Today I am grateful for signs.  I enjoy having a lot of positive, inspirational things around me including positive words from writers I enjoy.  In classic me fashion, I tend to overcommit and I don’t always get to read all the newsletters I sign up for in a timely manner.  The other day I was in my email and I saw one that talked about being meant to hear these words today. It happened to be one of the newsletters that I normally would put on the back burner for later, but I felt in my heart that I needed to look at it then, it was something that called to me.  I looked at it and the writer had an interview with another writer and the name was familiar—when she said the name of the book I realized it was a book I’ve had for years and used to read quite often but hadn’t for a while.  So the message of the newsletter was great but I ended up picking up that book to see what THAT message was for the day and it ended up being a reminder about confidence and knowing who we are—which is exactly what MY writing had been about the two previous days.  We have to remember the universe is ALWAYS talking to us—we just have to remember to slow down and listen.  We also have to remember that the universe speaks to us in the language and frequency we put out so if we really pay attention, we know what it’s telling us.  I knew I was supposed to open that newsletter that day, I knew I was supposed to pick up that book again, and I know that I am meant to continue my work, step by step whether I see the end or not.  This is where I’m meant to be.

Today I am grateful for reminders to focus on my creativity and the things that bring me joy.  I’ve been struggling with a project I’ve been working on for over a year.  It’s not turning out how I want it to and the stories and pieces I’m putting together aren’t the full truth of what happened.  Some of it had to change for specific reasons but there are other parts that just don’t feel like the story I needed to tell—they don’t seem like my life.  And I realized that if I’m going to share my story, it needs to be my story.  So all the time I’ve put into this and now there comes another pivot.  But what brings me back to focus is I received a call from my manager and her asking where I was at with the work and me not really being able to tell her what was going on.  And it hit me that I’m overcomplicating the entire situation.  I just need to get in and do the work, tell the story and then worry about the rest later.  Just tell the story.  Find the pieces that I want to share and let it out. Trying to make it palatable to others or simply sharing the information isn’t going to cut it.  I need to share what is in my heart and remember the point of what I and why I wanted to share it in the first place.  So, even this far in, it’s fine to reset and get back to the work that makes me happy.  It’s time to start again. 

Today I am grateful for communication.  Most of my day is spent working through work projects and problems that arise related to my applications. If I have time to address my own projects or get a few things done around the house in between, I do.  But most of my day is spent alone, creating my own schedule and doing what I feel I need to.  I don’t get to spend a lot of time just chit-chatting anymore.  So I got a call from an acquaintance whom I normally don’t spend a ton of time speaking with because we kind of have different involvement on the periphery of the same friend group.  She’s constantly busy with work and has a lot of involvement in her kids’ activities and I work a lot whether on my projects or my 9-5.  So when she called, I wasn’t entirely expecting it.  We were trying to coordinate the kids getting together earlier that day and I had just expected a quick text about what the plan was but she called while at an event for her daughter and we ended up speaking for about an hour.  It was nice to have a conversation with another adult about something outside of the house and to take a little bit of time to learn more about each other.  Our kids have gone to school together for four years and we’ve been at the same activities together but we haven’t spent too much time together outside of those events.  It was nice to feel like I had someone else to connect with especially with everything that’s been happening the last several months.  Sometimes we just need to talk. 

Today I am grateful for unexpected reconnections. Like a lot of people, my family relationships, specifically with the extended family is somewhat strained.  Most of that comes from what others have told us and what we’ve been brought up to believe, adopting other people’s feelings toward each other.  It’s ridiculous.  We were close when we were kids and we let the talk of our parents and others sink into our minds and then life hit and we were all distracted by the things we had to do and the lives we chose.  There are some people I haven’t spoken to in years and I hate that because we weren’t like that as children and I have experienced losing family unexpectedly so I should know better than to allow the habit of not speaking to each other continue.  There was an incident with my uncle the other day and I knew it was time to reach out to my cousin to hash out what needed to be said—we are the adults now, we don’t have to abide by what our parents said 30 years ago.  We ended up talking for over an hour and it is so obvious that we are in different places than we were 2, 5, 10, 20 years ago.  Sure, there are some old habits and fears that linger, but we are healthy, capable adults and it’s time for us to take responsibility moving forward—and to understand that what I saw and was told all those years ago was crap.  We can start over now.  If we want to connect to people, just do it.  Pick up the phone because we never know how much time we have.  Don’t waste it.

Today I am grateful for understanding we live in a 24/7 world.  These last 6 months I’ve had to rearrange my schedule numerous times as I’ve adapted to a new role.  Like any other human on Earth, I have competing priorities and things I want to do so I have set times that I like to put toward specific things—with my new role, I’ve had to learn to shift my idea of work time and what my role means. That’s not a bad thing, I’m just saying for someone who focused on “work is this time,” “exercise is this time,” “dinner is this time,” learning to shift and pivot to understanding what was required of me and when took me a minute.  I recently had to adapt again and this time really made me consider what my work day is.  This role isn’t strictly 9-5 but it also isn’t 24/7 (not quite at least).  But the world we live in IS 24/7.  There are different patterns and life at different times and certain needs come in at different times of the day.  Problems don’t always happen between 9-5. Family time isn’t always on nights and weekends.  We must adapt to what’s happening right in front of us.  Sure we can plan and we can stick to what we know but that doesn’t mean things won’t come up and we get called into the fire so to speak.  As much as I’m trying and have been trying to establish routine, I understand now that I am privileged to work from home and my availability and my choice to when I work is different now.  And that is a whole new sense of freedom.    

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.