I heard a segment from an interview Bill Murray gave to Joe Rogan discussing a book written about the death of John Belushi and he talked about how the entire story changes when we talk to the periphery of people involved in a situation.  He noted how important it is to speak to the people actually involved in it, those in the room where it’s happening, and how easily people can be manipulated into believing what they are fed.  He equated these stories to framing Nixon—like who we listen to, who we believe creates the narrative and if someone could tell these stories about his friend, people barely involved, then it’s possible that the story of what we believed for decades may not be right either.  We have to see all sides of the story and sometimes we have to do a little research to understand it.  Most importantly is that we can’t take anything at face value because what’s shared is always off of someone else’s experience or perspective.

In that regard, I think one of the most important messages here is we have to remember that we always know the truth.  People can tell whatever story they want and that doesn’t make it true.  If we know what happened, if we were there, then the opinion of those not even present really doesn’t matter.   Sure, we can worry about perception and implications of what people think—but all that goes away.  There will come a time when all of us are forgotten.  Granted with social media and the internet, our mark may be a bit longer lasting than it used to be because we felt the need to document everything for posterity so to speak.  But most of us will be forgotten.  Death is the great equalizer and the stories get faded and diluted over time, like some decades or even centuries long game of telephone where someone started it with “I like cheese” and suddenly we’re hearing “France makes fancy bees.” 

Now, that isn’t to say that what wo do doesn’t matter and it isn’t to say that what people say about us can’t be detrimental.  The key is discernment and knowing what to take to heart versus what to roll off our backs.  Choosing the battels so to speak, because the game can quickly turn into wasting our precious time correcting the story to people who really didn’t matter in the first place.  We need to keep an eye out for those moments that don’t sit right and make the choice whether or not to correct it or adjust or just let it be.  I’ve shared before how much it bothered me what was said about me in high school.  On the surface that seems trivial and I know it won’t matter—I’m not even sure other people would have saved that documentation.  What bothered me the most is that the level of effort I put into that work was completely demeaned and that interpretation is what was left for people to see.  It is bothersome—but it also doesn’t matter.  The world will change and shift again in 100 years and everything as it stands today will seem silly just as it does when we look back now.  So all we can do is live the life we love in the moment and do the best we can—it all gets interpreted or forgotten anyway so learn to love those fancy bees.