“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it,” Albert Einstein.  I grew up with the idea that I couldn’t take from people unless I could give back to them.  It’s part of why I decided that I needed to do everything on my own.  I couldn’t take the pressure, the weight of having to repay everything.  I grew up thinking that relationships were a debt, that you always needed to make sure you were holding up your end and then some so people couldn’t say that you’ve used them.  I can’t tell you how many times that mentality got me used.  It hurt putting myself out there so often, helping so many people, doing what I was told and performing to the utmost of my ability only to be left holding the bag or left alone when I needed help the most.  It left me feeling guilty when I had to accept help that I knew I couldn’t return. 

But as I’ve spent more time thinking about this mindset, I realize that this isn’t about debt. It’s about contribution.  Not everything in this world is a 1:1 match.  Just because someone does the brakes on my car doesn’t mean I will do the brakes on their car.  Just because they bought me a book doesn’t mean I have to buy them a book.  What we put back is supposed to come from us.  It’s supposed to come from what we feel, from our talents, from sharing our gifts. We aren’t meant to be copies of each other, tallying what we are owed.  We are meant to be in flow and give what we can.  That understanding flipped things for me.  IT takes the pressure off.  It reaffirms that we are enough as we are.  That our gifts are the reason we are here.  The way we share our energy is more important than the total on the bill. 

For those of us who were raised to take this literally, where we have to give back what we get, I want to encourage you to put that weight down.  You are enough.  You don’t owe more than who you are, you don’t owe what you can’t share.  You only owe the responsibility of sharing the completeness of who you are to everyone.  To be entirely who we are.  It is when we live in that fullness, the complete expression of who we are that we understand the limitless energy that flows in this world.  The exchange is less about dollar for dollar and more about energy and effort and matching frequency.  It’s the most powerful thing.  Just because we don’t have the ability to buy lunch for everyone today doesn’t mean that we can’t make them feel good in our presence.  It doesn’t mean that we can’t open up space for them in our hearts.  Somedays we will prepare the meal and other times we are opening the doors.  Other days we are the guest.  It’s an exchange not a debt and as long as we are always putting in our share, that is more than enough.