2020 cracked the ground beneath everything you thought was stable
2021 forced the questions you’d been avoiding.
2022 took what wasn’t real, even when it hurt
2023 asked you to rebuild quietly, without applause
2024 taught you patience, discipline, and inner strength
2025 brought you back to yourself, stripped, honest, awake
2026 doesn’t ask for preparation anymore. It asks for movement
In the vein of movement, this year is going to be a beast in the best possible way. It’s forward, it’s progress, it’s work, it’s joy. We are now entering the season of doing—we are no longer waiting for the right time or waiting for permission or waiting for someone to agree or to explain ourselves. This is an honoring of what we’ve accomplished so far, a remembrance of what we’ve done this year and a welcoming of everything new that we are meant to be. I said before I don’t expect anyone to wake up tomorrow with a switch flipped as an entirely new person but I do expect a clear intention. I expect I’m not the only one who feels what the alchemist said above—we have prepared enough. And that serves well because they say If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. We are ready for what comes next. We decide what comes next. Remember: We will not see any results if we continue the patterns or stay still. I am ready and this year is waiting for movement. It’s time. Happy New Year!
“I’m not the wound, I’m not the fall. Not the silence, not the wall. I’m not the night they couldn’t see. I’m the best me, rising free. I’m not what happened to me. I’m what I choose to be. Each step I take, I shift, rise. The past dissolves before my eyes. Not the moment, not the mark. I am more than what went dark. I hold the sun behind my skin. I plant the truth and grow within. I’m not what happened to me. I’m what I choose to be. Each breath I take, I shift, I rise. The story ends, the soul flies. I’m not what happened to me,” Good Vibes Tribe 11:11. We need this reminder. We’ve been trained to cling to our mistakes like they’re who we are. As if any mistake we make needs to be branded on us like a scarlet letter of sorts, always reminding us and the world of what we’ve done. We created a society that likes extremes so we tend to fixate on those who do something really bad or those who do something really good—and it’s even better when someone who usually is good is doing something bad. We like it when people don’t live up to our expectations and really make a mess because we can look at their character and actions instead of our own. We can sit there and be grateful it isn’t us. But I want to talk about this concept of forgiveness and the idea that maybe we don’t have to live as our mistakes even if we have to live with them.
Human are powerful in so many ways, imagine what would happen if we released every block on our hearts, minds, and souls and simply allowed ourselves the grace to be. What if we let go of the hatred we hold for ourselves so we stop lashing out at others? What if we forgave our mistakes so no one could lord them over us? What if we took our power back? Humans live an entire span of life that moves so much faster than we realize that it makes NO sense whatsoever to define a lifetime by a single moment. Groupthink makes us feel powerful because we can come together as a collective and share a common opinion/thought on something even if that something is someone else. When we remember our own power and realize that their thoughts aren’t reality and that we control the narrative we break that shackle of judgement right off. No one has walked in our shoes so what gives anyone the right to judge in the first place? The lyrics shared at the beginning of this piece felt so appropriate, especially in a time when everyone is now focused on pushing ahead. The point isn’t to hide what we’ve done or to pretend it never happened—it’s to learn and if we dwell there or shove it so far down we forgot it exists, we miss the point. We are all here for a lesson:
We get to choose who we are and what we do. We define our success and failures. If we are certain we’ve done our part well, that’s all that’s needed. We get to set ourselves free when we forgive anything we believed we needed to carry around as a constant reminder and we free up all that mental space to use that energy for something amazing—the fullest expression of who we are. We transcend any blocks or limitations we put on ourselves because someone told us we should. We become light for someone else to do the same so they can be a light and so on and so on until the world is ignited with purpose and hope and joy. Once we decide to let go of the darkness and release the weight of the veil between then and now, we become limitless. I’m tired of cutting off the buds of truth I’ve planted over and over again because something triggers me to feel lost in what happened before. It’s time to let that seed sprout and grow into an entire garden. Nothing grows in the dark and nothing remains hidden forever so we must learn to stop casting our own shadow and living there. We are not what happens to us, we are what we decide to be.
“The most powerful alarm clock is purpose. Build a life worth living and your passion will wake you up before any alarm,” via enlightenthoughts. We are creatures of habit who benefit from structure—so much so we need to be aware of not getting ourselves in a rut or becoming too narrow focused. Some people say laser focus is necessary and I would agree that in some cases being laser focused and specific is needed—I don’t want a surgeon watching TV while operating. We need drive to really get us going. If this year didn’t take us where we want to be or if we find ourselves asking what our purpose is, now is the time to consider the changes we can make moving forward. The past can’t be changed but we can change the future as I’ve said and that is something we’ll talk about more. Since we crave routine, we focus on developing those habits that help us become who we want to be. Is it really motivating to wake up and immediately have to get ready for a job that requires you dress a certain way, eat at designated times, only allows a few weeks off at most (with permission)? The motivation there is external. I challenge everyone to find that internal motivation. The motivation that doesn’t even need to tell us to get going. It’s the drive to accomplish something, not complete a list of tasks for the day that will never end and we repeat it tomorrow.
We often feel like we are trapped, like we have no way out because we aren’t expressing our true selves, sharing our unique gifts, or communicating our honest thoughts and feelings. We spend too much time hiding behind the image we’ve created and we can get lost there. Living truth looks different for everyone. It’s not something that can be done FOR someone. We know that feeling when we’re doing something out of obligation or just routine and it’s a matter of feeling like we just need to get through it. Life is so much more than just getting through. This is the perfect time to pivot. Don’t set ourselves up with some lofty goal of changing our lives overnight and suddenly on 1/1/26 we’re a new person. Look at he amalgamation of all the events of our lives, especially those in the last year and ask where they are leading us to next. We know where we are, we need to know the next step to get to where we’re going and doing a deep dive let’s us see the little things we still need to shift. As we ask ourselves those questions, we can also ask if we’re getting up in the morning because we have to or because we get to. If the answer is because we have to, it’s time to go further and find out what makes us want to get up. What is the thing that makes us say, “I can’t believe I get to do this!” and actually mean it?
Now is not the time to get down on ourselves for any misses we’ve had up to this point. We can’t replay that game anyway. Now is the time to decide who we are and if we are willing to do what it takes to be that person. It doesn’t matter what it is whether it’s stopping a habit or picking up a new one, if it’s believing in ourselves or learning some humility, stepping up or stepping away. I want to emphasize when I talked about knowing I needed to take time off and didn’t do it, I KNEW I needed that time off and I paid for it. Constant fear and worry, a feeling of always being ON, a mind that couldn’t complete a coherent sentence in conversation, who forgot the conversation while having it, who wrote things down and still forgot because there was so much to do and my mind was so crowded it couldn’t take anymore. And that was the fun time when my mind decided it also needed to replay my greatest hits of every mistake in my life and every potential mistake and loss going forward. Sometimes we have to forgive the past so it stops holding a veil over our future. We will never see that future (or be able to live it) if we are constantly filtering it through old events. We need to understand that WE are the ones holding that veil. Our passion and true self is always accessible, that person is right there, and they will be present if we stop forcing them to hide behind who we were. We need to forgive and decide to live how we are meant to because that’s what we’re here for. Decide to feel that purpose, decide to get out of our own way. Bring all that power back and share that purpose with the world.
Today I am grateful for rest. For the second time in five weeks I’ve been ill, this time to the point where I couldn’t get off the couch. I’m enraged that this happened around the holidays (both Thanksgiving and Christmas) because I’ve tried my best to make this such a special time of year for everyone and it has completely fallen flat, especially for me. But the point was received that I needed the rest. The body and mind can’t exist in a perpetual state of “on” and sometimes it just smacks us upside the head. Believe me, this was not without huge existential crisis over the last few weeks and bemoaning “why” this was happening now, but I understand that for whatever reason, I was not meant to participate in this round. This entire year has felt like being behind the 8 ball, reacting to the crappy shots I’ve been set up for and wondering how the hell we got here. Truth be told I’m ready to be on the other side of this and make moves forward. As exhausting as 2024 was, 2025 came in and said, “Hold my beer, you haven’t seen left field yet.” And it showed. I could NOT keep up with anything and I tried. So right now, whatever is happening, it’s definitely telling me that this is not my time to do anything. So I will sit here for a while longer and be ready to move when it’s time. That’s all I can do.
Today I am grateful for anger. Ok, I hate anger. I hate this feeling of being angry. I hate the feeling of being caged, like no matter what I do, I can’t get out of this. I hate not understanding how I’ve gotten here. I hate feeling like I’ve done all I could, that I’ve done exactly as I was supposed to and somehow still ended up buried. I hate feeling sorry for myself—and I will admit that I DO feel sorry for myself because I see where all my energy and effort goes and how often it isn’t received/returned/falls flat. That may be incredibly selfish, and I can admit that too, because it comes across as demanding what I feel I’m owed. But the truth is I AM angry and if I keep denying it, I will continue missing the point. The point is multi-faceted and I understand that I can’t have expectations of what I’m supposed to get or what I’m owed. I can’t have expectations of anything. The anger exists because I’m expending energy thinking a certain thing will happen and it isn’t happening. It exists because those results aren’t happening, but also because it is a lot of passionate energy directed toward a goal that just never seems to come true, that never seems to be enough energy to “make” it happen. But lately I’m seeing that with all of this misspent energy, perhaps the point is I need a much deeper dive into what I really want to do and where I really want to spend my energy. A real look at the motivation behind my actions. My home environment was in shambles this year in an attempt to put things back together and it still doesn’t feel quite right. So I know that I need to redirect my energy—because if I’m spending my energy where it feels right, this anger won’t exist. So I am grateful for the reminder to redirect toward what is really me, because this anger is NOT who I am and I no longer need to carry it.
Today I am grateful for new perspective on people’s behavior. I see a lot of guilt in those around me. People who suddenly act the hero (or who suddenly want to act the hero) because they aren’t in a position to help regularly suddenly feel the need to step forward and behave as if they have the right to make decisions as if they’ve been doing the work all along. This has been a recurring theme for me. I’ve done the work for years only for someone else to come along and take all the credit. It sounds so egotistical, I know that, but this is another moment of needing to be honest. Spending years building things whether it was an entire department for an organization, running a project single handedly, executing something flawlessly, fixing a project, helping people finish their work, taking care of those around me, I was the stepping stone for so many and I was left in the dust and treated as if I did nothing. I was treated as if needed to be told what needed to be done, as if I needed to be told what HAD been done all this time—like I didn’t know the work that had already been put in. I can’t tell if it’s ego in the sense of needing the credit or if it’s ego in the sense of I’m tired of my effort and work being dismissed or outright ignored. Perhaps it’s both. But I see the motivation for others to swoop in is also ego—they need to make themselves feel better for not putting in that effort for all that time. There will come a time when the truth can’t be ignored. The work we do, the work that really means something can’t be for attention. So I will continue to do the work that feels right and that’s all I can do. No matter what others do, I can only do what I’m meant to do and it isn’t for points.
Today I am grateful for motivation. I can’t reiterate strongly enough how challenging these last few months have been. I’ve felt like I’ve been on my own, shooting in the dark, stumbling over everything. I have hated feeling so inept and unkempt and afraid and confused and angry and I’ve realized none of that anger or confusion has helped me in any way. It’s been additional wasted energy. So I’m grateful that, at the very least, all that crappy energy has motivated me to step up in new ways and propel myself forward toward something new. Truth be told it’s nothing like what I’ve been working toward before-this is really something else. I feel parts of me falling away and I feel myself wanting to take action in new ways as well. It’s been painful but exciting in some ways. So at the very least, the silver lining in all this crap is that I am genuinely ready to move forward and humble myself where I need to and to advocate for myself where I need to. I thought I’d done that before, but I’ve learned the difference now—the difference between real motivation and calling over want and demand in the moment. Focus. Drive.
Today I am grateful for release. I’ve struggled to let go my entire life. I’m not ashamed of some of it because I’m a record keeper and I was able to keep a fairly objective stance on things that happened for a long time. I preserved the memories and feelings of so many people for so long and I know that brought a lot of happiness to many of them. It brought me happiness too. A sense of safety. But in the lessons I’ve received regarding behavior, motivation, anger, rest, and misspent energy, I see that I can’t been the carrier/source of all these emotions for everyone. I can’t retain that type of baggage. I can’t be all things to all people. No one can do that. These next few days, the last days of 2025 are for wrapping up, tying up loose ends, and letting go of the rest. I no longer want to carry that type of burden or distraction. It’s time to let go, it’s time to lean into what is, to offer acceptance for myself and others and believe what’s in front of me. To let go of the crap and realize that the memory is what it is for people, they all see it how they want to, it isn’t my job to make anyone see things a certain way. It’s my job to fulfill my role, my purpose. What people do with that is their problem. It’s time to welcome the new.
“Let me tell you something: a lot of people are not mad that you changed, they are uncomfortable that you didn’t stay where they could recognize you. When you start growing, when you start healing, when you stop tolerating the same nonsense that you’ve been tolerating forever, they’re going to say that you’ve changed. They’re going to say you’re different now, that you’ve switched up. They’re going to say you’re not the same anymore—and they are right. You are not. That is the point. Growth makes people nervous, especially the ones who benefitted from the old version of you. The version that over-gave, overexplained, overstayed, over-tolerated. So instead of admitting that you outgrew the space, they tried to shame you for evolving. They tried to make growth sound like betrayal, they tried to make healing sound like arrogance, but hear me clearly: people evolve. People grow, people change direction. That is not fake. That is life. If staying the same was the goal, you would still be stuck in every season that almost broke you. If comfort was the assignment, you would never discover your full potential. You are allowed to upgrade, you are allowed to want more, you are allowed to outgrow people who refuse to grow with you. And here is the truth they do not want to say: your growth forces them to confront what they are avoiding, so instead of doing the work they criticize the mirror. Do not shrink yourself to make people feel safe. Do not apologize for becoming healthier. Do not go backwards just to make someone else comfortable. You are not changing for the worse, you are changing for the better, and anyone who cannot handle that was never meant to walk with the version of you that is coming. Keep evolving, keep growing, keep choosing better because the people who are meant for you will recognize growth as alignment, not abandonment,” Jay Douglas.
As we approach the end of the year, it’s time to start thinking about what life looks like moving forward. I’m not talking about the resolutions we will hear about obsessively next week and then people will forget by the week after. I’m talking about reflecting and soul-searching, and looking at the events of the past year with honesty. Being brave enough to evaluate what has happened and our role in it and what that means for the future. I’m talking about evaluating if we are aligned with who we are and having the courage to shift course if we need to. Not everyone is a block to the life we want to live but it may be even more true that not everyone is an ally on that journey. It’s normal for anyone to be afraid of what comes next on any journey, especially if it is a huge shift from what they/we’ve known. It is NOT normal for those who claim to love and support us to start cutting us down when we take those steps. It is NOT normal for those who claim to love us to cut us off when we talk about a behavior that hurts us. It is NOT normal for those same people to work behind our backs to spread their version of the story. That’s manipulation and control and that is not someone who supports us moving forward. Plot twist is that person can also be ourselves. But that isn’t what this is about today—this is about recognizing whether or not our environment encourages growth and that includes the people around us.
The season is about honoring what has happened, expressing gratitude for the blessings/joys we’ve experienced, and welcoming back the light. This is also the time to prepare for what’s to come. Knowing the light is coming and knowing it’s time for something new—the next phase. I don’t suggest cutting everyone out of our lives by any means, but I recommend using an extremely discerning eye on those around us. To do that, I recommend turning that eye to ourselves first. What have we done to bring ourselves closer to our goals? What have we done to support our growth/evolution into the person we say we want to become? What have we done that held us back? What patterns are we repeating? What behavior are we allowing into our lives that stifles the light we try to bring? Once we can answer that honestly and authentically, the healing can begin and we no longer feel the need to shrink. As Douglas says, some people will be uncomfortable with that. Don’t let their discomfort become a hindrance to our growth and goals. In the next year we will continue to evolve and we will continue to have opportunities to create or stay the same. Don’t be afraid to choose better if it means losing something. In order to do better, we have to lose the things that prevent that change. It only feels lonely until the new door opens up and we find ourselves where we always wanted to be. Don’t abandon ourselves on that journey—stay present, stay honest, stay in who we are and let the rest fall always. We are grateful for all we have, but we are also grateful for all we can unlock within ourselves. Let’s prepare to move forward.
This is the first day I’ve taken off that didn’t require some form of work in over a year. I’ve accumulated over 4 weeks of vacation time and my brain is ready for a rest. There were signs I needed to rest all along—the anger, the frustration, the boredom, the sadness. And I knew that was the problem all along—I needed rest. I needed time to integrate and recoup and understand so much of what happened the year previously and in some instances what happened throughout my life. I had to learn to look at the story I told from a new perspective. Growth means change and that meant looking at it differently, looking at myself differently, and behaving differently. I ended up doing what I THOUGHT was different, which was to work on different projects. I worked on them all at the same time and ended up buried. I needed a change but I didn’t consider the pause—as I so often told everyone around me and as I often shared here. I knew (know) action is the best way forward but I completely booked myself to the point I couldn’t breathe. They were all things I wanted to do but I had no structure and I worked and worked and worked and instead of finding a way out or a way forward, I buried myself deeper, right alongside all the other things I’d thought I put behind me.
The body and mind gives signals all the time, as I mentioned above, I knew exactly what both my mind and body were telling me. There was always something else, something that needed to be done, someone else who needed direction/instruction/consoling/comforting/reassuring. Then people started to get angry when things fell through the cracks whether it was professionally or personally. Instead of asking how they could help, they ignored and asked for more. I figured since no one else saw this as a problem, perhaps I was too sensitive to the issue and I needed to buck up and double down. And I did. In some ways it was good because that made it painfully clear exactly what the problem was and where I didn’t fit. The issue was trying to fit into all these different things at once, some of them weren’t even what I wanted. I couldn’t stop to get my bearings enough to find the way. As this year draws to a close, I feel a particular drain on my energy that’s telling me there is nothing left to give in this moment. Projects are falling apart, a fatigue and melancholy rest over me and will not let up, a genuine depression for how things have turned out has it’s claws in me, and it seems for the first time in a while, I am out of options. Stopping is the only thing I can do.
So I decided to take today off. My mind still races with things I need to do, things I want to do. But I can’t do justice to any of those things in this current state. I need to put my energy where it belongs and right now this is about conserving what I have and reconnecting with the source. What lights me up from within. I spent a lot of time in the past and I’m seeing it so differently now. It’s not that I can go back or recreate what has happened and I need to stop trying to recreate that feeling for myself or for anyone. They didn’t feel that way anyway. This is about aligning with where I am now and setting new boundaries. There was a point I will admit I felt rest was a waste of time. But I realized that taking the time to rest is better than the time spent redoing and fixing and backtracking would could have been avoided by simply pausing. So, as I’ve said before. Right now all that can be done is to stop digging and assess what’s happened. Catch my breath. I can’t change what happened but this is the chance to change what’s going to happen. So breathe.
Today’s message is brief: I hope this holiday has awoken a fresh perspective for all of us. I hope we all find warmth in gathering in spirit and mind and body and are reminded of love and that we are love. I hope we always remember to take the time to honor and respect and appreciate the light within us and that we remember that light far outweighs any darkness we feel. Take some time to honor and reflect everything we’ve been through this year and to remember that brighter days are coming. If we’ve made it this far, we can certainly make it a bit further. Take today to reflect on the love around us and within us and to share that light with those most important to us. I hope this day is filled with magic and healing and hope and endless joy. The well is deep my friends, and we have a lot to be grateful for. Never forget that. Have a beautiful holiday no matter where you are or how you celebrate.
Christmas is truly one of my favorite holidays. I love the magic in the air and I love creating magic for my family. I love the spirit and reminder of how even through hard times, we always have each other and the real strength and magic is in love and belief. Even in the darkest of nights there is a light we can find. And if we’ve found a particularly dark spot in ourselves this year, now is the time to make peace with that and allow some of our light to shine through again—even in those darkest of places. Tonight is about love and hope above all. Sure we all hope Santa brings us something special but the truth is there are infinite irreplaceable and special things in this world just as it is now and they are constantly around us. I can attest first hand that it isn’t always easy to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps. Sometimes life has a way of kicking our ass so thoroughly we aren’t sure how we can get up again. Yet, every year, I find myself here in awe and in love and grateful for everything around me. Not just materially in the safety I’ve built in my life and the home I’ve created, but with the genuine love of people I care about. Time has a way of showing us what matters and revealing the truth about those around us. This year had some hard lessons. But even with hard lessons, there is joy-and that is the light.
We can’t get to where we’re going without pushing through. The great equalizer in this world is the test of strength we all face when it comes to taking that next step in our lives. Whether it’s taking the leap on what we always wanted to do or finally speaking our truth or finally becoming honest about who we are, we will ALL have to decide if we are willing to face that challenge head on. Part of the magic of this night has to do with the shedding and becoming that happens when we choose to enter the phase of unknown to find the next phase of known. This night is filled with the hope and anticipation of great things to come. Sure it’s terrifying to leave the safety of what we know because that makes us vulnerable. But it also makes us open to receive. No matter how tired we are and no matter how far we’ve come or how far we still have to go, taking that challenge head on opens a door to the strength we have in side that we may not have known to exist. Open the door. Embark on the journey and be grateful for the tools we have at our disposal. We have everything we need with us, and with hope, belief, perseverance, and courage, a new life is birthed to us. We’ve always had what we needed all along and this beautiful holiday is a reminder that we still have it. Be grateful for what we have and for those we have with us but do not fear taking the steps on the path laid before us. Do not be afraid to enter the darkness of the den to find the lion within is a cat that needs to be held. To align with the magic that runs in our veins and to become who we are meant to be. Let the light shine no matter how cold or dark and we find all the warmth we need within. We will always be guided to where we need to be, we will always find our way.
In the coming weeks I want to focus some on what I brought up yesterday regarding picking our hard and the fine line between success and pain—well, specifically the effort for success being pain. There’s a lot of nuance to that in regards to the idea that work is hard and our mindset to the belief that work has to be hard. I talked about pain the other day in regards to our ability to focus on the end goal no matter what and the fact that in any goal there are things we will have to give up. That remains true. I want to keep that eye on the prize because we are entering a new phase. We are entering a time where it’s more important to find the reality of who we are than it is to wear any mask we can create for our own comfort—or anyone else’s for that matter. The chance of failure, while painful, is far less risky than taking no chance at all and any time we take a chance like that, we risk some type of pain. I don’t believe all life has to be struggle or maximum effort but I am aware that the definition of pain depends on our resilience to the matter. I’m reminded of the leader of our business referencing the graveyard and what we do with the dash between birth and death. I’m reminded also that we speak of the richest place in the world being the graveyard for all the untapped potential and ideas buried in the earth. I’ve seen family success and failure—One day I’ll share the full story of our bakery and our trucking business. I’m aware of the pain of effort, the pain of the ALMOST, and the pain of loss and that background has created a fear in me for years that I didn’t recognize before now, before we approach the end of this chaotic and confusing year. I’ve seen the wasted effort (I’ve felt it in my own actions) and I’ve seen the massive success of that same effort.
With the latter point, I fully understand Hormozi when she says that successful people have a high tolerance for pain. She also says, “Extraordinary results in public are the result of extraordinary suffering in private.” It always bothered me that my ideas were misunderstood and often ignored because people couldn’t see the same picture I painted. It bothered me even more that, in the act of taking on my own efforts to bring that picture to fruition was seen as hyper-independence and control. Fine, there was a degree of the latter two points but it wasn’t about controlling others. It was about controlling the outcome I so desperately wanted to see. Regardless, with the entrepreneurial spirit high in both sides of my family, I understand the tolerance for pain as well as the work required out of the limelight to get there. I’ve experienced that pain myself in trying to launch different ventures on my own and what I’ve seen in my brother and his own business. Now, I share all of this because I’m 100% entering a new phase in my life. I’ve faced some unexpected lessons this year with people I loved and cared about and I’ve had to learn new levels of what it takes to get what I want. I’ve also learned that creating what I want looks and feels differently than I thought it would. I’m finally aware of the potential I’ve always felt within and what it actually takes to unleash it. None of that light would come out sitting in the darkness of the blanket I put over my life to make others comfortable. The ironic part is even offering that blanket to others became lonely because they still didn’t want to share when I offered exactly what they asked for. That’s beside the point in the moment.
The real point is that we need a particular mindset to go after what we want in this life. We need clear values and a discerning eye and a certain tolerance for bullshit and a certain intolerance for the bullshit of others. We have to tread the line of not being afraid to go it alone while being soft enough to adapt as needed. We need to know when to put our heads down and do the work in silence and when we need to raise our hands, either to ask for help or to tell others to get the hell out of the way. Life has this ebb and flow of taking control and taking orders and that pivots when we decide we want to go in another direction. This has been a massively beautiful year and I’m still sad—gain takes loss and the losses I faced hurt. But I will not regret the changes I went through and what they have brought into my life already. Now it’s time to commit to moving forward and embracing the changes still to come. We get to write our own story—we truly do—we just don’t always get to pick the color of the ink or where we write it down. I’ve become very clear in these last few weeks, perhaps even just these last few days if I’m honest, and I see what needs to be done in the next year. It’s ok to let go of the idea I’ve held onto for so long. Several weeks back we spoke about what we have to leave in order to cleave—and sometimes the reverse is true—we have to cleave in order to leave. Regardless of how we do it (separate the behavior to attach or separate the attachment to allow new behavior), we must change to change. This isn’t one of those “New Year New Me” things—this is the awareness that change takes clarity and effort and focus. This is the understanding of what we need to be willing to endure to get where we want to go. I look forward to sharing this next part of the journey.
“The most successful people I know have a high tolerance for pain,” Leila Hormozi. I’m on the fence with this one but felt it was an interesting point to address. It isn’t necessarily that they have tolerance for pain but they have a tolerance for adapting to the unexpected and unknown. They have a knack for compartmentalizing things. They can look beyond the pain to do what needs to be done—they keep their eye on the prize and not the hurt. Their main focus is identifying barriers to their goal and eliminating them so they can do the work they need to do to reach that goal. They also have a high tolerance to persist. They don’t let initial mistakes or failures stop them and they’re always willing to try something else. They may get knocked down but they will certainly get back up. It’s that drive to keep going no matter what that brings success.
As I wrote that I understood how that may look like a tolerance for pain—but we all define pain differently. When we keep our thoughts in line and have a firm sense of self as our foundation, less things can bother us. We don’t let emotion make decisions. So that in itself is another key: successful people feel but they don’t get caught up in the feeling and they don’t make decisions at the height of that feeling. The feeling doesn’t alter the scope or trajectory of their goal. Resilience is a huge factor in the end result we see—we get what we put in. It’s a matter of making a choice based on what we value and our ability to rise to the challenge. Get up on the days we feel weak and keep doing something productive—keep the momentum going.
The Intentional Dreamer 