I recently took a personality test for work and it told me that my underlying need is to look good.  Not long ago I would have gotten pissed about it.  I mean, I always knew that on some level but it was like I didn’t want anyone else to know.  And then for a quiz on a computer to nail my personality in less than 20 questions…the audacity!  But this time it was more like, “Yep, that’s right”.   On the surface being told I worry about needing to look good is embarrassing and frustrating because, like everyone, there are reasons we operate how we operate.  For me it was never about physical appearance—I mean I liked appearing put together but I never worried about hair/makeup all that much.  I cared VERY deeply about being perceived as knowledgeable, competent, and trustworthy.  I can’t stand it when other people try to make it look like someone is incompetent, especially professionally.  The capability of the mind is hugely important to me, not so much looking pretty.  Perhaps looking in control, yes, but not looking good for the sake of looking good.    

The thing is this: if a computer test could pin down an underlying need so well and so quickly including attributes that were so right on including triggers and why we get that way then it is near certain that people can pick up on it as well.  Which made me realize we all have that signature thing that makes us who we are.  YES I KNOW—I’ve said it before but when it comes to embracing the good and the bad of who we are, that means knowing all facets of what we come across as.  When looking at certain art, houses, styles, clothing designs, hearing specific tones and songs, we know who it is instantly.  Or when we see that certain little figure in the store we know immediately is for that one person.  We get that feeling and we identify with something because that is who we are at our core and those around us know it as well.  Own those facets of our personality because that’s the stuff that needs to come through, that’s the stuff the world is looking for.  Sometimes we’ve called it a brand and behave as if our personality is something for us to manage and shape.  To some degree it is.  We hone those pieces to make them uniquely ours.  We can choose the facets of our underlying needs to address and improve upon and learn more about our innate habits.  We don’t know who we are until we face who we are.

That’s when we find our style.  I incorrectly looked at style as superficial for a long time.  I used to think of it as a fickle thing that changes so constantly it becomes inauthentic.  I thought it pertained to wanting to look a certain way and keeping up with trends that change faster than we can make them up.  The reality is that style encompasses so much more than just how we look.  It’s how we operate and navigate life.  It’s how we see things. It’s the things we do that show how we see things and what we believe in.  Style encompasses what we create and is the fullest expression of who we are.  I want to look good because I want people to know they can trust me because when I succeed we all succeed.  When I’m comfortable in my skin and functioning on all cylinders in my environment, that is when I do my best and being aware of what’s motivating me helps steer the ship.  That’s the same for all of us.  For some of us it takes longer to accept our style or to even find it and that’s ok.  Because when we do, it’s that near Cinderella moment where the shoe fits perfectly.  Wear that shoe well and flaunt it!