Today I am grateful for improvement in communication.  It always amazes me the misunderstandings that happen between people.  Whether it was via text, email, forums, comments, at meetings, ordering food, speaking on the phone or via zoom/Webex/Teams/whatever.  I’ve truly always understood that different experiences lead to different perceptions but it amazes me that for creatures with such advanced methods of communicating, we have equally advanced methods of misunderstanding—or even intentionally misunderstanding.  When we clear those personal blocks and start looking to really understand each other, those blocks start to go away.  Some of us are so stubbornly persistent in protecting our view or proving our point that we lose the opportunity to find a solution, a mutual resolution.  Sometimes we work too hard to find a middle ground and lose our idea in the process.  When we take the time to listen and work through our desire to prove, we learn to find a way to compromise the idea without compromising our values.  Any improvement in communication gives us confidence to further articulate our point while acknowledging others’ opinions and experiences-which are infinite. Improved communication means improved relationships.

Today I am grateful for steps in moving on/forward.  We can never predict the course of a relationship with people.  As I work on a large personal project, I’m seeing that relationships become more and more clear.  The boundaries, the beliefs/ideas, the feelings (including the respect people have for each other) are not things we can hide.  That includes the expectations we have of each other.  Relationships are complicated enough that we don’t need to muddy the water further by making people adhere to our standards.  But when we see there is no longer a match or common ground, it is time to cut loose.  Especially if values differ.  It’s always been challenging for me to move on from anything—I always want to make sure I see it through to the very end, that I’ve done everything I could before moving forward.  I like all the ends tied up neatly.  But sometimes, with communication, values, boundaries, beliefs, and ideas—when things are that different, sometimes we just need to know how to cut our losses and move forward.  Our job isn’t to change people and it isn’t to change ourselves so we fit in with people. It is to be who we are and find those that complement us so we can build something stronger.  If we aren’t in that position of complementary relationships and do not feel supported or feel that our support is valued, it’s time to move on.  Life moves easier when we don’t adhere to rigid expectations and simply accept and move forward.  So take the step.   

Today I am grateful for new experiences.  Another thing that amazes me is that we allow ourselves to get stuck in such engrained routines that we don’t even realize we are stuck.  We simply accept the inevitability that we “have to” do the same thing all the time.  Every now and then people come along and show us that we still have options.  Just when we think we are the most stuck and that we can’t move on, someone will show up and we see that there are other ways to do things, other things we need to do.  We need to stop taking ourselves and our routines so seriously that we build our lives by them.  I’m not saying not to have a healthy routine, but I am saying 1. Learn to recognize and prune what actually isn’t serving from our lives. 2. Be open to the idea that there may be something else that fits better. 3. Know the difference between being swayed to do something that doesn’t work and incorporating something that may change perspective enough to give us a new idea. 4. Recognize when something is at it’s end and we need to move on and 5. Know ourselves enough to understand when we need something new.  As a creature of routine, I can vouch it is difficult to think we need to change things up and do something different if what we are doing feels like it’s working—but we can’t get caught up in thinking it HAS to work because then we shift from organically allowing what needs to happen to happen to forcing our plans on the universe.  Allow the new experiences and see what they can teach us.  We don’t have to say yes to everything—but we also don’t have to say no. It’s about being open.

Today I am grateful for the reminder to not judge people on first appearances or the opinions of others.  I’ve struggled with several people close to me for various reasons.  One of them is friendly with a person who very clearly has/had issues with me to the point of making petty comments about my physical appearance.  I follow the rule that we don’t make comments about or to someone for something they can’t change within 30 seconds and this latter person had no shame in tearing into me—so I automatically cut out the people who associated with her.  I’d also heard some not so positive things from other friends as well.  The trouble was my son enjoyed time with her son so they started coming around more. I’d get home from work and they would be here and it felt like my feelings (which were based in fact about the former person but transferred onto the latter) were completely disregarded.  As time went on, I got angry and frustrated.  But I’ve started to see a different side.  I was 1000000% hesitant to even want to talk to this person because I didn’t want them to get back to the other person and I personally feel that I’m too old to try and make it work with people who disrespect me—even by proxy.  Regardless,  the relationship started to develop between some other people in the group as the kid group started to expand.  And, as with anything, the more time spent together, even on the fringes, we started to learn more about each other, and as we learn about each other, naturally we understand and things make more sense.  It was a nice reminder to actually take the time to get to know someone and to know the difference between a gut instinct, jealousy, fear, and influence from others.     

Today I am grateful for standing my ground.  This has been a tough lesson at times in the past week because I’ve had to step out of my comfort zone more than I’m used to.  As my projects expand and my work takes off, I need to bend and create a new routine with new priorities.  This means letting go of things that used to fit and what I used to prioritize.  I have to stand my ground and do what works in this new realm even if the picture isn’t totally clear yet.  I have to accept that what was, no longer serves for what is coming.  It’s a reminder of what I’ve shared for years—that we stand in our comfort zone for so many reasons but when we are comfortable we don’t expand.  And when the new evolution of who we are demands we expand, we have to do something new.  And we have to defend that and have enough faith and confidence in ourselves to see it through.  Take the chance, learn the new environment and people around us, and stick with the vision we see no matter what.  That is when the doors start to open. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.