The mind spins and spins, constantly thinking of what I could or should be doing.  I start a project that my mind says I need to focus on in that moment only to work on it for five minutes and realize there’s something else I should be doing.  I start that and then I want to work on the project I started in the first place.  I commit to too many things at the same time thinking I can do it.  And for many years I DID do it.  I worked through the frustration and demands of the time and I made whatever I needed to happen, happen.  But over the last few months I’ve seen that I can’t operate like that anymore.  Dividing my mind like that isn’t as easy as it used to be and focusing on nothing while feeling like I need to do everything isn’t getting anything done.  And that creates frustration and exhaustion with a mile of things that were started and still need to be finished.  The human mind is an amazing thing and there is so much that works itself through our subconscious and unconscious minds.  The heart, mind, body, and soul all know what’s really going on and they all try to give us signs to guide us to the root of the problem.    

When I’ve felt especially stressed in my life, it’s been a common thing for me to dream about it.  Dreaming of multiple tornadoes breaking out, all in a row, watching from an office building, waiting for the sirens but running like a caged rat until I knew what to do.  I told people what was coming, I told them they needed to move.  They did nothing.  The funnels touched down, spinning their path directly toward the building.  They did nothing.  They stared, not even willing to protect themselves.  So I took pictures of the tornadoes, trying to capture them.  And I moved on to a store, still running from the storm, no one listening, no one caring what I told them.  I had to look up the meaning of such a dream and it told me I was overwhelmed.  I am.  I’m overwhelmed with trying to solve problems for people who know the solution and do nothing.  Overwhelmed with doing the work of multiple adults.  Overwhelmed with needing to make a decision for my sanity but not knowing who will be there for me in the end. Each of those tornadoes, an obstacle or truth I don’t want to face, all of them ready to take me away with them…and I don’t know what to do. 

The subconscious mind is an amazing thing.  The interpretation of outside stimulation and internal emotion mixing in a world only we can see in our minds is fascinating.  For me, that dream in particular stopped me in my tracks.  The dream itself woke me up, intense enough that my heart pounded with genuine fear.  It stopped me again when I looked up common meanings of tornadoes in dreams.  I mentioned the overwhelm but it also hit on struggles with relationships and control.  Most people would struggle with this to a degree, I’m aware, but the timing of this is more than coincidental.  If we understand the universe to respond to us and that nothing happens by accident, then this is an accurate representation of something I need to address in the waking world.