Today I am grateful for connection.  I tend to fall into distraction a lot and when my mind starts getting carried away, it’s easy to fall into my old habits.  I know I’m not alone when I say that I have the best intentions to follow through on my plans and to stick with them yet I get distracted and don’t always follow through.  One area that tends to get neglected is my relationship with my family and another is my home.  I have so many projects going on because I’m still an over-committer, that I still fall into the habit of checking things off the list rather than focusing on the purpose behind them. It’s not that I take them (my family or my home) for granted, it’s just that sometimes it’s easy to push things off until later. Doing that makes some of the easier tasks overwhelming because what would have taken a few minutes out of my day no takes longer because more of the same task has built up.  But what I’ve found is taking the time to connect, listen, be present, and really hear what the other person is saying creates more value than ignoring and pushing past anything. Hearing others and understanding is key.  We all need that reminder every now and then.

Today I am grateful for surrender.  My relationship with surrender both as a word and concept is complicated to say the least.  I guess it’s complicated for most people because at our core, the human psyche/ego and survival instinct don’t like being forced to do anything.  The concept of surrender implies a giving up and any of you who’ve read my work over the years knows how much I hate that. I’ve come to realize that a lot of my distaste for the word has to do with the tendencies to not finish things.  I see the projects I’ve started and stopped and the concept of surrender reminds me of the things I’ve wanted and gave up on.  But right now, if this world has shown us anything, it’s that there is very little we can do in the way of preventing circumstances that are simply meant to happen nor can we force something to happen that isn’t meant to be.  People have to learn their own lessons as well and we have little say in swaying someone from their path—it’s their journey.  So surrender can suck, it can leave us feeling helpless.  It can also free us because we can arrive at the understanding that there is no alternative than what’s happening in front of us.  Surrender can take the pressure off.  There is no forcing anymore.  Sure, it means we may have to give something up but it can also be about letting go and clearing the way of what prevented us from getting what we wanted.

Today I am grateful for awakening.  There is a coming to my senses feeling as I type this.  It feels like a film is being removed from my eyes and I’m seeing clearly.  I’ve lived under the impression that we can control anything we want to.  I need to be clear about this: I still fully believe that we can achieve whatever it is that we want but I want to clarify that we can achieve that which is meant to be.  We need to have some purpose/skin in the game and those things we’re doing just to check off our list won’t hold the same meaning as something we are meant to do.  We aren’t meant to control everything and we aren’t meant to be everything, we aren’t meant to do everything.  The world is open to us and we all have options and we have the prerogative to change our minds and pursue other things.  That means we also have the opportunity to see things as they are and see the reality before us.  It really is a bit like The Matrix where we’ve been living in a simulation building these lives when the reality is we are functioning as a source for something greater.  But even serving as a source, we aren’t meant to be blind.  We are meant to work in conjunction WITH that source.  We are meant to be aware and to be aware is to be awake and to live with intent.  It feels raw at first, like every nerve is exposed, but that’s how we know we are seeing what’s real.

Today I am grateful for authenticity.  A continuation of all the pieces of today’s gratitude is authenticity.  Through connection, awakening, and surrender, we find authenticity and it is in authenticity that we find connection, awakening, and surrender.  The world is simultaneously far less and far more complicated than we make it.  Perhaps not complicated but intricate.  Things get really simple when we live our truth and when we accept ourselves and others.  That acceptance is one of the hardest things to do because we are constantly told to be something, anything different than what we are. We were made to be who we are, not who others tell us to be, not who others want us to be. The path of free will is available to us all and that means we can choose the versions others lay out for us or we can stick to our own destined path.  It also means that sometimes we have to watch people choose things we wouldn’t.  All we can hope for is that we wake to find what is right for us.

Today I am grateful for the reminder to love.  No matter what happens in this world, all we have to do is operate in love.  Believe in love.  It can be painful to watch someone go down a path you know is hurting them but knowing we all awaken in our own time, knowing we have free will, we must also know that the same applies to those we love.  Love is a presence that says, “I’m here.  We don’t have to do anything, but I can sit in this mess with you.  I can sit in joy with you.  I can sit in the chaos or calm.  And I can let you sit alone when you need it.”  The idea of being alone has scared me for years so I scrambled to keep those I love near, to have them behave in ways I thought were safe.  But their safety wasn’t always my responsibility and some people aren’t meant for safe—they are meant to care for themselves and they push the bounds of their reality.  Sometimes that care can turn to suffocation if we don’t relax the grip a bit.  Love what we have and enjoy it while it’s here.  We will never be this young or old again, all we have is now, so love.  Love big.  Love plainly.  Love freely.  Love life enough to connect to that source and trust we cross paths for a reason.  Breathe. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.