is less about making ourselves feel busy and more about taking on the things we are willing to be responsible for. Responsibility is a choice and we are allowed to put down that which doesn’t align with our purpose. I recently read Embrace Your Almost by Jordan Lee Dooley and she shared an interesting perspective on priority. When we prioritize everything, nothing gets done so instead we should look at prioritizing what matters now and what needs to be done now. Eventually all will get done in its time. We don’t need to take on what doesn’t work now.
Today I am grateful for what I’m able to provide. I’m so grateful for the things I’ve been able to do with my life and I’m grateful to wake up to clearer purpose about aligning with what else I can do. I’m grateful for being able to provide for my family and not have to worry about basic necessities—that is a HUGE blessing today and I don’t take that for granted. I’m grateful to be able to provide counsel to those who have sought me out and I give it willingly—I actually LOVE doing it. I’m grateful to provide health services and insight to those who ask. This helps me align further with my purpose to awaken people. I used to think of being a facilitator as being a stepping stone or door mat. Now I see it as someone who opens the door, someone who helps people get in the right direction on their path. I’m grateful to provide that.
Today I am grateful to continue to learn. There are so many times I feel like I failed with my son—so many times I feel like I fail. I lose my patience and my temper over and over. I struggle understanding what he actually needs. I don’t communicate well. And I know I need to calm down and accept everything about what is. Including that my child will test me and push buttons I didn’t know I had. I also need to remember that I have a lot to learn and that, yes, being a parent means putting aside the things I thought I knew and getting comfortable going at someone else’s speed. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel frustration when my instructions aren’t heard but I can remember that it isn’t about me.
Today I am grateful for a great reminder on learning (following the last point): You can’t beat a river into submission, you have to surrender to it (Doctor Strange). I still have the habits based on the construct of what I know as “right” so I feel myself trying to pass that on to my son and taking that out on my husband. Now, I’m not defending myself because there are basic things that simply are as they are and need to be done whether we like it or not. But if we get close and the lesson is learned, does it really matter how? So it isn’t about my ego and being right and teaching him the “right” way. It’s about meeting him at his level and understanding where he’s at today. Some days he is ready and willing. Others he isn’t. Some things aren’t about me. Some things are about surrendering. Truly letting go and learning what we are being taught, even if we are the ones who are supposed to teach.
Today I am grateful to attempt that surrender. People are who they are and we need to remember that we aren’t here to control anyone else. We only have say over what we do. Surrender means being with people as they are. Truthfully it gets heavy carrying the load of telling everyone how it should be. And I know that isn’t my role. That isn’t my position. I’m meant to help people when they are willing and receptive to it. I’m not meant to bark orders and dictate how life is supposed to be. I’m simply meant to be and to guide as I’m needed. Let go of what I think I know.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.