“Emotional intelligence and maturity determine capacity,” Zebth3rd.  This goes beyond mindset—this is reflective of what our mindset is, what we are born with, what we are able to shape it into, our understanding of our purpose/place in the world, what we want our world to look like, and how we interact with people and our environment.  That’s a lot to pack in and garner from a little quote.  I’ve spoken often about how our experiences determine what options are available to us.  That is a law of nature, we are only aware of what we are aware of and if we don’t know something exists, then we don’t know that it is a possibility.  It is also a law of nature that how we feel about something will lead to what we are aware of.  If we shut ourselves off because we feel a way we don’t want to feel, then those options are no longer available o us and we lose the ability that would come with those possibilities.  If we are open and excited about something, we see different options than someone who is closed minded to a concept.  It can be said that our understanding is limited by how we feel about something.  I may not enjoy working within a specific time frame, the fact that my mornings are limited which means my creativity is limited—well, the creativity I want to use on things I want to do is limited-but I still choose to honor the obligation I have picked up to my 9-5.  I don’t have to do that.  Granted there would be repercussions I don’t want (cause and effect as well as responsibility to other people) but the choice is always there that I can address the other things I want to do.

I often think what that would feel like, letting go of what I don’t want to fully embrace the life I do want, the life I envision.  Right now I struggle with following through on that because I have a young son and a household that relies on the income I get.  Yes, I can change that source of income, but it would alter how we live in for the time being.  My emotional intelligence tells me that there is something more in line with what I want to do but my maturity is telling me that I have responsibilities that my emotions won’t cover at this time.  At some point this life will tip in the other direction and I will be able to spend the time I want on these creative pursuits as a full time gig and that will support my family in the way I really want it to, the way in envision it.  I’m emotionally intelligent enough to be aware of what I really want and the need to start making shifts in that direction, but I am mature enough to know that those things aren’t enough to cover what is needed right now.  The transition isn’t as easy as acting on a whim.  Now, let’s examine the other implication in maturity, capacity, and emotional intelligence: when we are fully aware of the consequences and the required responsibility to live the life we want, we become more aware of the skills that need to be developed.  If we fall apart at the slightest inconvenience, we will never have the capacity to create what we desire.  I lived that life, thoroughly diving into the victim role/mentality.  I never thought I was playing a part, I thought everything happened TO me.  I had to learn to make other choices and establish different boundaries, behaviors, and responses.  My choices weren’t forced upon me by someone else: I could always choose which feelings determined my course of action, and it didn’t have to be victimhood. 

Creation takes commitment and a thick skin.  We can’t take full responsibility for a life we don’t fully understand or commit to.  I stand by what I have said many times before that our emotions are a guidepost—that is true.  The way we feel can help guide us toward how we want to feel.  if we know something is wrong or off, we make a different decision more in line with what feels right.  But those emotions can’t be the thing that makes our choice.  Emotions can be fleeting and impulsive, not based on truth.  How we handle emotions and what we decide determines what is available to us and what we can handle.  The more we handle our emotional state, the more tools we have to make better decisions and the easier it is to carry the load of the choices we make.  We understand what is and isn’t ours, what we are responsible for, and what our options are.  Creation takes awareness of the bigger picture and when we operate in the bubble of emotion, we are only looking at the impact to ourselves.  We need a greater capacity to take on the bigger goals in our lives and that means handling our emotions intelligently.  Sure, we need to feel what we feel, I actually agree with that because if we repress those feelings, we end up making decisions we wouldn’t normally make.  But we need to understand the emotions aren’t permanent.  They are tools to help us develop.  Commit to learning how to use those tools and understand them so we aren’t run by them.  Those skills develop an arsenal of sorts and we become exponentially more capable of what we want to do, making better choices, and taking responsibility for them.