“Stop looking for your purpose-be it,” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.  Right now this world needs the helpers.  It needs the kind ones.  It needs the visionaries.  It needs the ones who support.  It needs the ones who create.  The world needs exactly what we are and it needs us to be that.  In a world that moves faster and faster, in a world determined to misunderstand itself in the name of victimhood, in a world filled with endless beauty and opportunity we ignore, in a world where we have options to do whatever we want yet choose not to use, in a world of self-made chaos and drivel—it needs purpose.  We need to be reminded of our purpose so we can choose to step up and fulfill it—so we can be it.  There are a lot of fucked up things happening right now in the US.  Some we are numb to because it happens all the time.  But we are living at the precipice of falling into chaos or salvation and the choice is ours either way.  We created this mess so we are the ones who have to fix it—and we CAN fix it.  We do that through being who we are meant to be.  It’s as simple as that.

We convince ourselves we are lost or confused but the truth is we are only confused because we aren’t being true to ourselves.  That latter part I don’t blame a single person for—we are all taught to play the same game and it’s hard to break the chains.  It’s easy to go with the flow and repeat what we know and we only know what we are taught.  That truly is the way life is.  But there comes a point where we have to consider the lessons we teach next.  What are we showing our kids?  What are we showing the world?  Right now we’re encouraging a dangerous precedent with anger and self-centered/attention seeking and ill-informed platforms portrayed as truth.  We are taught that reality isn’t real.  Look, anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows I HIGHLY encourage getting in touch with the mind and being aware of how we feel so we can navigate our actions.  What I don’t advocate for is delusion.  Dream big, live big, think big.  Do it all bigger than anyone before, that’s fine.  But don’t pretend that our whims are the reality other people seek.  When we serve our purpose we no longer need the light on us, we feel content to do the work quietly.

Here’s the thing: There’s a lot of negativity in the world and we need to address it—that isn’t something we can sweep under the rug any longer because that type of repression is part of how we got here in the first place.  I’m not ignorant enough to “feel” that away from the world.  I’m also not ignorant enough to assume that everyone has the capacity to turn their lives around on a dime.  It doesn’t work like that and we all have very real healing work to do.  But I’m just crazy/hopeful enough to believe that if we shift our focus, even a little bit every day, that we can make some real change in this world.  I’m crazy enough to believe that we have a choice in what we share with people and that some day we will tire of the energy it takes to keep up with what we’ve created and we will settle into who we are.  There is peace in who we are.  There is peace in letting the mask down and putting all the crap away, put it down.  There is peace in coming together in collaboration and community and love and joy. But we can’t do that until we are willing to look deeper and start asking if we are really doing what we know we are supposed to.  Stop pretending we don’t know what we know.  Take back the power and BE that person.

“You push through and laugh the entire way,” Jack Lawrence.  There’s a difference between pushing things down and ignoring them versus pushing through.  When we ignore the lessons of growth and internalize what went wrong we hold ourselves back.  Pushing through is about perseverance and dedication, not about stopping what we’ve done or ignoring what we’ve learned.  Life is a game of sorts, we get to call the shots, we determine the moves, and the results.  It’s all a matter of what we believe we are capable of and follow through.  Life 100% has its ups and downs, that’s just the nature of it.  But when we push through and understand there are reasons for it and we have forged real connection to self and source, we will get there, the outcome is always guaranteed.   

What we do matters and how we do things matters—a task is what I’m doing right now, the purpose is why we do it.  I saw a clip of a Disney employee who was tasked with cleaning the park.  Rather than just clean, this person took the opportunity to create art, using their tools and water to create Disney characters on the ground.  This person easily could have just picked up and gone about their day.  They would have gotten the task done and collected their check—they did their job.  But this person wasn’t just there to do the job—they were there to create magic and they understood the full magic that was part of their role.  When we choose what we do, we must do so with purpose otherwise we will never fully engage.  The results won’t matter.  If something matters to us, the details should matter.  We all have tasks to do throughout our day—why do we do them?  What drives us to complete them?  We all have to clean the bathroom at some point—but is it a chore or is it an experience in creating a clean environment in a place that isn’t always pleasant?  To do that we have to go the extra mile, add some fragrance, clean under the sink and toilet. 

When I was in massage school, we were taught about the little things.  Having a table set up with folded sheets is a great first impression but what about folding that sheet down to make it look more inviting, almost like a bed?  The purpose of the massage is to relax and heal so there is no reason we can’t take a minute to do that extra little fold.  We’re doing it anyway so make it count.  If we are to make any sort of positive impact on this world, we always need to be cognizant of our why.  Remember there is a reason for what we do, not just to check something off the list.  Sure we want to finish what we need to, but if the goal is merely completing the task, people feel that.  When we care about what we do, we carry that in all we do.  We see what resonates with us and that’s just how we operate.  There are things I’m doing right now that I may not see results from for a decade.  There are things I might see results from next year.  Both are important.  I’m not just trying to check off the list, I’m trying to build something sustainable.  There are tons of sayings like anything worth doing is worth doing right, and it’s true.  To be clear, we’re not talking about perfection here, things don’t need to be perfect to have significance.  But if we execute the task with care and thought and intention, we’ve done something perfectly. 

Find the thing that matters and don’t let go.  Find what matters because when you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.  You’ll find joy in the little things, you’ll find ways to make the mundane seem extraordinary.  We realize that life is extraordinary when we look at what we can do.  And when we operate from authenticity, suddenly time opens up, creativity flows, and we are driven—we become hungry for more.  We can do more, but this isn’t about quantifying it—it’s about putting more into what we do.  We don’t need longer lists of things to do but we need more meaning in our lives.  The meaning is magic.  We all have the opportunity to be that person for ourselves—remember The Leader With No Title.  Anyone can be a leader and everyone has the opportunity to bring their best to what they do.  The little things add up and the more we prepare and offer ourselves, the greater success we see in the long run. Anything with purpose creates longevity and meaning.  What mark are you leaving on the world?

I was watching a debate between a 30 year old and a college student between 18-22.  This was regarding a hyper-sensitive topic and the student asked the man if it felt good as a 30 year old to challenge students to these debates.  Not moments before that same student had talked about rights and knowing what their rights are, how autonomous they were etc.. Not even 30 seconds later, they’re implying that because the 30 year old has more experience that person shouldn’t be challenging kids, that they’re being bullied when hearing the truth. My friends, we can’t have it both ways.  You’re either adult enough to take the action and deal with the consequences, or you’re young enough where you need guidance.  Because the one thing that is severely lacking today is accountability.  We can’t be the villain and the victim on the same topic, switching between the two when it’s convenient. That to me demonstrated exactly what is wrong with this generation.  They feel bold enough to enter a debate with anyone and when they are challenged on their point of view using straight fact, they claim they are being bullied.  There’s a life lesson in that for everyone: we can’t be both villain and victim.

There are people out there who want the world to be what they think it is at all times. Those who believe in perception as reality.  We’ve had this conversation so many times before and it’s still a hard one for me.  Perception and opinion on a matter are not fact so we can’t say it’s reality.  We can say our perception is perceived as reality—that’s fine—but what we believe isn’t necessarily fact.  People take discussion of fact as violence and an implication of oppression.  The problem is we aren’t taught how to be who we are supposed to be.  We are taught that life is a struggle while not having to work for anything so we never develop the skills to actually figure out who we are.  We create scenarios of the utmost ridiculous nature to the point it can’t even be taken seriously. Life is hard, there are challenges, not everything is fair.  But we don’t get to be entitled enough to think we are victims because someone doesn’t agree with us.  Disagreements aren’t violence—they’re a platform for discussion.  As a society we’ve lost the art of discussion and debate as the rise of keyboard heroes rises.  Everyone has an opinion and a platform to discuss what concerns them and, to them, that is sacred.  We’re brave behind the screen.     

“Life begins when excuses end,” Loren Ridinger.  Short and sweet.  If we are ready to begin a new venture, we have to put away the old.  We have to cut ties with what prevents us from getting where we want to be.  When we pick up the pen and start giving direction, our story unfolds.  Living for someone else under their rules and working toward their dreams is like living in a dream state.  We are there and present but we aren’t in control.  What is the point of having a beating heart and a functioning body if we aren’t going to listen to the very thing that sets our rhythm in this world?  If we constantly choose to do something other than what we want to do, we prevent ourselves from experiencing those possibilities. 

We come alive when we listen to ourselves so we have to carefully consider what an excuse is.  There are legitimate circumstances that may prevent us from getting what we set out for but we have to be honest and question what it is that stops us.  Is there something we are afraid of?  Are we believing something that isn’t ours to believe?  When we stop telling ourselves we can’t, suddenly we can.  The life we want is on the other side of what we told ourselves before and that can only start when we are willing to stop what didn’t work.    

“Using an alarm clock makes us a prisoner to someone else’s dreams,” Loren Ridinger.  This may be an over generalization to a degree but the sentiment caught my ear.  How much time do we spend building a routine based on someone else’s needs?  Even if we make a choice for a reason and we have a plan knowing what we are doing is temporary, we still adhere to what someone else tells us.  Most jobs today don’t offer the flexibility of working whatever hours we need to.  We work during their operating hours and sometimes beyond that.  Our time is dictated by what someone else tells us.  There are instances the needs may align and we can satisfy our needs and someone else’s at the same time, but more often than not, we book our calendars based on what someone tells us to. 

Until we are able to define our dreams, we will always fulfill someone else’s.  Sure, we have a need for specific functions as a society, but we also have a need for the creative freedom to thrive in a way that satisfies our needs as well.  We don’t all share the same dream so why do we force ourselves to work on someone else’s goal more fervently than our own?  We can set the alarm based on what works for us.  We choose when we take action on what is important to us and if we are abiding by what others tell us to do, then we aren’t working on ourselves.  I want to be clear that no one’s dream is a burden and it isn’t always a prison to work for/with someone else—but it becomes that way when we are working toward something we don’t care about.  We free ourselves when we take ownership of our path.  We can set the alarm any which way we want, we know the markers and milestones we need to meet and it’s up to us how and when we get there.  Just don’t let so much time pass that we miss the opportunity entirely.  Be aware of what markers we set and make sure they are of our own devising. Only we know our true rhythm.   

“Go out of your head to use your mind,” Loren Ridinger.  Isn’t it ironic that it’s often the tools we have that get in our way?  We have brains compiled of billions neurons that fire thoughts that inspire all kinds of action. It takes a lot to navigate through those thoughts and we do it, often without a moment of hesitation.  At the same time we are inundated with so much stuff, so much otherness, that it’s easy to let those thoughts get in the way and add on unnecessary junk to something that may otherwise be straightforward.  This is a reminder that sometimes we simply need to connect with the core part of ourselves—get out of our heads and listen to how we feel.  More importantly, FEEL how we feel.  The mind can’t always be trusted because it so often gets jumbled in the mix of what we can/could/should do that we forget what we NEED to do.  We forget the goal.  In getting out of the rote patterns that reflexively fire in our brains, when we step into how we are feeling, it may tell us a different path to take.  The path doesn’t always present itself in a logical manner—sometimes we see it’s there when we feel a certain way.

The mind is our greatest ally, it truly is, even if we don’t think it is.  Speaking as someone who has dealt with extreme mental health swings, I can say first hand that I couldn’t always trust what my brain told me. Breaking the habit of listening to it felt damn near impossible at times.  It wasn’t until I understood that messages came from everywhere, not just inside my head, that I was able to make peace with the fact that I was responsible for what I took in.  The thoughts I consumed either through reading stories, what I watched on TV, what the people around me talked about, all of that impacted me (just as it impacts all of us).  We have to let go of what we see around us, we have to let go of what our “routine” response would be to something and we have to ask if that is what we really feel.  Is that what we really feel or is that just how we always respond?

Something unlocks in the mind when we know we can trust ourselves.  The mind functions differently.  We see other alternatives and opportunities where we may not have.  We learn to process and do things in other ways.  The world has a funny way of bringing us exactly what we need when we need it—even if it doesn’t appear how we thought it would.  We can’t operate something new by doing what we did before so that in itself makes it necessary to get out of our heads and feel our way into the mind.  Finding the truth of how we feel is key.  We spend a lot of time regurgitating what others have taught us instead of actively questioning if that is a genuine belief that came from us.  If we want to forge new paths we have to start with the paths in our head.  There is no should in the way of the mind (outside of survival instincts)—there is only possibility. Be ready for it and know how to welcome greatness into our lives by feeling it more every day.

Today I am grateful for truth.  I understand that speaking truth is a scary thing when we’re younger because we’re worried about fitting in, we’re worried about being accepted, we’re worried about being likeable.  The funny thing is, the more we accept and learn about ourselves, the more we realize that other people’s opinions literally mean jack shit.  If we are just honest from the jump, we will find those who understand us and we understand that it isn’t about being liked by everyone, it’s about being with the right ones.  This weekend has shown me the value in speaking up.  I’ve realized that I only speak out to the people I feel safe with—like when we’re in a store and someone gets too close, instead of me standing my ground, I’ll bitch about it to my husband.  This has lent a somewhat child-like quality to me where people think they can push me around because I’m smaller—but I am 41 years old and I am more than entitled to my space regardless of what you think of me or your initial perception.  I deserve respect and I don’t need to back down.  That isn’t to say I need to be aggressive either, just that I can take my space.  Speaking truth is what creates that space for us and our truth will naturally attract those who understand it-our tribe. 

Today I am grateful for good conversation.  Over the course of the last several weeks, my best friend and I have taken a much more concentrated effort on connecting with each other.  We live in different states now but this is a friend who has understood me from the beginning—like since I was 6 years old.  We’ve both advanced into very busy lives and it was hard with the distance between us to keep up regularly.  Not that it ever caused an issue—we’d ALWAYS pick right back up where we were without a problem.  But as we’ve gotten older, we’ve realized that, while that’s ok and we’ve maintained the relationship, when someone means that much to you, you need to take the time to emphasize and learn what’s going on.  I’ve learned more about her over the last few weeks than I had for a long time.  I mean, believe me, we know each other, we care about each other, but with all the time and space between us, life continues and there are details missed.  Add that we are both hyper-independent and self-sufficient women who don’t like to “burden” people with troubles and we were missing things.  Like I said, when someone means something to you, you make sure to prioritize the relationship and I am so glad that I have.  This past week I’ve met with people on three separate occasions for lunch and someone said that when we see each other outside the office, there is an important window into ourselves.  And it’s true.  Conversation is an art that we are all too quick to dismiss.  Conversation is what brings us back to the moment and shows us what matters, the differences we have become doorways to compromise and learning, and the connection is deeper.  Conversation is the foundation of relationships.  I encourage everyone to open up and see what you can share and what you learn.  It changes everything.

Today I am grateful for reminders of peace and purpose.  Full transparency, as I write this I don’t have an ounce of peace about me.  I’m irritated.  I’m annoyed.  I’m angry.  I’m frustrated.  And there’s not one thing I can do about it.  I’m resentful because I can’t do anything about it and people still somehow expect me to take action.  Somehow still expect me to live on their timeline.  I’m pissed because my boundaries are being crossed by a person who literally doesn’t even have the capacity to understand that they are crossing boundaries.  So all I can do in this moment is remember that this too shall pass and there will be a calm at some point that will make me wish for the chaos again.  I have a purpose and if someone doesn’t understand that, it isn’t my job to make them understand, it’s my job to keep fulfilling my purpose.  So stay the course.  As annoying and aggravating and obnoxious as it is to have people try to push, we have to accept it and accept the fact that all we can do is our best and keep going.

Today I am grateful for life.  Life isn’t all pretty—there’s a lot of ugly right now in so many aspects and facets of the world.  There’s a whole lot of pain and anger and rage and I feel my own degree of that as well.  But it doesn’t have to be like that.  Life is beautiful in its own way no matter what’s happening and we just need to bear witness to it and be present.  It’s hard when we are in the midst of balancing our own battles and we have to navigate the challenges other people face as well.  There’s a lot of life out there and it comes in all shapes and sizes and all we can do is buckle in and enjoy the ride.  Not to suggest we are helpless by any means, in fact, quite the contrary.  When life shows us the ugly side it’s up to us to keep looking for the good.  It’s up to us to keep being an example of the good.  So no matter how rough it gets, I am grateful I have the opportunity to be here and make a mark.

Today I am grateful for completion.  This is another full transparency moment: Not one thing in my life is complete.  There are about 100 half-started projects around the house that need to get done that are driving me crazy and I’m getting pressure to finish things that have no impact on anyone other than to be their source of relief.  But this is an opportunity to focus on the good and there is always good in the struggles.  I am not ignorant to the fact that the issues I’m dealing with pale in comparison to some of what’s happening in the world, but I’ve also learned that we can’t play the comparison game to someone else’s struggle.  We ALWAYS need to keep perspective on our struggles yes, we need to know we aren’t the only ones dealing with issues, but the problems aren’t a competition.  No one has to be at a certain level of “issue” to qualify for help.  If we are overwhelmed, we are overwhelmed—we don’t need someone to validate that’s what we’re feeling.  So for now I want to focus on when all of this is done and try my best to deal with the things in front of me one at a time. I am one person and I am under no obligation to do more than is within my capacity.  It makes me uncomfortable to be hounded and pushed but even in those moments of discomfort, I am under no obligation to be more than what I can be in that moment.  If I’m functioning at 60% and I bring every ounce of that 60% to the game, I’ve given my all for that day.  And that’s ok.  I’m human.  It will all work out in the end. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

“The longest time in the world is between thought and action,” Loren Ridinger.  This is another one that hit me.  I looked back over my old journal entries as I’m working on a project and I’m seeing a pattern.  There’s a cycle of feeling a specific way, hyping myself up to make the change, then letting it fizzle out.  Years and years and years of the same story.  Truthfully it’s embarrassing.  Sure, I can say it’s all meant to be and it’s part of my journey—if it wasn’t, I would have made different decisions with a different outcome.  But the truth is, I feel a level of regret over wasted time.  I knew all the actions to take years ago—why didn’t I just DO it?  All the delay I’ve faced, all the fear and strain, the wasted breath of proving—if I had just done something different and acted on my thoughts, this would have been an entirely different story. 

This could take an entirely depressive tone, I know that.  Trust me when I say I’m not mired in depression or sadness in this moment.  Yes, I will say I feel the regret but this isn’t a pity party.  This is an awakening and I am proud to see that every day is an opportunity to change what we have done.  We can choose a different path at any time and the only thing causing the delay is ourselves.  I see the years I spent writing the same sentences, telling the same story, and I know that I could have changed that narrative at any time.  So sure, it’s frustrating to know that, but it’s also liberating to tell a different story.  All it takes is one new action to change the path we are on. 

We don’t know what we don’t know until we experience it.  All I knew at the time was to let things fizzle away.  This is a great reminder to make the change and when that excitement hits, pounce on it.  Grab it like a lifeline because there is power in action.  Sure thought drives us, it gives us the inspiration.  But it doesn’t get anything done.  That’s on us.  If we are the source of our delay, imagine how things will change when we fully embody that we are the source of success as well.  Instead of telling the same story, encourage a new thought and if we are brave enough to have a new vision, then just maybe we will be brave enough to follow through.  The world doesn’t change until we do. So don’t let the magic fade out because we are thinking too much.  It’s far easier than we think: just get started.

“You can’t manufacture greatness with one swing of the bat, you’ll have to take many swings,” Loren Ridinger.  This goes back to the idea of eating the whale in one bite.  So often we are led to believe that greatness happens because we think it will, that it happens overnight.  The key to becoming great is to become what we think is great.  Adapting takes time.  Learning to trust ourselves takes time.  Learning to become an expert with consistent results or to be someone who can handle the curveballs takes time.  It’s all part of the process.  We need to learn to wear the hats (or whatever article you prefer) with a degree of confidence before we can state that we know everything.  To that end, there is also a necessary degree of humility needed because we must always remember to learn.  We don’t know what we don’t know and unless we are willing to be a perpetual student, even of those things we think we know to the core, we will cut ourselves off from the opportunity to experience that greatness.

Another secret to greatness is that greatness is in the nuance.  It is in the detail.  We don’t want to get ourselves so caught up in the detail that we never take action, that is true, but it is also true that when we take the time to notice the details and all the things that create something (or an experience), that is where we shine.  It’s the little details that show we have gone the extra mile without taking another step.  That’s key because when we take that extra step, we show we understand.  We’ve lost the art of understanding in this world through the very desire to be understood.  We are so eager to be seen and heard that we have forgotten we are looking for connection which only comes from understanding.  And understanding only comes from connection.  We are on the same team and we all have the capacity to be great.  We’ve fostered an environment of competition rather than collaboration because we fear there isn’t enough for all of us to be successful.  Consumerism thrives on competition-life thrives on love.  We are not a commodity, we need love because when we feel safe in being loved, that is when we have the courage to take as many swings as we need to to become great.

The world needs greatness.  It demands greatness from every one of us.  We just mistook the idea of being great for the idea that we all had to be great in the same way—or that being great meant one thing.  We need greatness to develop and evolve.  We need greatness to feel joy.  But to get to greatness, we need to practice and we need to be safe enough to learn, we need to be loved enough to be encouraged, we need to be humble enough to be willing to be a novice, we need to be strong enough to keep going.  Learning doesn’t really happen by osmosis—it happens through action and application of what we know.  What inspires greatness in us?  What makes us feel great?  What makes us come alive where we forget where we are at because we are so engrossed in what we are doing that time doesn’t exist?  The world needs people who have come alive into their sense of self.  It’s our job to notice each other and to elicit the greatness out of each other.  Practice might hurt, a perceived failure might hurt, but nothing hurts more than holding our greatness inside of us.  Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in greatness, either for fear of success or failure. Just allow and understand that it all teaches us.  Both sides, good and bad, show us what we need to do.  Learn to be great by learning to be entirely who we are. It’s up to us to welcome that version of ourselves.