We have watched a particular family on YouTube for years.  We started watching when the son was around 6 or 7 and he’s 10 now but we have gone back and watched their videos since he was 18 months.  We’ve seen this family grow and evolve and move to a new home.  They’ve shared their vacations and fun experiences together as well as birthdays and holidays—we’ve seen quite a bit of their lives.  They always share their Christmas and this past holiday, they spent it on Maui.  That simple change of venue brought up some uncomfortable feelings for me, a continued realization of the fact we can’t always cling to tradition and sometimes we need to do things differently.  Sometimes we have to try something new to find out what works.  What works changes over time and we need to have the experience to find out.  But seeing the location change from what we’ve watched over the years was definitely odd and sparked something in me, reminding me how our own traditions have changed over the years. We’ve gone from huge family celebrations with a tight schedule to much smaller groups on different days.  We are missing more people now and it feels a bit more empty.  The love is still there, we just look different.

The truth is things looking different isn’t a bad thing—that’s how life works.  Traditions are mired in what we know, and if we hold onto what we know too tightly, we never learn what can be.  As I watched this family celebrate in Hawaii, so far from where they normally spend their holiday, but the whole family together, I actually remember a few things: The first is that it was really weird to be in Hawaii near Christmas.  I took my husband there when he turned 23 so it was right before the holiday and it was so odd to have all of the Christmas sprit but none of the Christmas feel.  Watching this family on TV, I always loved how they celebrated Christmas at their home because they did it SO big and I wanted to do the same for my son. Seeing a similar version of the celebration that wasn’t quite it felt off but also hopeful.  Even thought it wasn’t the same, they were all still together and it looked like the family had an amazing time—they were with those they love and all the things they normally did were done together even if it did look different.  That made me remember my own Christmases, all the family there and how that family has dwindled now, but like I said, even if we are smaller, the love is still there.       

Even if it’s a bit melancholy, that episode was a clear reminder of the mindset I’ve been on as we navigate our own changes—we need change and we need to embrace it.  Change can open up an entire world of opportunity.  There is beauty in what we’ve done and what we have built, but we grow from it.  We don’t try to make it be the same.  The end of 2024 showed us very clearly that relationships change and we need to evolve with them.  Things do not react well when they are kept caged for too long, and we need to accept ourselves, other people, and our circumstances for what they are.  Then we can do our best to adapt and make them what they are meant to be. We are in 2025 and those kids are so grown up now and things aren’t the same…we aren’t the same.  I used to get really sad about that, and moments like cleaning out those clothes and then seeing kids grow up would send me into a spiral.  I guess I kind of am in a spiral but it feels different—I’m not trying to stop it.  I welcome those changes and I welcome the now.  I am grateful for the now as much as I am grateful for the past.  Things are right on track—we are right where we are meant to be.  What a gift.