“When you’re proud of yourself, you don’t really pay much attention to what other people are doing,” Mel Robbins.  Yesterday we touched on self-esteem and understanding it’s ok (and necessary) to walk away from those who don’t see our value—our job isn’t to convince the world of our value.  Robbins brings in an interesting point in that if we see our own value, the opinion of the rest of the world sort of falls away.  The outside world becomes irrelevant because we have found our own rhythm with the nature of OUR world and we are driven by our purpose rather than approval of that purpose.  We have accepted our place and know we are doing the right thing.  If we find peace and are happy/content doing what we are doing, then we don’t really need to worry if someone else is ok with how we find that peace.  Having that purpose and following it to our own satisfaction eliminates the distraction of seeking approval and that is when we can get the real work done. 

Pride can be a confusing word for some people because it comes with a lot of implications. When I first heard Mel say that, I cringed a bit because I personally have a sour relationship with that word mainly because of how people interpreted my own pride.  I wasn’t allowed to be proud of anything because it was considered showing off so pride held a negative connotation for me.  If we are proud, are we egotistical?  If we are proud, are we arrogant?  And the truth is pride in anything can very easily turn into either ego or arrogance or both.  It’s also important to not confuse pride with attention seeking—we are allowed to share our work and if we can do that for the sake of the work rather than the reaction of others, we are on the right track.  The human animal needs a certain level of pride in what they do to succeed—it’s an evolutionary thing to fuel us in what we do well and to direct us toward our purpose.  Those moments when we are too proud and seek control over others to satisfy our own whims is when it gets to a bad place.  But we need a healthy dose of pride to keep us focused and grounded—pride to fight for what we know is right and for what we know we have done well.

I think my comfort level with this quote is more around the concept that if we are satisfied with what we are doing, we are allowed to be content with that, and yes, even proud of it.  The point is that when we have that internal satisfaction, we tend to not focus on what other people think.  We can ignore someone else’s idea of what is enough because we are focused on the work for the sake of the work, not to gain someone’s approval.  Again, when we are proud of what we do and we find contentment in that purpose, we don’t seek validation from external sources.  My own battles with pride are my problem and I know some people might find it strange to be triggered by that word (of all things) meant to inspire us but I find that we need to reconcile that inner driver with what makes us happy so we have our focus aligned correctly.  The focus is the goal, the work itself, the things that make us happy—not if other people accept that we are happy or living up to their expectations.  We are more than capable of finding peace and contentment when we are satisfied with what we are doing and that’s exactly what we need to do.