I want to talk about timing for a moment.  My husband and I have been participating in a group trying to find some connection and guidance on somethings. When we first started, the group just happened to be talking about strengthening marriage.  It was exactly what we needed to work with at that time.  It was an 8 week series on it and there were many profound moments.  I was excited to go to the group today knowing that we were going to start a new series, not knowing what it was.  We’ve been kind of down and out lately, the reality of some of the year hitting us, not knowing the right steps to take and frankly, yes, feeling a bit depressed and stuck.  The series that the group began today was about mental health and depression.  It brought tears to my eyes thinking that we’ve been going through so much, so unsure of which way to go, feeling guilty for even feeling bad because we have so much to be grateful for, yet here was another sign clearly showing that we were in the right place at the right time.  For so long I’ve been afraid I was behind in life and that I wasn’t achieving what I should—or that I couldn’t.  But as we sat together in this discussion, it was clear that, while I wish we had done this sooner, we were still on the right path and we were where we needed to be.

The idea that we are stuck is a challenging one to reconcile at times because there are outside influences that we need to mitigate and manage with our own mindset.  Like, are we stuck because of some force of nature or is it the force of our thoughts.  Either way, if we feel stuck we have to find a way to keep going.  Sure, we may need to rest, but we have to find a way to keep going.  There are always options.  I tried to convince myself for a long time that I didn’t know what was going on around me, that I needed someone to tell me what to do.  At the same time I wanted the freedom to call my own shots all the time but when it came to it, I was paralyzed.  I don’t know if it was some deep-seeded fear of getting things wrong or if it was somehow an avoidance of responsibility, but it was easier to say that I didn’t know what to do and do nothing than it was to make a decision and have to start all over if something went wrong.  I mean, sure people want to make the right choice at the right time but I waited for the answer.  I’ve spoken before about wishing I’d been braver and taken chances when I was younger because that would have shown me and helped me develop trust in myself.  I was stuck in the mud but the mud was my own thought process and fears.  I didn’t trust my decisions.  Yet, with no real confirmation or explanation of where these feelings were coming from, over and over again I’ve found support that I’m exactly where I need to be. 

The truth is wherever we are is exactly where we need to be.  We can’t be anywhere other than where we are right now and we arrived there because of our decisions and actions.  I’ve been the source of my own delays and “misses” because I couldn’t tell if it was for me or I convinced myself that it wasn’t from lack of confidence.  The message I continually share is that we need confidence to believe that we are making the right choices, that we know ourselves.  My husband is on his own journey to find out his own connection to things and I can’t rush that—I find myself excited and pushing when I see him on the right path because it’s always easier to see the success of someone we know from the outside.  And when we are in a relationship, our thoughts and actions impact the other person so it’s natural to want both parties to do well.  When those paths come together, all energies intertwine and influence the other.  The fact that we found this group and we came in with the topics we need is a clear indication that we are where we need to be, together and individually.  The next step is to address those things, take action on the signs we’re given knowing that will push us forward on this journey.  We are never behind—we are always exactly where we need to be.