Don’t let the past be a burden to the present.  Always be honest, because honest is how we create change.  I heard this and I don’t remember from who, but it resonated.  The way we frame the past is what makes it a gift or a burden.  We can see it as a series of lessons that directed us where to go or we can see it as an anchor. We can pretend we had no say in where we have ended up, that it was a series of mishaps and unfortunate events that brought us to wherever we are, or we can admit that we made choices that didn’t always work out.  And it’s ok to admit that something didn’t work.  It’s ok to admit something that DID work isn’t working any longer.  It’s ok to admit that something we purposefully worked for isn’t what we want any longer.  I spent a whole lot of time trying to make things how they sued to be, to bring people back to how we used to do it because I wanted to recapture a feeling, an essence of a time gone by.  It never occurred to me that there were different feelings in some of those experiences—just because it brought me joy didn’t mean that it was joyful to them.  I had to learn to be honest about what certain events meant and what it meant for me moving forward.  I had to get honest about the need for change.

I’ve seen so many ways the past becomes burdensome: when we use it as a way to justify not doing what we want to do (because something happened a certain way we can’t do what we want to do).  When we try to repeat it over and over again never allowing life to unfold and adapt as it’s meant to.  When we constantly try to shift other people’s perspectives of an experience/when we try to change their experience of it.  When we specifically try to change other people’s beliefs about us and what happened.  When we try to prove that what we did was the right thing either in cases where we want it to seem like we made the right choice, or when we keep trying to make something that doesn’t work, work.  One of the heaviest burdens of the past can be when something DOES work and we have to admit that we don’t feel the same way about it anymore.  We’ve invested so much time with something/someone and we may have even fought like hell to get it and when we see it worked but it brings no joy, guilt can take over.  It can feel selfish to shift direction on something that works, something that anyone else would want and decide we don’t want it any longer.  That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  

We have to see when we use the past as a shield, as something to hide behind and we have to know when we need to step out from behind it and let the world see us as we are.  All of the ways we make the past burdensome I listed above are shields in a way.  No matter the reason, continuing on a path that doesn’t work creates unnecessary strain in our lives.  It drains our ability to be present and adapt as needed.  We miss the creative opportunities to develop something new, to try something new, to find new ways of doing things or even to find what really calls to us if we continue to say no to what we feel.  The only way we can focus on the change we want/need or even to find the ways we need to change is to be honest about where we are at, what works, and how we feel about it—and then decide where we want to go with it.  The past isn’t meant to be carried around like some bag filled with every event that ever was.  That’s a lot to sort through even on a good day.  No, the past is meant to be filled with moments that stand out, both good and bad, that guides us to the purpose/future we are meant to have. We have to stop every now and then and take a few things out, realizing that they served their purpose and now they’re just adding weight to us.  Let it go.  It’s ok to put the bag down and pick up again when we’ve removed what is no longer necessary.  Trust ourselves and keep moving forward.