Today I am grateful for a break.  This last week was exhausting on so many levels.  There were several 11-12 hour days at work and, while I’m fortunate enough to work from home, the work isn’t done until it’s done.  There are no “hours.”  I’ve had roles like that before but it was in a different type of leadership where you were on someone else’s time meaning if there was any type of personal crisis, as a leader, I’d be the one expected to handle it and resolve it, find someone to cover and make sure the operation kept moving.  This type of leadership is about running the entire show, coming up with a plan and executing. Pivoting and revamping ideas, learning and adapting on the fly.  This type of work is fascinating but I need to remember it doesn’t operate on a schedule.  So after several weeks of an intense workload, I am grateful that the upcoming week is a break of sorts due to the holiday.  Yes, I will still have to work, but it it’s a different type of work, a different pace.  I am also grateful that I get to spend time with family

Today I am grateful for reminders that we don’t always know the full story.  We may think something is amazing and lovely but we don’t always see behind the curtain.  There are things happening that show us how what we may believe to be perfect is falling apart behind the scenes.  Sometimes people get to partake in what we think is an opportunity of a lifetime.  It seems like it’s all smooth sailing and it all comes together just right for them.  It can lead to feelings of frustration and even misunderstanding.  But it was nice this past week to be reminded that not all is as it seems and there are many humbling moments for the person who made it seem so lovely as well as for us on the receiving end who may have tipped toward jealousy thinking the other person had it easy so to speak.  People fight different battles all the time and just because some parts of their journey may be easy, there are others that only SEEM easy.  We never know the full extent of the story.  We don’t know what they are enduring on the other side.    

Today I am grateful for seeing timing.  My family has been dealing with a difficult and sensitive situation surrounding the care of one of our extended family members.  While some of the issue was caused from people’s choices, the other part came from no one really knowing what to do and then from others not listening to those with more experience.  So it was a volatile situation of self-martyrdom, genuine confusion, self-righteousness, and stubbornness.  But the situation was coming to a head very quickly and there were concerns about what would happen with the upcoming holidays and the longevity of this plan others were working through.  I truly believe that miracles happen in unexpected ways and this past week showed us that.  Last Friday the person involved became ill enough that they were brought to a facility for care.  There was no more choice in the matter, there was no more back and forth or wondering what to do next, no more fear about what would happen over the next few weeks, no more question about who should be involved and who would speak to whom.  The choice was made for us in the kindest way possible and there was nothing else to do.  The situation, while not over, is resolved to the next logical step in the progression of things.  This was an example of divine timing, I can’t believe it was anything less. 

Today I am grateful for putting aside fear.  I am truly an extremely anxious person and, while I have a modicum of control/understanding what is actually anxiety in my life versus something I need to address, there are times I feel I have no control over what I’m afraid of.  The fears are deep-rooted and they come before I can orient myself and manage my own emotions.  This year has felt like a blur on so many levels.  Things happened months ago that feel like it was YEARS ago. I feel like I’ve experienced a lifetime with the amount of shifting that has happened over the last 6 months alone.  That wasn’t a bad thing on many levels, it was adaptation.  But I’d be lying if I said that I was perfectly acclimated at this point or that I didn’t see the effects of mismanaged time and the effect of time in general.  If we aren’t awake and present, it really can become a matter of blink and you may miss it.  The last 6 months have made it feel like I’m behind the 8-ball so to speak in many ways.  Like these last 3 months in particular have flown by in a way that seems unreal.  So I wasn’t prepared for the upcoming holidays, not by a long shot.  I’m still not.  But I’m getting there and I didn’t let the fear of time or the fear of limited resources get to me.  I don’t want to stop living now for fear that I won’t have enough moving forward.  I have plenty, I am gifted, I am fortunate and I have opportunity to share even if it feels limited.  I won’t forget that and I put aside the fear of not having enough or not being able to do enough and I made the choice to become more inclusive to those I love instead of putting restrictions and limitations on the circumstances.  It’s time to celebrate and live and no matter how disorienting this whole time thing has been, it doesn’t change that THIS is where we are at.

Today I am grateful for centering.  We truly do need to stop and look around every now and then and just breathe.  There is so much beauty in this world and we need to take that in, we need to immerse ourselves in it.  We need reminders of how small we are, not to make us feel powerless, but so we learn to be fully present for all we are privileged enough to see and do while we are here.  There are works of art that have been around for hundreds of years.  Structures that existed for near millennia before us. Evidence of life in different forms from millions of years ago.  There is sustenance in the Earth.  There is magic in our veins.  There is evidence of connection everywhere, right down to the blood that flows through our veins.  The fact that we are able to experience and stand witness to the same places and things that people did centuries ago is awe-inspiring in itself.  They were human just as we are and likely faced the same types of insecurities we do.  We feel the same fears and strengths and joys and nerves, and triumphs, and frustrations that they experienced as well.  It’s amazing to me how much changes over time yet how much stays the same.  We can’t repeat history if we want to make real changes, yet something keeps us all on this wheel to a degree.  That used to make me angry and even dizzy but now it makes me see things more clearly.  There is a universal human experience we all share and there is the unique experience for each of us.  We need to spend time in the common ground.  Slow down.  Take our place in the bigger picture.  It’s not that important in the grand scheme of things.  Just breathe.      

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.