Deciding what relationships to keep whether they are partners, friends, work is the biggest challenge.  See, even if I’m cynical and realist for other people, I always hold out hope for the best in someone.  I see their potential and I hope they realize it and want to be that.  I have hope that the best will always come through.  The problem is I’ve been waiting on hope for the best and that potential for over 20 years in some cases.  I didn’t want to let go because of the time invested and the belief that, if we hold on for a bit longer, things will turn out how I see them, they will see it how I do.  At what point do we realize we have no control, and even if our intention and belief is good, if the person doesn’t want to be that version of themselves, then we need to let it go? It’s hard because there are good pieces in the things that cause us stress: jobs keep roofs over our heads, food in our stomachs, and clothes on our backs.  We have to understand that the hope isn’t always enough for things to change, that somehow everything works out how we want it to, that we are right and the things we want and how we want them to go them were right.  And as much as we love people, we can never make them be who we want and if we know they aren’t right for us, if the situation isn’t right for us, then we need to let it go.

The trouble is we fear letting go as we are so trained to focus on the absence of things.  Saying goodbye doesn’t have to be forever, but we have to know that sometimes it’s still necessary to say goodbye.  When nothing is going to change, and this isn’t about right or wrong or who has power, but when we simply know that something isn’t going to work out or change and we know it needs to change, then we have to make the choice to leave it behind, to let it fall.  We have to understand our limit and know that we aren’t always meant to be the one holding things together.  There is always the possibility that once something falls it’s irreparably damaged and it will never be the same again.  But there is also always the possibility that when something breaks it will reveal a gem inside.  Sometimes we have to be broken open in order to see what we are really made of.  We have to break the outer shell to let who we are meant to be shine.  It’s terrifying to break our heart and risk our peace of mind and all we have accomplished, but here’s the truth: the universe always plays out how it is meant to so if it breaks beyond repair, let it go.  If it shows us who we are, that’s all we need to know to move on.  Be grateful either way, and allow the heart to repair.  We are resilient, and we will heal.  We will find what we need to move on.