It’s just a timeframe we’re dealing with, we’re not going to be her forever.  We all know time is fleeting and it somehow moves at an inverse.  When we have fun, time speeds by.  When we are working on something less pleasant, minutes feel like hours.  There’s a saying that often plays in my mind which is the days are long but the years are short (I’ve done a piece on that) and it is so true.  We need to make the most of the time we have here and learn to enjoy it, learn to accomplish, learn to go for what we want while we’re here.  We are the only thing stopping ourselves.  Case in point my newest venture.  Yes I’m still with the same company for my 9-5 but I have a new role and this transition has now opened up an entire new way of life.  It’s like wearing a new shirt after losing weight—we’ve worn shirts our entire lives but when we have a new size, it doesn’t feel quite the same and we have to learn how to operate in our new skin.  I want to see the beauty in all I do, I want to remember the beauty of life every day.

I’ve asked and hoped to see the beauty in life every day for years now.  I’ve felt rushed through everything I’ve done, like I can’t enjoy something unless there is absolutely nothing left on the list to do.  I had strong beliefs that certain things were done at certain times—like my writing early in the morning, available for work during specific hours, sleep at specific times of the day.  And, yes, there is a degree of that necessary in all we do.  But I can’t let the clock determine when things happen, not as I move into a more creative and open flow of life.  I have to learn to let things happen as they happen, do it when it comes.  With how short our time is, it seems silly to dictate the wonder we feel be designated for certain times of our lives.  Like we are only allowed to celebrate milestones or special moments instead of sitting at our desks and marveling at the sun, or the fact we are breathing.  Life doesn’t operate on a clock, we do.  If we are given the opportunity to do something we want to right now, then take it.  The chance is there for a reason.

I know one of my biggest fears is waking up regretting all the things I didn’t do.  The logical side of me knows that this is a very human thing and we all fear that we haven’t done enough.  The irrational side of me wants to find a way to do it all—absolutely everything.  Then there is a middle ground that understands the fear of not doing things is what my soul is telling me I need to focus on.  We all have obligations and responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to also prioritize what we want.  That we can’t get what we want in a different way.  I’ve done a TON of stuff, I do things every day so I know I’m active, I know I’ve left a mark on some people—some positive, some not so great.  So the real fear isn’t not doing something, it’s not doing something I really want to do.  We aren’t going to be here forever so the secret is to realize that forever is now.  We live one, long, continuous day, the time is unbroken.  We can do what we want with it.  Use that imagination, feel the depths of the wishes in our hearts and don’t let the chance to live the life you want pass you by.  The discomfort of finding a new way and letting go will fade away and soon an entirely new path is open to us.  Walk it, take it, go do what it is we want to do.