If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.  It’s important to know the difference.  We can never truly change someone—we can only ever change ourselves.  That isn’t to say that we don’t naturally shift when we are in proximity to one another.  We can soften or sharpen our edges depending on who we surround ourselves with—but the point is we change.  We all know those people who stubbornly persist in being who they are no matter what’s happening, those who refuse to acknowledge when they are outright in the wrong, those who believe they can do no wrong—the ones who believe, proverbially, their shit doesn’t stink.  Those relationships are nearly impossible to navigate.  Someone always ends up losing and it is often the person trying to adapt.  Part of maturing, part of life is understanding when we can’t do anything about where we are at—so we need to change where we are at.  There are times it’s simply a matter of need for change, it isn’t personal.  And other times it’s a matter of understanding the people around us aren’t conducive to our growth any longer.

This is in the same vein as talking about the value of our effort on Saturday.  Is it really worth it to try and fight people as they are, to try and change them?  Most of the time people will resist and run from that anyway—we can all feel when someone is manipulating us into something we aren’t or into doing something we don’t want to do.  So the choice becomes clear: we can either put up with it or we can move on and spend our energy better elsewhere. Truth be told that has nothing to do with difficulty of the task, it’s more about knowing when the effort simply will not pay off, when we won’t be able to make a change anyway.  I’m fortunate enough to understand that I needed to change my environment at my 9-5.  For a long time it felt like a contentious environment—and it was.  But over time we navigated through a lot of that and we got beyond the point of frustration with each other.  We even formed a real bond.  But I still knew that the work and the environment wasn’t getting me where I wanted to be.  The projects I wanted to work on, even at the 9-5, weren’t allowed to take off. My focus was everywhere but where I wanted it to be.   So an opportunity for something more conducive to what I want to do long term arrived and I took it.

This isn’t to say it was an easy change.  As I said, the dynamic in relationships changes and it isn’t necessarily animosity or anger that make us need to change our environment. Sometimes we simply outgrow each other.  Or we see we need someone to sharpen those edges instead of soften them or vice versa.  So while it isn’t easy, I will say that taking a page from my own book and making the leap into something new has paid off.  I have moments of confusion (we’ll talk about that this week) and even discomfort, but I know that the change is for the best.  No one could make me do that, no one could bring about that type of change in my life.  I needed to be open to it and ready for it and I had to see where the benefit for redirecting my energy would fall.  But when things come to us, sometimes we simply have to take the leap, take the chance, and go for it while it’s there.  I know I’ve turned down many opportunities to change because I thought it wasn’t the right time or that it wasn’t really meant for me.  This time even had a little of that as well—I wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit or work.  But I’m learning that sometimes those leaps don’t feel right at first—we just need time to adapt.  So I’m not only changing the people around me, I’m changing myself as well.  Here’s to new adventures.