“Give the unexpected until it is expected,” Phil Beaudoin.  I respectfully disagree.  Beaudoin talks about how the only way to keep relevant is to continually raise the bar and, yes, there is merit to that. But to insinuate that our value and relevance only remains if we keep raising the bar, we lose sight of what’s important.  We SHOULD strive to improve and be better but that doesn’t mean the goal becomes how high we can raise the bar.  That’s the difference.  We’ve lost sight of the impact of true, purposeful work.  If we put our focus on continually being better than something—even if it’s our own expectations—we lose sight of doing the work well, with purpose, and with heart.  It’s proven continually that when we remove emotion and focus on results, something still lacks.  We can’t focus on one thing and expect another to thrive. If we focus solely on winning/being better, we won’t be focusing on sustainable growth.  Try blowing up a balloon past its capacity and it explodes and there is no coming back from that.  We have to start over.  Energy flows where attention goes so intention is important.  If we give with the intention of getting back, the universe can tell.  But if we give with the intention of mutual/mass improvement, that stirs the pot differently.

Truth be told, I do like Beaudoin’s sentiment because there’s still the ring of alchemizing and manifestation to it.  When we act as if something is happening, it is more likely to happen so if we create an environment that people aren’t used to, eventually a new precedent is set.  I prefer this in the context of self growth more than the business minded aspect (Beaudoin was referring to business).  If we raise our own bar and practice living in a way conducive to something we’re trying to create, then that becomes a reality.  Things that only seemed possible are now here.  I take issue with the idea that in order for the system to thrive and grow, the people need to feed it at their own expense.  The system is not a thing—it’s a series of actions we set up to support people yet we’ve made it a living entity that only those at the top benefit from.  I’m not saying helping people is devoid of effort, I’m saying helping doesn’t have to hurt one to benefit another.  We set the expectations for ourselves and for how people treat us, so yes, we can go above and beyond what people feel.  I just don’t feel it’s a requirement that equates to worth.

Giving is a privilege, it truly is.  There is no feeling like giving something we can share that helps people or makes them feel special/appreciated/happy.  But we can’t undervalue the little things.  We can’t ignore the importance of presence with others, time spent paying attention to what someone needs, helping people create, hearing someone work through a question/problem.  Giving isn’t meant to be a spectacle proving what we can give.  It’s a quiet act meant to form connection between people.  We don’t need to play this game of one-upping others in order to feel better about ourselves.  That shifts the spotlight away from the need right onto ourselves to showcase what we can do.  And making something unexpected expected sets the wrong precedent in itself because that sets the tone if we don’t go above and beyond it isn’t good enough.  I encourage giving but I encourage intelligent and meaningful giving.  The giving that can’t be bought.  I don’t believe giving with manipulative intent and when we talk about reading the industry and setting the bar, we aren’t bringing our purpose or heart to the room—we’re bringing ego.  Do not mistake that kind of growth with purpose.  Be clear, be generous, be purposeful.  It’s ok to seek growth and gain—just do not mistake wins for fulfillment.  Growth is growth and when we can create something that thrives and sustains, THAT expansion is priceless.