Today I am grateful for confusion.  Ok, stick with me on this one.  Clarity is always the goal but we can’t always know all the answers.  Sometimes we have to take a shot and wing it.  Sometimes we go on gut instinct and we don’t always get it right.  I don’t truthfully like being confused, but I have finally discovered/admitted that there is a purpose for it.  So when we are confused it’s usually because we are trying to decide between multiple options/alternatives.  I want to express gratitude for the confusion because that means there ARE multiple options/alternatives.  Having options is a powerful thing.  And that means the universe is allowing us to make the choice.  Sure, it means that some things may not be available to us, but we have the ability to make that choice—and both options are fine.  There is no right and wrong.  See, that is what causes the confusion—the assignment of right and wrong to something.  I say again—there is no right and wrong, not when it comes to a life path.  I am also grateful for confusion because it helps me develop my skills in narrowing down possibilities and focusing in on what’s really important.  I mean, I used to love the idea of being a marine biologist, I was obsessed with it for years.  And then I realized something: I’m not really the strongest swimmer, most of what is in the ocean can eat me, and frankly I don’t like the smell of fish.  I just wanted to find a way to play with dolphins for a while.  Sure, switching paths was confusing at first because I’d attached so much of what I wanted to do to this marine biology idea—but that confusion helped me narrow down a bit more of what I liked and didn’t like and I understood that it wasn’t the career for me.  Similar events are happening now and I am confused about which way to go—but I can peel back the layers and see what is really important.

Today I am grateful for knowing the difference.  What difference you ask?  The fact that there is a difference between what feels right for us and what doesn’t.  For knowing when things that worked, no longer are. For knowing when things click and we are on the right path.  For knowing genuine interest and care versus an excuse waiting for their turn to talk.  For knowing when my real value is seen and when it isn’t—and for no longer tolerating when it isn’t.  For knowing when to keep quiet and when to speak up.  For knowing real love/care versus something fleeting….or mistaken for love.  For knowing when things just click and when they are forced.  For knowing my limits and when I’m trying too hard or pushing too hard.  For accepting where I am, not settling—there are things to enjoy (lots of them) that I appreciate about being here and with what I am doing with my life and there is more to do.  Now being on the right track, things fall into place easier.     

Today I am grateful for inclusion.  What I thought was inclusion before has revealed itself to be tolerance as long as I was giving in and doing that they other person wanted.  That is not only conditional, it’s manipulative.  It feels entirely different when your presence is wanted versus tolerated or only as needed.  There are parts of ourselves that we will only find if we say yes—yes to new people and experiences.  Similarly there are parts of ourselves that we will only find if we say no.  Sometimes we have to say no to the patterns we had, the responses we had to people, the emotional reaction toward behavior and we simply need to shift our behavior.  We need to not repeat patterns in order to establish better boundaries and a clear direction for ourselves. Frankly, the boundaries are to demonstrate respect for ourselves as well.  I will talk about the idea of adding more of what we love to our reality later in the week and I am understanding how important it is to say yes to what we love.  If we reject what we love and what feels right for us, we are telling the universe to give us something else….so why would we say no to what we want? And why would we say yes to what we don’t want?  So when it comes to inclusion we need to remember to make space and create inclusion for the things we love…and we need to go where we are included and we need to include what we love. 

Today I am grateful for ease.  I’m not talking about things being easy. I’m talking about approaching things with ease.  Like I said above, if it’s something we want in our lives, there is no need to be coy or say no or believe we have to earn it.  If we have tasks to do, it’s far easier to simply begin than it is to sulk about it and delay what can be done in a few short minutes—get rid of the emotion behind it and simply complete the task.  It’s easier to allow than it is to attempt to control every outcome every time.  I am grateful for ease because it has allowed me to appreciate and honor the work I’ve done.  There is no need to earn what my mind and body needs in the moment nor is there any need to earn the feeling of contentment and satisfaction from doing something we are (I am) proud of—no need to constantly prove that we are worthy of what we want.  Ease and allowing, not so much about temptation, but rather simultaneously accepting what we want in our lives with what IS in our lives.  Allow, accept, create, have fun.  Let whatever it is, be, let it come, and if the feeling is that we want it, simply say Yes. That’s all we have to do. The world will show us what we give it and I’m tired of requesting an uphill battle because I don’t feel worthy on some subconscious level.  It’s far easier to accept that we are inherently worthy than it is to unnecessarily create a challenge for ourselves. I’m thoroughly enjoying ease. 

Today I am grateful for life.  I’ve been doing a lot of planning lately.  Like really asking what I want in my life and what I want to allow and it has taken some moments of rage, love, exhaustion, excitement, a few cracks along the way and a rebuilding/reframing of a lot of things in my life.  And I am grateful for it.  The truth is we really don’t need a lot to survive in this world—we truly need very little. But when it comes to making a rich life (not a life filled with riches) it’s about the experiences we create.  We can’t life the same day over and over again and call it living.  We need variation, we need to try new things.  We need to remember simplicity and the joy of the occasional last minute yes.  We don’t need to stress over what we can’t control.  We need to embrace and move on because life is always moving.  There is always this long now and suddenly today becomes yesterday and then years have passed.  So we need to be incredibly aware and grateful of every moment that we are gifted whether it’s sitting in a home office with a cat curled on our laps while we type or saying yes to an impromptu dinner and game night with friends.  Sometimes life throws us some unexpected surprises and I’ve gotten caught in the spokes of those wheels quite often, wishing things were different.  But I’ve seen people change and fall apart and I’ve seen people able to walk away from that—and I’ve seen some who tried to make things be the way they were.  The ones who walked away fared much better than those stuck trying to bring back something that was past its time.  As we all know, life doesn’t always work out how we want it—but we need to remember that all of those facets, light and dark, ae all part of our lives and changing any one of them can change us.  Is it worth giving up the good to erase one part of the bad? I think most of us would say no.  I agree, so I am grateful for every second.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.