“How to heal: feel the thing you have an impulse to turn away from until the simplicity of being you is a reward unto itself,” Cory Muscara.  The urge to run away from pain is instinct and we have spent millennia running away from all those things that cause pain.  We’ve also spent millennia trying to answer the question about how to run away from the pain inside of us.  It’s one thing to escape from a physical threat—it’s quite another to have that source of pain so incredibly close.  I talked at length about depression the other day and how that battle within the mind is one of the most exhausting things we endure.  The internal battle is terrifying and that’s why we look for things outside of ourselves to fight.  In order to move past those things, however, we need to find the actual source of the issue—and face it.  There are many reasons for mental struggles ranging from physiological to environmental to circumstantial and each of them is as real as the next even if the solution is different.  In any case, no matter the cause, in order to address it we must get to the root.  It does no good to set an arm for a broken leg and we are so often avoidant of our mental/emotional challenges that that’s exactly what we’re trying to do whether subconsciously or consciously.

Healing looks different for everyone as we all have different things to heal from.  Different things apply and different things work to aid in the healing process but NOTHING will work if we continue to avoid it.  They say depression comes from avoiding the emotions we feel when dealing with a circumstance.  I can attest to the relief that comes from speaking the truth about how I feel.  I’ve had moments of regret when sharing those feelings didn’t turn out as expected but it certainly helped alleviate what I carried with me.  In the vein of self gaslighting, we need to consider honestly addressing the self-inflicted sources of pain we hold onto.  Without even talking about the why, we first have to acknowledge what the issue even is.  What is causing the suffering…and then we can get into the why.  It’s a lot of honesty and facing ourselves and that can take courage.  We are each our own worst enemies but we have the power to learn to love ourselves.  The more we accept ourselves (and accept of ourselves) the less we suppress and hide.      

I know these topics have been heavier as of late but I bring up mental struggles and healing at this juncture in the year because, while this is a time of celebration, reflection, and contemplation it is also a time when people face the reality of whatever their situation may be.  While people gather and celebrate, some are reminded of the pain of isolation and loneliness or their misses throughout the year.  We look forward to a season of love and giving while some see disappointment and sadness and we can’t demand those people snap out of whatever they’re feeling—they carry that weight and we can all find a way to lighten that load even if that’s reinforcing their presence is needed and wanted.  If we/they struggle to create space for themselves, we can hold space for them—or find those who will hold space for us.  Sometimes it’s taking that breath, that beat to hear the rhythm of our own hearts that reminds us our presence is worthy—and so are we.  That key to self-worth brings us straight to the root of any pain we have.  No matter what struggles we’re dealing with, remember we always have the key to heal and move forward.