Saturday’s post spoke of honoring who we really are by acknowledging our seasons, knowing where we are at in life and accepting that place with ease.  Gabby Bernstein talks about surrender a lot, and if you’ve been reading this work for a while you know that I struggle with the idea of surrender.  I hate the idea of giving up, that I wasn’t able to get it right on my own.  But understanding seasons and seeing how life shifts makes me look at surrender differently.  The seasons change and we can do nothing about it.  We don’t want to do anything about it because we accept it as the natural part of life.  The same is said for us.  We go through the same seasons, the same cycles as anything else.  Surrender can be about going with the flow.  Bernstein states it isn’t about giving up, it’s about giving over.  We would no sooner fight the changing seasons, why do we fight those changes in ourselves?  The sooner we recognize who we are and what we need, the sooner the universe can align and deliver—so give over the need for control and allow your seasons to come.

I admit that surrender can be a lot of work to do it all on our own—and this is where trust comes in.  We have to believe that giving over will be better than standing in our own way.  There comes a point where we have to trust either other people or a higher power to assist us on our way.  We aren’t designed to do things on our own, rather, we are meant to complement each other’s abilities and come together to create something better.  We have to stop controlling every detail because we are controlling our lives into existence rather than allowing them to exist.  Life isn’t about control.  For example, we are fully in Spring now by almost a month and we’ve had 80 degree days already (the past two days in a row), the trees are blooming, and they are calling for snow tonight.  Life is tumultuous at times but we can no sooner change those seasons any sooner than we would change the weather.

The weather moves, nature adapts, we go with it, and the most beautiful thing about it is that it ALWAYS works out.  It doesn’t matter what it is, even in the worst of circumstances, things always work out.  There is resilience in change and there is emergence in change.  Life isn’t stagnant and in order to bring out who we are, there are times we have to ride out the storms.  We have to take where we are at face value—it isn’t about what we feel, it’s about who we are and what’s happening.  When we do that, we see truth and we can make informed decisions, we can see which way to go.  The path becomes clear.  It’s the same with alignment.  When we see the options in front of us, when we give over a plan that doesn’t seem to be working, when we take our hands off the wheel, it can be scary for a bit, but things right themselves.  Trust that there is something there that will get you in the right direction if you let it.  Allow that support, allow what is to unfold, allow the truth and ease to enter.  The rest takes care of itself.     

Today I am grateful for choosing myself.  There have been some odd incidents in the neighborhood lately, people behaving differently than they normally do and saying nothing is wrong.  You ever have one of those moments when someone tells you it’s all fine and you know it’s not?  Yeah…it’s like that.  So my husband and I decided to remove ourselves from the situation.  We’ve said all along that we wouldn’t get involved and we had found ourselves in the middle—so we decided to stop that.  We simply didn’t engage with either party.  It was uncomfortable at first, but then it felt right. I was able to do more of my thing rather than worry about how someone else would interpret my actions.  That’s next level self-reinforcement there.  Always choose yourself.

Today I am grateful for trusting my instincts.  Full transparency and a bit of disclosure, I haven’t taken action yet, but I KNOW something is brewing around me—both at home and at work.  I can’t put my finger on it but I know something is going on with the people around me and there is about to be some sort of announcement/confession.  In that vein, I’ve taken a step back with the emotion and I’ve managed to focus on the work that needs to be done—there is always something that needs to be done.  My instincts have told me to let go of the worry because what’s coming IS coming.  There is no avoiding it so sitting here and putting myself through the misery multiple times serves no point.  My instincts tell me to keep going and that all will unfold soon. 

Today I’m grateful for pivoting a step in my self-care.  I’ve been hyper-fixated on fixing me, on exposing flaws, on doing the work to “Get Better.”  I’ve sought answers everywhere and I’ve ridden this roller coaster of feeling better and feeling worse for ages—it’s making me sick.  So, it hit me that, at this point, I’ve been trying to fix myself for so long that I’m laying on the floor in pieces with no guide on how to get back together.  It’s time to rely on a little bit of trust and faith.  I’ve reached a point there isn’t much else I can DO, I need to ALLOW.  I need to feel safe.  I’ve sought security for a long time and all of those external things I thought would make me feel better have become more things to maintain and care for.  This is different.  I need to find my wings—remember the bird and the branch and know that it isn’t the branch that makes me safe, it’s my ability to fly.  So, here’s to finding what I’ve been looking for: my inner-security. 

Today I am grateful for surprises.  My son had his first play this past week.  Once I got over the fact that my baby is not a baby and he now has speaking lines in plays at school, it hit me how unbelievably talented my kid is.  He’s only 6 and his enthusiasm showed in every song he sang, he remembered every word, he spoke clearly into the microphone, and he danced his little heart out.  Not trying to be a stage mom, but come on!  I was so proud of him.  I asked if he liked being in plays when it was over and he emphatically said, “YES!”  My heart warmed—I acted when I was younger as well.  It hit me again how this child is a perfect mix of my husband and me.  How cool is that? How lucky am I to witness that? 

Today I am grateful for help.  I know that I can’t do it all on my own, and honestly, I’m grateful to realize that I no longer want to do it on my own.  For so long I ended up doing things myself because other people either refused, or it was on a timeline that didn’t work for them, or they didn’t understand what I needed.  This happened a lot at work.  I’ve taken the stance that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink.  I’ve also taken the stance that, as a leader, I can only tell people the same thing so many times before I need to take action that holds them accountable rather than do it for them.  It’s empowering to empower others and it’s liberating to put accountability where it belongs.  That goes for anyone anywhere.

Today I am grateful for family.  I spent some time with my parents this weekend and I am always reminded how fortunate I am to have them.  Times are changing and soon they are going to need me more, and I’m grateful for these moments we can simply share that time WITH each other.  I’m grateful my son is so happy to be with them.  I’m also grateful to see that the steps I’m taking to secure a different future are going to benefit them.  One of my goals is still to repay them and make sure they are taken care of.  Time is precious and getting that time with them matters.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

Just a quick snippet of how aligning with frequency works.  The universe has infinite ways of telling us what we need to do.  It has infinite ways, feelings, frequencies, messages, signals, WHATEVER you want to call it for getting our attention.  I never learned to trust my decision making ability so for ages (probably longer than I would like to admit…or maybe I don’t want to admit I still do it) I would look for outside ways to confirm my choices.  I would do things like ask to see a hawk, or find a certain number, or even have a certain number of red skittles in a bag.  Yes, I’d even consult the Magic 8 ball believing it was some type of sign from the universe.  Quite frankly I’d drive myself crazy looking for the proof that what I wanted was coming.  Even more disheartening, I’d find a positive sign and then it wouldn’t happen. 

In spite of all that, I still held out hope and I still look for signs.  The other day I was eating some candy and was thinking of how I always chose Strawberry as my indicator that good things were coming.  I said to myself, “You’ve really been enjoying citrus lately, maybe you’re not getting what you want because you’re asking for confirmation in a way that doesn’t align with who you are now.  Just because you liked strawberry then doesn’t mean you have to like it that way forever.”  As soon as I opened the candy, I saw it was two lemon flavored pieces.  Now, I’m not sure if what I was thinking about will ever come to fruition, but one part of the thought did: in order to receive what we want we have to be in alignment with the truth of what we desire.  We have to choose who we are and be honest about it.

We spoke of frequency yesterday and we need to know the Universe can’t deliver if we aren’t aligned.  We can’t say we want something and then do something else expecting to get what we said we wanted.  A few months back, I wrote that we can’t say we want to go to Bali and book a ticket to Florida hoping to get to Bali—the universe doesn’t work like that.  This is also a reminder that we aren’t meant to be the same person forever.  We grow and adapt, and I was raised by people who believed that once we made the decision of who we are, that was it, you stuck with your choices.  But life moves forward and we learn and with closer examination of who we are, with allowing who we are to surface, we know that we change.  We are meant to change. What served then doesn’t necessarily serve now, our needs change and the things we like, the person we truly are emerges—and liking citrus over strawberry is a small but prime example.  Be honest about our changes, honor the season we are in, and watch life unfold.

I read a piece discussing the topic that belief is the enemy of knowing.  Essentially the discussion was that there are times you are going to have to believe to see.  The discussion then went into how this means we need to choose our beliefs carefully.  Yesterday we discussed the idea that choosing our frequency, understanding that we are worthy to follow our dreams means shifting perspective and knowing we are able to match the frequency.  This ties in: you have to match the frequency of what you believe.  You will only ever get what you think is possible. 

The problem is we often believe we know already and we are told what to know from day one.  Similarly, we are told what to believe.  We are informed what life is like from our parents and we develop routines with them.  We are sent to school to learn about what has happened from one perspective.  We are even told what to believe spiritually.  We are never trained to listen, to hear what our inner knowing tells us.  Those beliefs shadow what we know.  If we are to change frequency, if we are to believe in something else, we need to know it’s possible.  We need to know we can do it.  The only real belief we need is the belief in ourselves and in our ability to adapt and achieve what we know is possible.

I ended yesterday’s piece talking about stepping into who we are, and this is the same.  If we are to get somewhere new, that means navigating to places no one has been.  It means drawing the map, and that requires a deep connection with who we are, that inner knowing of where we are going.  It isn’t believing it because we see it, it’s believing it because we know it’s possible.  While there are times it seems an insurmountable feat, it is possible to select our thoughts.  Sometimes experience changes the thoughts we have.  Sometimes we have to trust it came to us to be the steward of fulfilling it.  If we can change the frequency of our beliefs, we can change the course of our lives.  All it takes is radical belief that something new can happen for us, and our knowing shifts. 

“Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get it,” Einstein.  Clarity of intention and defining what you want begins with bringing light to our authentic self.  It means understanding our worth and developing our purpose out of our gifts.  The things we want, want us, and if we feel that call inside, it is our responsibility to answer it.  We spoke last week about how few answer the call.  Do not let that voice go quietly.  Do not let the external noise, the voices of others, the demands of a society that doesn’t fully understand you, silence what is within you.  If we hear the call, be bold enough to step into the frequency of that level.  Tell it, “Yes you can” and work toward whatever that may be.  Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “Yes,” and being open to receiving.   

Those are two tricky facets: hearing the truth and being open to actually getting it.  People pleasing, social constructs, images we need to uphold all get in the way of diving deep enough to understand what the inner workings of our souls are saying.  It takes a LOT of work to break out of the energy we are in because we are so engrained and trained to simply do what we have always done.  Changing frequency is not for the weak by any means.  Hearing what we actually need requires a different level of quiet, one that noise cancelling headphones do nothing for.  In a world that demands we control everything around us, it means controlling the voice within us.  It means letting go of what we know in favor of what we KNOW, if that makes sense.  Then it means being patient enough or open enough to receive it.   

There is a point where we hear the call but we also need to remember that we are worthy of the things we desire.  It isn’t selfish, wasteful, or egotistical to respond to our gifts.  We were given these things for a reason, not to put them on the shelf until they wither away unused.  Our gifts aren’t meant to be wasted, they are meant to be developed and shared.  Tell the universe we want more and believe we are worthy of receiving it.  It’s being in favor of the idea that we can do something other than what has been done before. The world is meant to evolve and us with it.  There is very real anthropological proof of evolution through time, and proof of the cultural evolution/revolution as well.  Why wouldn’t we be part of that?  We are all here because someone decided to take the chance and develop a thought, to chase a dream.  We can do the same.  Find the frequency, and jump into it.  It isn’t about keeping status quo any longer, as if our ancestors created this to be a lasting thing.  Now is the time to move forward again.  Break the mold, step into who we are. 

I mentioned a friend of mine had surgery the other day and that I’ve been spending time with her during recovery.  I admire her strength in this journey because, even though it was a common surgery, it was a life altering procedure, and she has taken it well.  I know the physical toll over the years has weighed on her, so I’m getting the sense that she was ready for this procedure rather than fearing or lamenting it, but there is still a lot to process when your body changes.  But what has stood out to me is how we’ve come together, her and I, her family, our mutual friends to support her through this.  What really stood out to me has been her partnership with her husband.  This isn’t a piece to bash my husband, but it was a revelation in something I’m looking for.

My husband is a good man, a good person. He’s often the first to help his friends when they ask.  He’s smart, he is talented to a scary degree—I’ve never seen anyone who can watch a video on ANY topic and be able to replicate the result—it doesn’t matter what the topic is, he can do it (I’m completely jealous of that).  The problem is he wasn’t raised to recognize that in himself so he doesn’t believe in what he can do and it makes him hesitant to go after what he really wants because he doesn’t think he can get it.  Because of that, we often spend time fighting over our needs.  He isn’t always able to identify the real need behind his need for validation and attention (the real need is belief in himself) and that lack of awareness makes it hard for him to identify my needs as his partner.  My love language switches, but one that I constantly land on is acts of service.  I’m not asking for servitude, but it means the world to me when my partner sees that I need help and steps in.  I don’t want to beg for help with the basics.  We both use the dishes, we can both do the dishes, especially if you’re home 6 hours before me.  But seeing my friends’ relationship, I see something deeper as well: a true knowing of each other, a real partnership. 

I see a genuine love there, a care for his partner where if she does better, he does better.  Taking care of her isn’t a chore or an obligation, it’s something he wants to do.  They want to make each other better and he is more than willing to do his part because she needs it at the moment.  He doesn’t expect 50/50 right now, he just picks up what needs to be done.  He shows this in the attention he gives her with what she says she needs AND with what she doesn’t.  She and I had been talking in the weeks prior and I’d been sending her messages of support, saying she’s got this up until her procedure.  He knew it meant a lot to her so he bought her a notebook with, “I got this” on it for when she got out of surgery.  I’m grateful to see that because it reminds me of the little things my husband does for me and how important they are, and that is a foundation of support I want to create with him.  I can give that as well.   

The other side of this is that we can’t rely on our partners to give us what we need.  We need to know how to care for ourselves, we need to understand what we need, we need to know how to explain what we need, and we need to know how to walk away when those needs aren’t being met.  Clearly I’m not talking about silly demands, I’m talking about the real needs that we help our partners with.  I’m talking about the deepest parts of ourselves.  Our partner isn’t meant to make us happy, they are meant to create with us.  We are meant to build things together and to support each other because when one does better the other does better.  We lift each other up.  It isn’t about fulfilling each other’s needs, it’s about complementing them.  That is a beautiful relationship.  I’m grateful to see where I need to shore up my responsibilities to my partner, and I’m grateful to see where I want to expand.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of Self-Harm

I was raised with a fairly skewed definition of ego.  Celebrating our accomplishments was not something we ever did.  We barely celebrated birthdays.  There were rarely moments we would spotlight anyone because it was unspoken that it wasn’t right, that other people deserved it more.  I spent so much of my youth people pleasing, getting good grades, asking if I was good enough, trying to get the highest achievements, trying to be the best so that maybe it would be celebrated.  It isn’t that I craved the spotlight (although there were some real circumstances where I did), I just wanted to know that I was good enough.  As I’m doing the healing work, I struggle with any spotlight on me, even if it is deserved.  Quite frankly the definition of what I deserve is also skewed—I will always find someone who “deserves” it more than I do.  But I still look for ways to be recognized.

It took me a long time to work through wanting recognition and feeling like it was only ego.  The truth is we all have a point where we need to be heard and seen.  It isn’t necessarily about being the best—but I was trained that only the best deserve recognition.    That left me wanting to be heard and/or seen for anything I did and I wanted to be the best so I could be heard or seen.  Ironically even if I was the best, I was basically told, “Good, what’s next?” The real me was never allowed out simply because the best version of me was all that was allowed out.  The authentic voice was locked away and told to be quiet early on, but the need to be heard and seen as my true self never went away.  As I got older, my mind catastrophized any mistake I made to the point I rejected any mistake and started cutting and I cut for over 10 years.  My brain could NOT process imperfection but it couldn’t understand that it was struggling with imperfection, so I took out my internal frustrations physically to have a reason for the hurt, the failure, the rejection, whatever it was.      

I struggle daily with liking myself.  That’s partially why I do this work, why I share these stories—I NEVER want anyone to feel like their authenticity is something to be ashamed of, like they are unheard or that they need to be perfect to be heard.  No one needs to earn the right to express who they are.  EVERYONE has value and needs to share that.  If I can make sure others remember that in themselves, it feels good.  The definition of ego is changing and I see there is a difference between ego and honoring self.  The difference lies in surrender.  Ego says we have to be right, be perfect, be on top, that we need to earn our way.  Honoring self says we can take our hands off the wheel and we will get where we are meant to be.  The work I do is to give that distinction and to spread some hope that our light is important and needed.  It’s not ego to share who we are—it’s ego to control the situation to make sure everyone likes who we are.

When we suppress that inner voice, it finds new ways to be heard.  Ways that seem like they will claw their way out of us if necessary.  Rather than bury who wo are, or hide that part in shame, we have to start asking it what it wants.  Sometimes it isn’t even to have the world see it, it’s simply for us to shine a light on it and let it know we hear it, that we know it’s there.  It wants to be integrated into what we do.  And no, these voices aren’t necessarily flashy—that voice may want you to cook an amazing meal for yourself and share how you take care of your physical form.  It isn’t how big the light is, it’s simply to bring light to it.  We all have gifts, we are all worthy, and we all have a voice that needs to be heard.  We are meant to be heard.  We are meant to teach each other.  Don’t let anyone convince us otherwise. 

I’m reading Glow in the F*cking Dark by Tara Schuster and she talks about work she’s done with her therapist to reach the truth, the reality of her emotions.  I didn’t realize how often we mistake one feeling for another, or how often we label what is really underneath as something else.  For example, the body stats expressing some form of frustration or anxiety when we really feel anger but we say that we are frustrated or anxious.  We are trained to not show what’s really underneath so we suppress it enough until other things start to tweak us out for lack of a better word.  We are trained to not express honest emotion truthfully and that lack of expression does weird stuff to the body, mind, and soul; there is also a socially accepted emotion to express, ie, frustrated is accepted while anger is not, because anger is irrational for women.  That is when we start to feel lost or feel a lack of trust in ourselves and the universe.  We are training ourselves that our instincts aren’t real, that what we feel isn’t real—the reality is we lie outwardly about the inward happenings and that is what creates chaos internally AND externally.

Schuster also discusses the work she has done with her therapist to identify the real emotion underlying our outward expression.  The exercise that stood out to me was backing up the current emotion until you can dig deep enough to see what the real issue is.  She specifically calls out that when we are anxious, it isn’t always because we are anxious.  IS there a physical reason (clothing too tight which makes our heart race, did we drink too much caffeine, are we trying to meet unrealistic expectations—ours or other’s).  Once we give light to what we actually feel, we have ground to process the emotion.  We can’t work with what’s really happening if we don’t see what’s really happening.  If we operate like that we end up putting band-aids over the wound instead of sutures and that wound will continue opening until we figure out how to fix it. 

My own example of finding the real emotion is the outward expression of intense anxiety.  I struggle with it every day, and we all know some days are better than others.  But last night when I was reading about digging to the root, the real issue, I had a breakthrough of sorts.  I’m anxious for logistical reasons:  my attention is pulled in too many directions and I’m operating under unreal expectations.  I am not exaggerating when I say I haven’t been able to finish a work project in a day in months because my teams are working on different things.  I am also anxious for soul reasons: I feel the essence of who I am has been ignored, and I am tired of being ignored.  That was the part I thought was ego at first (of course some of it is ego, there is no life and death reason in this day and age to NEED to be heard), but I realized it is from the soul.  The ego wants to be seen, but the soul NEEDS to be seen.  We need to be given the opportunity to show our highest self, and when that part of us isn’t heard, it’s devastating.  No wonder I’m frustrated outwardly.  Inwardly, I’m FURIOUS.  Why am I denying the truth of myself to be seen, why are people walking all over me?  Physically I feel invisible because of my stature—emotionally and spiritually, I can’t stand being unseen. 

It’s incredibly powerful work to find that root.  It was around midnight when I read the passage about this exercise in Schuster’s book and a burning warmth started spreading in my heart and stomach.  That is my sign that I’ve hit a point that speaks to me, a point that hurts but it’s a truth.  Knowing I’m angry and knowing why I’m angry allows me to redefine the issue.  Yes, I have very real cause for anxiety and that can be rectified with some new decisions about the direction of my life.  No one can operate under that kind of stress for long, the mind isn’t meant to be torn like that.  But the anger is what has done me in.  The anger has caused confusion and hurt, and not processing that I AM angry created chaos in my mind because I didn’t think I was allowed to be angry.  I confused the need to be heard and seen with ego.  It wasn’t my physical being that needed to be seen, it was my soul.  It feels much better understanding this now.  What are you really feeling?

Today I am grateful for resilience.  I spent a lot of time avoiding hard things because I really didn’t think I could handle it.  What would happen if I messed up?  How would I fix it if it broke?  Who would actually be there to help me if it went wrong?  I couldn’t wrap my head around the benefit of aversity.  I still struggle with it a bit, but I do see the value now.  In adversity, in working the muscles we don’t normally use (whether physical, mental, spiritual, financial), we develop a strength.  We learn new ways to adapt and new ways to handle different situations.  More importantly, we develop our resilience.  We learn that the body and spirit are far more capable of handling things than we knew.  We are fed a line that life is either meant to be super hard or that it is meant to be easy—but there is a middle ground.  The reality is we need challenge to develop ourselves, but there is a sweet spot of ease in there.  I am grateful for learning the resilience and the true capacity of what I’m capable of. 

Today I am grateful for nature.  Yesterday my husband, son, and I worked in the yard.  We are prepping for the summer, for growing our little garden, and for the long germ with our yard in general.  I hadn’t been outside like that in months.  I haven’t worked in the earth since last year.  I didn’t realize how much I missed it and how much I needed it.  It was a real communion with the Earth. As I pulled weeds (the non-helpful ones), I felt myself sink in.  We looked up more plants that we want to have to help keep mosquitos away and how we want to place things.  Our yard is pretty plain at the moment, so it was just nice to look forward and see what we can get.  It was beautiful to be outside again.

Today I am grateful for surprises.  My son s turning into a little gamer and he is obsessed with Mario.  He’s been asking for a particular Mario game for quite a while and we finally found a copy at a reasonable price a bit farther out from our town.  We took a little adventure, and I realized that, even though it wasn’t that far, I had never really been to this place before.  The town surprised me and it seemed a bit like it was stuck in time.  Yes, everything was a bit newer, but it reminded me of when I was younger and going off on my own for the first time.  I can’t explain it.  There was the joy of seeing my son’s face, the kindness in his heart when he told me I could have the plushie he wanted, and then there was the nostalgia/excitement of being someplace new that seemed from a different era.  It was kind of trippy, but it was a great surprise for all of us.

Today I am grateful for patterns.  I’ve been struggling with breaking patterns and with finding the patterns I want to keep in my life.  I’ve been stuck in the same routine for years now, just trying to get through the day, but I’m seeing the transition to a more creative lifestyle requires thinking in different ways.  I’ve recognized what no longer fits, and while I am not at a point where I can actively do something about it, I can steer my ship in the direction of what I do want.  The formation of new patterns takes time, and seeing where I’m going helps me hone in on what feels right for me.  The patterns that need to take place in order to shift me toward the life I want are slowly but surely taking hold.  Where I was angry or frustrated before, I’m really bored.  I’m hearing the call for something else and I’m grateful to feel that.

Today I’m grateful for eliminating.  There is a thing for Spring cleaning that I didn’t feel before.  It was always nice to open the house and feel the change of the weather, but I have a deep urge to purge and eliminate now.  It’s time to construct the life I want and release the things that no longer serve.  I have a lot of attachment to things so this is a big step for me.  Trusting that I have no need of what I used before, stepping into myself, honoring who I was and seeing that who I am no longer needs to hold onto those things.  I’m not rampaging and getting rid of it all, no.  But I’m more carefully considering what I need in my life.  Going back to being in the yard, I’m seeing that I want to spend more time in the Earth and creating things than I want to accumulate more stuff.  It’s about creation, not consumption. 

Today I am grateful for truth.  I’ve been receiving feelings and signs that a truth of some sort is coming out but I couldn’t quite place my finger on what it would be.  Over the last few days, tensions have been building, kind of like a storm brewing.  All at once an issue with some friends came to a head and an issue with my husband and his family came to a head.  In both cases, it’s important to see the truth so you know who you want in your life, who supports you.  When it comes to my friends, we are all old enough to make our choices and to respect the choices of others.  If they don’t respect my choices then so be it.  When it comes to my husband and his family, he is now blatantly aware of where he stands.  While it’s painful, the same lesson on support applies.  Their actions have no impact on who we are/who he is.  Stand firm in our ground and allow others to show themselves.  The truth always comes out.  When we see it, believe it, and be grateful to know.  

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead! 

Another appropriate follow up to answering the call and understanding the message so we can follow and act on the call is letting go of what we think we are.  I follow certain card readers and I share the cards I pull every Monday through Friday.  This past week the topics seem to align with my favorite card readers and myself in that they were all talking about the destruction of ego, how ego has held us back—or even that the ego of others has held us back.  Let’s talk about what ego is.  Ego is the belief that our self knows better than all.  It’s the voice inside that tells us that we must succeed and show success at all costs.  The need to be right and define wrong based on our own terms.  It’s the voice that makes others wrong as well if they don’t conform to what we think is right.

In order to truly hear what we are meant to do and hear the voice and then to follow it requires the utmost humility to know that we need to pivot, to know that we have flaws and are fallible.  There is a point when we know we have to let go of what we’ve done in order to move on to what we need or are meant to do.  It’s simultaneously knowing the feeling that something is right for us but that we may not be approaching it the right way.  We need to alter how we do something in order to see it through to fruition.  The ego wants an “I” to be right where as our purpose and service to the world wants us to do what is right. 

I share this in the spirit of opening and allowing the message of what we are supposed to do and receive flow through us rather than suggesting to the universe that we know better, that we have control.  The only control we need is to stay the course, steer in the direction to where we’re going.  The how isn’t that important—and that is a huge revelation for me.  Letting go of how we get there is a significant mark in allowing the universe in and demonstrating the readiness we need to step forward into who we are, to fulfill that purpose.  Ego has nothing to do with fulfillment of our given purpose, when you are ready to let go of what you think you need to do, that is putting aside your agenda and opening to the bigger picture.  Let go and invite the wildest adventure in.