I’ve struggled with relationships lately, not understanding how people can be so quick to exclude others when it was one central person who brought them together in the first place.  Not understanding how everyone can be so casual about like being together and then feeling close enough that we’re saying, “I love you,” and then turn around and not invite you out to something.  Or how we think there may be a casual introduction amongst friends when suddenly the group is now getting together without you. But as the universe has shown me time and time again, there was a lesson there.  I fully admit I get protective and possessive over my relationships—I value people close to me in my life and I am sensitive to their feelings toward me.  If we seem close, I treat people a certain way.  I have an expectation that my presence would be valued as much as I value theirs.  But I learned that looks different for some people.

One of my friends, and I do consider this person a friend, is extremely powerful with her energy.  She is a force, magnetic, and she knows how to make things happen in her life.  I value being around her because she has this amazing energy and we have a lot in common as far as drive—she has just shown me that putting that drive into action and achieving those goals is possible, a reminder on taking action in my life.  So after a summer/fall/winter of dealing with being left out from some of my other friends during some of the hardest times of my life, I struggled with thoughts of what relationships meant and understanding how people function together.  No, we’re not in high school so the petty drama I felt about being left out didn’t feel appropriate, but at the same time, the feeling left out didn’t feel appropriate either.  That familiar sense of propriety over the group kicked in as I felt a certain ownership/entitlement to being included in the group.  And it hurt when I wasn’t included. 

So when this friend started using a friend of mine for a different service (through this mutual friend’s business) I was put a little on edge. When I found out the kids were invited to an event for one of my friends, I felt that familiar jealousy grip me.  But the same insecurity didn’t pop up—it made me think differently as far as the intent behind the relationship .  Shortly after that, I was with my friend and she explained something going on in her business and it turned into a mutual thing we enjoy so we planned to go out.  That’s when it hit me: relationships serve different purposes.  We can all mutually be connected (and many of us are connected in ways we don’t realize yet) but that doesn’t mean we serve the same purpose to each other.  I started thinking about the people in my life and how I have different relationships with them, even in my family.  So why should I feel that sense of propriety?  What really hit me is that why should I feel so disappointed or left out or fearful when I have different relationships with those around me anyway?

We all serve different purposes to different people at different times in our lives.  We all have a reason or a season with people and it isn’t for us to interfere with that in any way.  Our relationships are supposed to look different.  A real relationship doesn’t involve that kind of power dynamic.  It also doesn’t involve intentionally hurting others in order to assert a power dynamic or hurt someone else.  But it is often going to look different depending on the purpose.  We don’t have the right to interfere on the purpose of a relationship because it looks different than ours.  People can create a mazing things and we don’t want to get in the way of that-I don’t want to get in the way of that.  We need to let it be.  Let it be what it is and see what amazing things come of it.