“Venting is a false premise. When you talk about your problems in order to vent them out of your body you’re simply mentally rehearsing those problems into your life more firmly, you’re anchoring your problems more deeply into your life.  The mental game, all of these high performing individuals, realize that what they say think and feel is essential to what shows up in their life.  We’ve been conditioned to focus on what holds us down.  We need to mentally rehearse the successful optimistic version you will actually bring about that successful life,” from upspiral.life.  This is a hard habit to break because it is so indoctrinated in our culture to look at the negative, to share the negative.  Mark Manson says that complaining is how weak people connect and that complaining is the junk food of social connection—where it feels good in the moment but it makes you weak and fragile in the long run.  He says when you stop complaining it makes space for all of the things that actually help the situation. 

We are taught that mutual misery is a real connection—and believe me I’ve experienced situations where mutual misery became a strong connection because we worked on how to get out of it together.  We learned to battle it together and we learned to change our circumstances together.  But when we play this game of whose day is worse than whose, we lose the opportunity to see what is good.  If we want to see the good we need to focus on the good—and if we want to attract the good we need to develop the skill of speaking what we want into existence.  It’s a hard habit to break.  Evolutionarily we are alive because we are trained to recognize what is wrong in any situation so we avoid danger or hurt.  But continually focusing on the negative and discussing all that is perceived as wrong in our lives will only perpetuate what is wrong.  See what we don’t talk about with evolution is the premise that we can uplevel and manage what comes through by managing our thoughts and what we speak.  Thoughts and words have power. 

We have the power to shift and create what is good.  We need to learn the difference between constructive evaluation of a day versus rehashing the negative into existence until it becomes a pattern.  We don’t need to vent—we feel powerless in the midst of a situation so we don’t react how we want to (we often don’t feel we are able to because of these false ideas of hierarchy and power) so we stuff it down and then we talk with others later about how we really feel and we experience the frustration all over again but it’s magnified because we realize that we didn’t align with how we really felt in the moment.  Not everything will go our way, or at least it won’t all go exactly as we plan it. That doesn’t mean it’s all crap or all for nothing.  When we rehash those moments, it’s important to take the opportunity to learn from them and try again.  Focus on the good, understand the power is in transforming our mindset to transform our reality.  Eliminating complaining and focus on the negative sets us up to win in the end because we are highlighting the possibilities and opportunities in every situation.  We can change our future one thought at a time.