Today I am grateful for making dreams come true.  Every since my kid was born, I had envisioned being a part of his life in so many ways.  Attending school functions, being the room mom, being able to drop him off and pick him up from school.  This past Friday I was able to make that a reality and be part of his Halloween party.  In the years up to now, I’d been able to at least leave work early to see him during his parade which was always fun and we were always thrilled to see each other, but all the special events during the day I would miss.  So being able to take part of his party, to share my energy toward something he loved, to ensure these kids had a great time felt amazing. It was all I wanted.  I am so grateful to be able to do that and more.  I have the opportunity with my new role to be able to do this again for other events and I am so excited to do it. It was worth it, and while I wish I could have done it sooner, I am so happy to have been able to do this for him now and to do it again in the future.

Today I am grateful for new connections.  Relationships change, sometimes when we least expect it.  In those moments we have a choice to lament, fight for it, or change it.  We can always mourn what was (or what we thought it was), that’s a necessary part of that dynamic.  But when a relationship is stagnant and changes/ends, it opens opportunities to learn new parts of ourselves and to find other relationships that we didn’t know we needed.  I met some amazing, strong women this past weekend and I see the value of strength in numbers with focused action rather than emotional draws.  A focused target and goal makes all the difference.  There are a lot of people in this world and we are not all each other’s cup of tea so it can be bitter to realize that we simply don’t mesh with people we thought we did.  It can be distasteful to find that someone isn’t the person you thought they were.  But it is a relief to know that there are those who DO understand us, who reciprocate, who work toward the same goal, who aren’t there to undermine you.  There’s a whole new world waiting in those scenarios and they exist.  The world and our experience of it can be whatever we want it to be.  We just have to make the choice.  Who we connect with and surround ourselves with is well within our control.  I’ve learned to choose wisely.

Today I am grateful for being a bigger person.  We had an unfortunate incident this weekend where one of the kids who was out with the group was lost for a brief period of time.  He’s young, got confused, and walked off with another group of kids.  The short version is that this is a happy ending and we found him.  The long version is that this was the child of a woman who has been a source of pain, anger, and frustration over the last few months.  When we realized the child was missing, there were no questions asked—every single one of us dropped what we were doing and we put our energy toward finding this child.  None of the bullshit mattered and every single one of us saw that and joined in to find this child.  We even managed to end the event with a hug.  The discussion on the status of our relationship will happen another day, but in that moment we rose above and did what we had to do. 

Today I am grateful for honesty.  It’s not that I’m not an honest person, but I will admit that there are times I try to stick keenly to the middle.  It isn’t a matter of me trying to make people happy, it’s a matter of trying to keep the peace and make sure that I do understand all sides of the situation.  Given the scenario of what has happened over the last few months, I could no longer do that.  At the same get-together mentioned above, I had the chance to confront the people who’d been responsible for a lot of the issues we had this summer.  I explained my side and what happened even though I was told, “I don’t need to see receipts.”  I could have acquiesced and tried to choke down ownership for the entire thing.  Instead, I said, “Clearly you do because this isn’t what happened.  I tried to contact each person 3 times—that’s 9 points of outreach and no one responded to me so I don’t want to hear that I didn’t contact people.”  And I showed the proof of it on the phone.  Proof that it wasn’t me who ignored the request to talk.  I also firmly said that there were wrongs on all sides of this and that I will not take responsibility for the entire thing when I’ve put in this kind of effort to explain, make amends, was ignored, and the behavior continued.  It was clear that with this group, the view is that we are the enemy so to speak (or at least the problem) but clearing the air with a few people has changed where I’m at–It’s taken months but I finally got it all out.  And it felt good.

Today I am grateful for truly learning to flex.  Flex my time, flex my ability flex my understanding.  We have 24 hours in a day and I am a control freak about sticking with a routine and doing things at the time they’re meant to be completed.  I wanted to break that habit and it’s been a pattern I too often fall back into.  But I’ve realized that live doesn’t always go how we want it to and sometimes we have to give up our idea of how it is to see how it is.  Nothing is perfect.  It doesn’t have to be—yet, somehow, it is perfect as it is.  How it happens is fine—it turns out fine.  That is the reestablishment of trust in my life—that’s an entirely additional battle so to speak, but it’s a gift.  So when it comes to flex, I realized that being in the moment is where we need to be.  I wasn’t feeling well at all yesterday and spent most of the day down and out physically.  I still had work to do so I managed to get done what I needed to and then relaxed.  I didn’t rush, I didn’t panic, I didn’t stress.  I just did what I could and then listened to my body.  And here I am, on Sunday, still working, looking at the gaps in my schedule for next week knowing that I have all the time in the world to do what I need to do. It’s my choice.  Time moves no matter what we do—it’s up to us what we do with it.  Use it well.    

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.