The other day I was present for a talk on  complementary goals in terms of partnership.  We find the person we think we’re meant to be with and we need to think in terms beyond attraction.  The purpose of a relationship is beyond physical—it truly is a contract between people on many levels. Agreeing on the type of life they want to create, the experiences they want, what family means, what values they hold, the things they want to achieve, the importance and order of those goals, what the relationship itself looks like in terms of how they treat each other and how they show each other what matters.  So when it comes to creating and establishing partnership, it’s not just a matter of physical connection and attraction—it’s a covenant to bring out the best versions of each other, to help each other become the best that each person can be.  There is no implied ownership that my good is caused by you nor is my downfall, but rather, we have goals and desires and drive in life that brings us together and helps us excel together. 

I’ve felt like I needed to go it alone for a long time—the people I thought I could rely on proved to not be reliable.  The ones I loved and I could count on moved away.  But the part about partnership we don’t talk about enough is our relationship to self.  It’s in knowing ourselves and not allowing ourselves to be swayed that we find who we are and what our goals are.  That’s when our partner is revealed to us.  That’s when we know what to do and we can start working with the magic of the universe to fulfill our goals and obligations—what we were meant to do.  There are certain parts of our journey that we all have to take alone and the biggest part of that is the journey toward self-understanding, awareness, and appreciation.  We need to know these things in order to understand what we need from others.  We need to know ourselves to find our people otherwise it won’t fit quite right.  Relationships take effort but it isn’t necessarily work.  It’s an energy that we decide to focus on a commonality whether a goal or the other person or something we’re trying to launch for ourselves. 

There are many beliefs about this, the sacred partner ranging from the divine, to the one and only, the love at first sight, the twin flame, the soul match.  All of these things refer to the same thing: the one who meets our energy and frequency and who helps amplify it toward the greatest it can be.  No matter what we call it, we have known inherently that we need someone or a group of someone’s to work with us.  We are not solitary creatures. The irony of it is that in order to work well with others, we have to meet ourselves and our own energy—and work with ourselves—first.  That’s the only way it works.  We can only enhance each other if we are with those who truly ignite that level of flame and passion in us as well—and we need to know what fuels us. So many people operate as if there isn’t enough energy to go around and that we are all in competition.  We’ve been trained to operate that way, to believe that there isn’t enough of anything or that someone else’s success means less for us. But the truth is when we work with each other and when we work with those who truly bring out the best in us, that success is amplified to a degree that spills over to everyone.  So in all relationships, find those who complement us and who aren’t threatened by our success.  Know ourselves well enough to know those who bring us to the top of our game and who we can do the same for.