My experience with the song I spoke about yesterday has me fixated on that type of expression—the raw completeness of it.  It got me thinking about music in general.  Most humans have a deep connection and appreciation for music because of its ability to move, evoke, and express emotion.  Sound alone creates healing and as far back as we can see, humans have utilized sound for just that reason as well as for celebration, notification, inspiration, and for sheer fun.  I’ve always loved music intensely.  From the time I was a kid, I used to sing.  On the nights I would go with my parents to play cards, my dad would often bring his guitar and I remember singing along with everything he and my uncle would play—I almost couldn’t stop myself.  Days I would go to work with my dad we would always sing in the car—perhaps not well, but I was always compelled to sing.  My mother and I would dance more than we would sing but that same level of compulsion to move the body was there.  I remember at any wedding we would go to I’d end up dancing with my mom because she loved it so much and I loved it too.  I’d actually dance with my grandmother too and she used to sing in church all the time.

I shared my gratitude for music this past weekend for its ability to say what I haven’t always been able to say.  There is a very real emotional and spiritual connection to music.  Tell me you’ve never been absolutely moved by something you’ve heard, something that stopped you in your tracks, something that clicked and connected to a feeling you’ve had or wanted to have.  Music truly is the highest form of expression as it is nearly universally understood.  Perhaps sound in general.  It falls right into what we’ve always talked about with frequency and vibration.  Tesla’s understanding of the numeric equivalents with sound, and how we’ve developed our understanding of the harmonics, tones, undertones, melodies, and timing of it.  Sound isn’t just noise—it is language.  Ancient humans understood this and it’s why we still use sound to calm ourselves, our children, and even animals respond.  Think of the soundtrack to any movie and imagine the scenes played out without that music.  Would you feel the same way? Would it have the same meaning?

The point of what I shared yesterday was the desire for that level of expression.  The need to be able to share exactly what I was feeling rather than dance around it or hint at it—but to outright say it exactly as it is.  To share the desire for desire itself and no shame in that feeling.  We have a shared humanity and there are things we all feel deeply.  There is no need to beat around the bush about it.  We have lived in a world of symbolism, allegory, metaphor, imagery, and imagination—and there is NOTHING wrong with that.  That, too, is the magic of human creativity.  But what we need more of now is an understanding that the direct expression of the real emotion we have is just as beautiful.  We don’t need to make it sound a certain way—we just have to talk about it as it is—we let it be what it is.  I’ve twisted and manipulated my words to make them sound a certain way because I thought I had to imply rather than show.  I was a fan of the classics and thought it was, I don’t know, classier to suggest a theme than be blunt. 

I think I wanted to dive deeper into this because I’m working on changing this facet of my personality—I want to be more direct with people.  Not in a mean way, but in a clear way that fosters more connection.  The dancing around and hinting at things that were important for me to convey isn’t working and as I’m getting older, I see more and more how important connection really is.  My intent is often lost in translation so to speak.  If we want to be understood we need to express clearly.  Words are so important to me and I have the ability to use them to say whatever I want on the page—I do not take that for granted.  There is no need to be shy or discreet about it because that only confuses the message.  Don’t dilute what we have to say to make it acceptable to others.  That isn’t the point of creative expression.  The point is to share what we have.  Change isn’t easy.  It’s taken me nearly a lifetime to develop the courage to start sharing as I have, a further several years to make this writing a consistent habit, another year to make it a scheduled practice, and now I want to refine it so I’m saying and living in truth rather than implying it.  We can change with focus and effort.  We can learn a new language.  We can learn to be healthier.  We can learn anything as long as we are completely raw and receptive to it.  One step, one thought, one song can change everything—we just have to let it.