“Believe you can and you’re halfway there,” Theodore Roosevelt.  In all that we do, we need to believe if we are ever going to succeed. Not only believing that we can, but embodying that we can.  It is one thing to say we believe and will do something, it’s another thing to do what we say.  If we merely believe and take no action on it, we will stay right where we are.  Here’s the thing: words are motivating and they can make us feel all sorts of things.  They inspire joy, hope, rage, envy, love, anger—all of those emotions.  Words can also inspire action, and yes, belief.  So I pause here to say that words in themselves are powerful.  Now, when we have a vision, we need to move beyond words and the truth is many people don’t even start.  They let fear take over, things get in the way, we don’t prioritize the beliefs we adhere to or follow so we rarely start.  The most difficult part of starting any journey is the start—it takes more energy to start moving the train than it does to keep it moving so the reality is half of getting there is taking the first step.    

I want to talk about the other side of belief and that is allowing ourselves to get stuck in it or to adhere to it so rigidly that we hold ourselves back.  There’s a line in the movie Dogma where Rufus says that he feels it’s better for people to have ideas than beliefs because beliefs are harder to change—people will die for beliefs.  This is a real implication/reminder of the power of belief: the fact that beliefs are things people do in fact put their lives down for says something to the nature of a belief.  This doesn’t have to be negative by any means—some people have enough faith in their belief that it inspires them to start that big project, it inspires them to help people, to meet people and create something new.  So this is an example of what happens when we take such a powerful force and apply it to our own belief and path: movements can form even if it is just moving ourselves.

And that is the key to this entire thing: when we believe enough we have to take action and move otherwise we will always stay where we are at hoping for things to change, waiting for that moment, that vision to fall into our laps.  We need to have that balance of understanding what the goal is and the belief that we can do it and then we need to take it further and have enough belief to actually get started and take that action.  Belief is truly a powerful thing.  It can be tricky because sometimes there are projects we start that we may never see the results of.  There’s a proverb/saying about how the man who plants a tree knowing he will never sit in its shade truly understands life.  There are several variations of this in Greek proverb and from Tagore.  It is only belief in our idea, in ourselves that allows us to start projects like that.  Live like that, flexible enough to adapt, but strong enough to start something we may never see the end of knowing we can.  Allow that belief to guide us and be shaped by the ideas that feed into it—that is the secret of life.        

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that’s less than the one you’re capable of living,” Nelson Mandela.  In order to get the most out of our gifts we need to commit.  I spoke with a friend of mine about the distraction of every day life and how we don’t get anywhere if we aren’t 100% committed to it.  We end up doing things half-assed and barely moving the needle on anything.  We are allowed to be multi-passionate and it can be difficult to prioritize things we love—especially if we get joy out of multiple things.  But the truth is we will never be completely successful if we don’t commit and seen things through all the way.  Passion drives us and it can be difficult to cut certain passions out of the equation, but it all comes together as it is meant to and when it is meant to.  Some things come back around for us when we least expect them and we are able to connect multiple ideas in a way that makes perfect sense.

So don’t hold back.  All that does is prevent us from living to our fullest capacity.  When we let emotion dictate what happens next, we create false ideas of who we should be as well as false expectations.  When we feel something, feel it entirely, I’m not saying to cut emotion off.  But when we feel it entirely we are likely at the end of the energy that makes us feel that way and it’s time to move on to something else.  We aren’t consumed by something when we let it run its course.  When we are unfulfilled, or perhaps more accurately unresolved, we look for ways to fill that missing piece.  So don’t participate as a spectator on some things and then go in a bit more on other things and the be upset when things don’t pan out how we thought they would.  We can’t find who we really are if we don’t really try to embrace what it is.  Passion doesn’t come from small thoughts or ideas, it comes from diving in  and living to the fullest. 

Don’t live a life that’s less than what we are capable of is the last part of this.  The heart, body, and soul know when we are meant for more.  It tells us in so many ways and we need to understand that if we feel that way that we need to do more.  Our passion is meant to guide us and it is meant to ignite the world so we can guide others who in turn find their light and start guiding others.  We are meant to be catalysts for great things and we can’t do that if we aren’t fully invested in our lives.  I’ve talked about dipping our toes in before and that we can’t learn to swim if we only ever get our feet wet.  Some experiences need to fully envelop us so we understand it.  Allow the experience to show us what to do.  When we find our passion, we know what to do next.  We find the driver, the course, the thing we can build ideas from.  Nothing happens if nothing happens so allow the world to open up so we can create.  Don’t play small for the sake of other people.  They may say we aren’t enough because we are only one candle and they think we need to be the entire cake but the truth is this: one candle can’t light up an entire room, but one candle can light every other candle in that room.  Don’t underestimate our talents and gifts because we are one person.  Instead, fully embrace who we are and find the passion that drives us and it won’t matter what others say.  Create and live with passion.  That is the purpose of life.     

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer.  Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world,” Harriet Tubman (this was on my calendar and attributed to Tubman, I’m not sure on that).  We ended last week talking about the path we are meant to follow—and that all begins with a dream.  Trusting what we know about ourselves and being true to who we are all the time no matter what.   It isn’t easy being the one in the group to stand up and say something contrary to what the group believes—perhaps not even contrary, just a new line of thought. The point of a dream is to see something different and understand the possibility and potential to make that different a reality. Liz Gilbert talks about dreams finding us and how they will persist until they are realized.  She even relays the experience of having an idea for a novel that didn’t pan out for her and several years later, a fellow author of hers reached out and described an idea she had for a book—and it was the same book that Liz had been working on and ultimately abandoned.  The idea found home in another person.  All of that is to say that all change, all potential begins with a dream.  A single thought is all it takes.  Some statistic states we repeat something like 90% of the same thoughts we had the previous day—so if we want to effect change, first we must examine our thoughts. 

The path we are given isn’t mean to be easy—it is for a purpose and with purpose comes lessons we must learn, and as the dreamer, we must be cognizant and vigilant of what the purpose is.  We’ve been told that ease is what we should look for and we often equate comfort to ease. The path we are meant to walk will always require work, and that work isn’t necessarily easy, but it is simple and we can find purpose and joy in it. Those lessons show us options as we see other possibilities.  That isn’t to say life presents constant obstacles or challenges for us, rather they are specific obstacles.  We are meant to face those things and learn to function at our best in the face of whatever may come our way.  This is to say the birth of anything isn’t easy—it is fraught with pain we’ve never felt before but the result is something more beautiful than we can imagine.  Change is birth—it is the welcoming of something new and we can never go back to how things were—change is the ultimate before and after, the divide of who we are now and what we were before.  The shedding is letting go of what we new so we can grow and welcome what we become. Anything that comes on the path is worth it in the end.

“This Too Shall Pass,” as believed to be originated form Edward FitzGerald as retold from a Persian Fable. This year is almost at an end—we are 11 days into November and this is one time I truly don’t know how it happened so fast.  It has been a tumultuous year, a year of change and simultaneous stagnation, a year of progress and steps back, a year of courage and fear, a year of decisiveness and uncertainty-and a year of things coming out of left field.  As we approach the end of the year I find myself reflecting over what has happened and trying to assign meaning to the events that happened and realizing that there is a common theme: moving forward and adaptability.  Time moves forward no matter what we do and it is up to us to decide how we move with it.  We seek predictability in our lives both for safety and control, and this year has been anything but predictable.  I can’t say it’s been devastating (it has in some regards) and I can’t say it’s been terrible (it has in some regards) and I can’t say it’s something I wouldn’t do again (it has in some regards) but the truth is this life is never perfect and we never have everything our way.  So what is the difference in the feeling of this year?

Well, there were things we had expectations on personally, professionally, in our relationships, in our homes, with friends etc. that started off well and ended up off course in some ways.  Sometimes terrible events are great unifiers and sometimes things we thought we saw eye to eye on is where the divide begins.  In times of upheaval and change there is unpredictability and we need to find who we are even if it means letting go of familiarity and stepping out on our own ground—which in itself is terrifying.  I’ve had multiple conversations with people over the last several months about taking the leap.  I’ve had many references to taking the leap and I’ve had a growing feeling that it is indeed time to do something different.  The body reflects what the soul knows and when the soul knows it’s time to move on and do something different, the body gives signs.  We get feelings, we get hunches, we see signs about what to do next.  So what we need to remember is this: nothing is permanent.  The state we are in physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally isn’t permanent and when things change, we are to adapt with it but we have the warning and the indicators of what to do next. 

While we don’t understand the reasoning behind everything, we have to trust that there is a reason—and the reason may not be known until the unseen pieces come together.  Nothing is permanent, everything changes and we are to change with it.  so, the opening quote: “This Too Shall Pass.”  This is a reminder that impermanence.  Looking at our family’s, our friends, our goals, our evolution, we see that we are ever changing and that we are not the same as we were even a few months ago.  Every hard moment, every victory, every fail, every win, every pain, and every sorrow has faded away.  While there may be some marks left behind, the moment is gone and we have made it through.  There are great scars in some areas of our lives but we are here and we have learned from them—and we are here to tell the story.  We are here to learn.  While things are unpredictable and often arrive in ways we wouldn’t have foreseen, they all come together in the end.  The things we need somehow always have a way of turning up right on time, exactly when and where we need them.  We can’t allow ourselves to be so comfortable with the way things are that we forget this evolution and the point of it: this is a journey and we have a role, a purpose.  We can fulfill that if we never become who we are meant to be and that journey turns us into the person who can fulfill that journey.  So when things feel like they are lost, even when they feel great, remember that we are always in flux and we aren’t meant to seek comfort: we are meant to seek purpose.  While these events pass in our lives, we become who we are supposed to be and we end up exactly where we should be, passing through our own evolution and leaving behind a legacy of purpose.  So let the changes happen, let them pass because they are always taking us where we need to be in the end.   

Today I am grateful for action.  This is something we all need a reminder about every now and then.  With so many things happening in the world, in our minds, in our lives, things we want to happen and things we don’t, it’s easy to feel paralyzed.  Sometimes there is simply so much to do that we do nothing because the very prospect of where to start is too much.  If we start something then we’ve essentially pulled the Ker-Plunk stick and we risk all the marbles falling down before we can catch them.  But there comes a point when the overwhelm if inaction outweighs the anxiety of taking the first step.  The truth is all of life is a cascade, a ripple effect.  What we start will infinitely and inevitably lead to something else and we can’t stop that—we don’t want to stop that.  But we need to shift the perspective to understand that the ripple isn’t a bad thing: we aren’t trying to catch the mountain, we are trying to blaze a trail.  Some things will fall—it happens.  We aren’t meant to be omniscient and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders—this world demonstrates day in and day out how little is in our control.  All we can do is our best.  Create the plan, take the steps, do the work and accept that what comes is perfectly fine.  But taking action is the key.  We aren’t meant to stagnate waiting for the right time.  We are doers, and taking that first step is all we need to do and the rest will fall in line. 

Today I am grateful for conversation.  Over the last few weeks, and the last week in particular, I’ve had the opportunity to change perspective on some things.  So often we focus on talking and the things we need to get out (or what we feel we need to express) that many of us have truly lost the art of conversation.  In a world where we all feel a bit used and abused and ignored, we seek platforms to express our opinion, to demonstrate our control of thought, to showcase who we are.  Much of that behavior has transferred to in person interaction as well.  I made some judgements about people around me based on limited facts I had and some very strong feelings I had—and some legitimate cause for mistrust.  But what has happened is the breakdown of some barriers and boundaries that opened the doorways to hearing more of the other side and the truth is there is so much more in common there than I ever could have thought.  Hearing another person’s perspective and taking the time to understand someone else rather than wasting energy defending ourselves and worrying about our side creates not only a doorway, but a bridge.  I hold a lot of defense mechanisms to keep people at arms length because I don’t want to get hurt—shocker, no one wants to be hurt.  But as soon as I removed those barriers and let the other side in, it felt like something else opened up in me.  The truth is we never experience the same version of a person that others might so until we have the opportunity to form a decision on our own, we just need to take things at face value.  Without conversation and opening up, I would have missed an opportunity to form a connection with someone similar to me or to see facets of myself in this person.  Right now the world needs more bridges than anything and I am grateful to have thrown the first rope.

Today I am grateful for focus.  One of the side effects of that conversation mentioned above was the concept of focus.  Now, this is something I will repeat until I am blue in the face: we all need to remember that without focus we can’t make progress.  We will move, but it won’t be progressive.  During the course of the conversation, it truly helped to have someone understand exactly what I was talking about when it came to the desperation to make a move but that it was so desperate that I moved in multiple ways at once.  I created my own confusion out of that desperation, because when we are desperate there is no real path forward, it is only about movement.  The discussion I mentioned above brought a validation of sorts in that I wasn’t crazy for the initial feeling to get going but it was also validation of the support I needed and had expected from people I initially thought would be more supportive.  Not that I needed constant cheerleading, but some excitement and belief in what I was doing as is the normal course of friendship isn’t too much to ask.  And the truth is there is something to be said when there is an innate understanding from people and we don’t have to explain anything else.  That connection wouldn’t have happened without conversation.  It’s nice to not feel crazy—no one likes to feel crazy.  And all that takes is a little openness, honesty, and assurance that there are our people out there, we just need to take a chance sometimes.

Today I am grateful to put aside fear.  This is something I have fought for years, something I fight nearly every day.  The need for permission and to not anger people is so deeply engrained that I have made a mess of my life keeping all the balls in the air—many of them aren’t even mine.  I’m a fixer and a people pleaser so it is never too much for me to take on another task and that is something I need to stop especially when it is for the sake of someone else’s approval.  I eventually created such a mess of my life trying to clean up everyone else’s that I couldn’t see my own path.  That eventually became resentment and wasting my time telling other people how to live their lives so I wouldn’t have to clean up after them anymore that I just ran around the mountain instead of leaving things behind and walking up that mountain on my own.  Fear at its core is designed to keep us safe—but sometimes safety means inaction and waiting for the right moment and if we wait too long or spend too much time critical and directing others, we keep ourselves where we are.  So we need to put aside the fear of connection, the fear of failing, the fear of anything that keeps us where we are and simply take the first step.            

Today I am grateful to put aside fear and decide to focus—there is an overarching point to this.  I’ve realized that much of my fear about other people’s opinions, the perception of success, the idea of what I am supposed to do has prevented me from focusing at all.  I claim I want to do all of these creative pursuits and make my life look a certain way, and while I take the initial steps to do it, as soon as something from my old life calls, I am right back to it.  For example, at work there is one area that I really don’t enjoy engaging in and I have told myself repeatedly that I want to focus on a different area.  The problem is that the area I don’t enjoy unfortunately has a lot of visibility in the company so when my attention is needed there, even if I’m in the middle of doing something that I really want to for the space I love, I have to stop what I’m doing and work on the other area—and I do it with the intent of making sure people see I didn’t ignore/forget/delay anything for that high visibility area.  Here is a prime example in my personal life as well: I have a bunch of side projects in addition to a deal I’m working on for my writing, and I ended up bringing home work from my 9-5.  I had no real intention of doing anything with it, but I have it in case someone needs me to do something with it.  In the course of the conversation I am referencing, I was told that the only way to move forward is to focus and pick one thing so we are 100% all in.  And when we focus that is when we see movement in the direction we want.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead. 

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat,” Theodore Roosevelt.  I spoke about this years ago and on the heels of our conversation about stepping boldly into who we are, this is the perfect context.  We go for things, we fail, we try, we fail again.  Then we push through and we learn and we apply what we learn and we shape the life we are meant to have through these lessons, these trials, these failures and triumphs.  We become who we are meant to be through connecting with what we know and through the grand experiment of alchemizing passion and purpose into presence and performance. 

There will always be those who talk—we all have words, few have the action required to back them up.  I found my timidness came when those who didn’t know the details I did opened their mouths to speak louder than I could.  I foolishly allowed myself to be silenced and to question what I already knew.  My path was clear and I put these people in my way because I weighted their words higher than my intuition and knowing.  Talk means little—action is what creates.  There will always be those on the sidelines who know better than we do.  Those are the voices that we silence and drown out.  Do not allow those who refuse to do the work be the ones to determine our next steps or what we do.  Criticism from those determined to create disruption means less than nothing.  It is our drive and dedication and determination and belief that matter.  It is our course that matters and sometimes we need to learn to ignore everything around us and simply stick with what we know is right for us.  No one can tell us that—and that is something no one tells us.  Yes, the environment we live in and choose shapes us but that doesn’t mean that is what we have to be.  We were born with the map inside of us, the knowing that puts us on the path we were meant to have.  Don’t ignore that direction for the sake of someone who never even left the house.

I let those determined to cut me down win for a long time.  I thought I had to play nice and be who other people told me to be.  I still struggle to find my voice with what I need to express.  I am still outvoted much of the time when I do express my voice.  But the realization is hitting now more than ever, especially after the exposure I’ve had this past weekend, that those who have no idea what we are doing, what we are called to do are often the first ones to tell us it can’t be done.  Those wrapped in their little cocoons, safe in the knowledge of their safety are quick to point out the flaws of those who have journeyed beyond what they can see.  They weren’t born with the same map so we can’t expect them to know where we are going.  Don’t let someone steer when they can’t even see the road.  So the point is this: there will always be critics, there will always be voices out there telling us what we can’t do or what we should do.  The only voice that matters is the one that KNOWS what we are supposed to do and that can only be found within.  When we are called to take a leap of faith into something that doesn’t make sense, we can trust that we will learn to fly.  That leap of faith is the calling to greatness, the calling to be who we are meant to be.  Forget the critics and trust the path.   

Driving home from that Sunday dinner, Chris and I had a conversation about before we were together right to that transition when we were together.  We met so young and we’ve been through a lot but he had such a different life before we became we.  We started talking about darts in particular because he was playing darts on Saturday night and he told me how much he used to play prior to us getting together.  I knew he was always social but I didn’t realize how many different things he actually used to be involved in.  He’s always been magnetic, always attracted a lot of people, always social, always on the move.  I feel like he stopped so much of that when we got together and I know he did.  I was afraid of everything he was doing behind my back because of his “socialness” and his socialness.  But as he told these stories, as we talked about people from his past and from ours, how our paths crossed repeatedly but we were always in our own lanes, I realized how very much we have forgotten about that time as well.  Ironic considering I am writing a book about many of those past events.  But there was always this side to it: his side.  I never wanted to hear it because I was stuck in the righteousness of being wronged by him.  I was stuck in the needing to express myself and have my needs met for the sacrifices I made for him with no regard for who I was as a person.  I needed to hear these stories so I could be reminded that he was this person and he too sacrificed some of that when we became we.  I needed to have that integration of the person he was so I could understand who I am. 

I took control to the next level with him and I can fully admit that now.  It was ENTIRELY a defense mechanism.  I never had any desire to make him do my bidding or anything like that—the control came from the fact that I fell harder for him than he did for me and he wasn’t as committed, and I felt that every step of the way.  I foisted that control because I saw an outcome for us that he didn’t.  And I know that as much as I lost myself, he lost parts of himself too. Now we are trying to find who we are while we are still together.  But somehow this felt different.  I didn’t feel strangled by the memories or threatened by them.  I was curious.  I was curious about who we would be if we were both fully who we are.  I was also fascinated by the difference in the detail we remember from that time.  23 years is a lifetime.  We’ve been together longer than we were alive when we first got together.  We’ve literally had a lifetime.  The reality is I want to let go of the guilt or the fear that I forced him to stay with me and I want to let go of the guilt for making him make these amends all these years. The story has never changed and now we are working on that.

I’ve felt a little lost over the last few weeks.  Things I’ve been working on seem to be going in circles, not quite on the trajectory I had hoped.  There’s a lot of effort for little return at the moment and many things vying for my attention.  Basically, not much was coming together how I thought it would have and I got really tired and confused and, frankly, stuck.  I allowed the negative momentum to hit me even in spaces that I have been incredibly focused on like my health—and naturally I felt like crap.  It’s challenging to keep the spirits up when the effort seems to stagnate or outright spiral down and I got to the point I had no energy at all and wanted to do NOTHING.  I couldn’t write, my thoughts didn’t seem to want to come together, I didn’t know who to hang out with, plans seemed futile even for things I had been looking forward to doing.  I didn’t want to go to work and I didn’t want to do anything around the house either.  Everything felt like it was out of place, like that square wheel—it moves forward but certainly not without extra effort.  I can’t say it was a rock bottom moment or anything, but I felt pretty confused and low. Those moments can make it difficult to continue and when they happen with frequency across many areas, it makes it even more challenging.  Like, we have all these ideas and no way to bring them to fruition.

So the universe works in some funny ways, sending us reminders and messages, so often in unexpected places, unexpected ways, from unexpected people.  This confusion has lasted for months now, progressively getting worse but always working in waves as we’ve spent so much time in limbo this year.  We arrived at this past weekend and I expected nothing different—I knew it was going to be a busy weekend, but I didn’t expect anything different—but you know what they say about lightning striking.  I took an extra day off work to celebrate Halloween with my family and friends and to get some of my projects done around the house.  We spent time with our friends on Halloween, and I noticed the group further expanding and integrating—and instead of getting angry/jealous like I had been previously, I listened to what was happening and I recognized the value in connecting and networking—not that this is a revelation, but it helped me finally put aside some of the ego struggles I’ve been having and we had a great time that night.  I spent Friday with friends making Christmas gifts and that perspective also changed: Insecurity leads to power struggles and there are times we have to stop fighting for power and just learn from each other.  Recognize the value we have and understand that even fi relationships change, it doesn’t mean they were ever false or tainted.  Plus that night was a great reminder of creativity and ingenuity.          

Saturday was spent with friends at the holiday market and it was nice to reconnect with some people I had been feeling a bit distant from—we’ve been having some power struggles and I have been feeling completely excluded at times.  Given the events of Friday, I put aside my ego and did my best to stay open and we had a really nice time.  We then went to my brother’s for a little bit to celebrate his birthday and I watched my son have a great time with his uncle out on the farm, completely free, and my brother relax enough to have fun.  We got back early afternoon and ended up at some friend’s house—I had a lovely conversation with a friend’s mother, got a book from another, and then we ended the night all together in the garage of a third friend with the same group we had started with that morning.  I listened and learned a lot about one of the group and saw how freakin’ strong they are; from surviving disease, to building businesses, to standing on their own in their choices, I saw how surrounded I am by strength and determination.  I also found my own strength and voiced what had held me back in the beginning of my relationship with one of them—I told her the entire truth about my concerns and my perception.  She never knew what happened, and speaking with her, she voiced her appreciation for telling her what was actually happened.    

Sunday night came around and we had a dinner planned with family that came in from Minnesota. This is when things finally started to click for me.  We started talking about the family history and where we came from and the memories came flooding back.  In spite of all the fears and anxiety on that particular side of the family, they too took the chance and started lives for themselves.  I listened to stories with the same theme repeated over and over: we had a vision and we followed it and we created success.  We sacrificed certain things but we always came back to what we knew in our hearts and followed what we were meant to do.  The family had drive and spirit and followed their instincts—always.  Everyone started on a leap of faith, often with nothing more than said faith.  These things are in the blood.  The creative desire, the drive, the action, the calling, the purpose, the will and the want to do something different for ourselves.  I’m not just saying it’s in our blood, it’s in everyone.  But what clicked for me that night is that I am SURROUNDED by living examples of strength, entrepreneurship, survival, hope, tenacity, creativity, joy, independence, courage, directness, will, purpose, and power.  So many examples in one weekend that the message leapt out at me: there is nothing holding me back but me—take the damn leap and forget the rest.  Stop hesitating and live my life. 

The only reason it’s been stagnant and confused is because I let it get that way, trying to make a particular outcome out of a crappy situation.  Let it go, let the situation drown and allow myself to swim.  Remember who I am and remember the examples of who I am with—if we are the sum of those we surround ourselves with, then I am all of those things as well.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded—keep going even if it seems dark or confusing or all lost—it isn’t.  We know who we are, always—don’t let anyone convince us we don’t.  Just stick it out and be steadfast in who we are and soon the answers make sense because they were the answers we already knew.  We didn’t need anyone to tell us otherwise.  We simply needed to get rid of the noise telling us we had no idea.  There is a time to stop and gather our bearings and there is a time to push forward trusting our balance will kick in.  Sometimes the universe throws us off kilter so we can discover the balance again, so we can redirect, so we can remember that it isn’t about comfort, it’s about maintaining our path.  The lessons come from all those who came before us and in those we surround ourselves with, in our instincts and in what feels right.  Don’t ignore any of that.  We are never lost if we know where we come from.    

“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position,” John C. Maxwell.  I want to talk about this a bit because we are on the precipice of great change.  We are at a point in history where everyone is looking for freedom and the ability to lead their own lives and make their own decisions while simultaneously continuing to operate under the paradigm that we need control and leadership over all systems.  I don’t pretend for a second that we would successfully operate in a society where we let go of all rules and everyone did exactly as they wanted—but I also don’t pretend that the way our current leadership, structure, and systems operate is successful.  We no longer need the type of leadership that tells us what to do at all times and feeds off of its citizens as legalized slaves, their energy spent protecting a system rather than the people.  We also don’t need the type of system that allows for everyone to do whatever they want whenever they want regardless of what it does to other people.  We’ve operated under the idea that those are the only choices for too long.  There are never just two choices, never just two sides. 

The truth is there is a middle.  We need freedom to be who we are and to operate our lives as we see fit and we also need mechanisms in place that allow for people to thrive in who they are.  We also need mechanisms in place to protect people and help guide people when they need to figure it out—but this is more a way to help people figure out where their skills and talents fit in, how we complement each other.  We need to let go of the search for power because this has more to do with maintaining power in our own lives while cooperating with others.  Until we learn to work with each other we will always seek power over each other.  Until we understand that we have the ability to change things, we will always seek power over each other.  Until we learn to trust and see the bigger picture, we will always seek power over each other.  A leader isn’t someone who tells us what to do, no a leader is someone who helps us navigate the course of our lives so we get to where we are meant to be.  A leader helps us achieve a common goal that allows us to play our part. 

Human nature balks at the idea of someone telling us what to do with every facet of our lives and we are all rallying now to determine who will be the best person to tell us what is right and wrong.  That is far too much power to put on one person.  Yes, that may have been necessary in the infancy and early stages of development (whether it’s an infant or a country, please see that parallel), but we are well-evolved and past the point where we need that level of interference.  We are also past the point where we can pretend that what once worked still does.  We need to take back the idea that we are in control of our lives and that we aren’t serving a person, or a country—we are serving each other.  When it comes down to it, human nature is cooperative.  Yes, we still have survival instincts, but we innately understand that working together helps us all do better.  We need to remember that regardless of what leadership is in place, we are more than capable of leading ourselves and that we have the power to change things.  Position means nothing—we are all leaders.  As Robin Sharma says, we do not need a title to lead—we lead our own lives.  Be the people we are meant to be and remember that we are for each other, not for a broken, antiquated system.  Support each other, care for each other, and we allow who we are to shine as brightly as possible.  Tough times create strength—so no matter where we fall today, remember that we are stronger together.