“Change what we’re feeding our brain, get around a new group, feed information that makes us excited about life.  We aren’t meant to dry up and wither while life moves around us.  Sometimes we need an adjustment and we need to be around people who represent where we are now, not where we were,” Chalene Johnson.  While we’re on a roll here, let’s continue the talk about group impact on the brain.  There is very much a real thing called “group think” which essentially discourages creativity or individual responsibility.  People are so alike that there’s an accepted way of doing things and anyone who thinks differently is “othered”.  It’s a get on board or get the hell out mentality.  These types of people make you think it’s for the best or that they have our best interest at heart but what they really want is to control those around them down to and including how they think and act.  It’s easier to manipulate people who kind of already think like us and are kind of already scared of us….it’s a power thing.  And we all know those people who just like to be close to power and those who like to exert power.  Thinking just because someone else thinks that way isn’t really thinking.  Like anything else of course there’s different components to this—like the thinking of shared experience or feeling or even nostalgia.  Regardless of what it is, we can’t get caught up in it.  Even with shared experience and nostalgia, we aren’t there anymore—we’re here and now.  That’s something I really struggled with.

I went full opposite on consumption for a while.  I stopped watching all news, I very specifically curated any social media to have nothing but positive/life affirming things, I focused on things I was curious about and pretty much turned my life into a bubble.  I’ll give testimony that changing what I allowed myself to take in made a huge difference.  The anxiety about the world lessened, I didn’t care as much about controlling anything, I finally got to look into some of the things that caught my attention but I never had time for—so changing what we observe changes how our mind works and how we feel for SURE. But I have to admit I went the other way and got anxiety about being in the world, about time and being stuck in circular patterns, wanting to go back to before.  So this is where the right friendships and right information matters.  We can’t get so stuck in our heads that all we see is ourselves and the world becomes a scary place but we can’t be so out in the world that we’re either terrified of everything or trying to control everything.  I would never suggest changing friends like shoes or anything like that, but I would suggest finding a group that truly represents the stage of life we’re in.  I’m not saying don’t try new things or have new experiences, I’m saying try the things that feel aligned with who we actually are.  We can’t be anywhere but where we are.

There is immense power in acceptance because we get to experience life as it is and all the parts that come with it whereas if we’re constantly pushing forward or trying to go back, we only have a vision of what we think we want with no action or of a past that we can’t change/get back.  We have to realize that there are good parts about every season we’re in.  Sure things can get really crappy but if we spend our time around people bemoaning life and fixating on the troubles/aches/pains/struggles then that’s where our mind goes.  There are people in all stages of life doing amazing things like moving countries in their 70’s because they want to, travelling alone for the first time, starting businesses, reclaiming health and sanity, learning new skills.  In our lizard brain change represents danger or instability but the reality is we aren’t fighting for survival in that way any longer—there are people and resources everywhere to help us no matter where we are.  I’m not saying it’s comfortable to break the mold and admit being a beginner, especially in mid-life.  I AM saying it’s necessary to keep our brains, spirit, mind, and soul healthy and functioning which includes evaluating what we let in our lives up to and including the people around us.  We aren’t meant to hit a certain stage in life and just stop evolving/living/doing/dreaming.  We aren’t meant to make a decision about what we want to be as a five year old and only be that.  We are meant to take in all the bits and pieces of life that make the thing we want to be, ours.  Make the adjustments and have fun on the ride.  New mind, new results.