“The definition of happiness is the full use of your powers along the lines of excellence,” John F. Kennedy.  Happiness is nothing we can receive from the outside as we have discussed numerous times.  When we rely on the external to define our happiness, we will never achieve it because the external is ephemeral, temporary, and always changing.  Not evolving or growing, but changing.  The outside shifts and suddenly we are left wanting and lost, waiting for the next thing.  When we stop seeking happiness and instead seek to utilize our gifts to the best of our ability, and to share those gifts, we learn that we weren’t necessarily seeking happiness all that time, but rather fulfillment.  Within fulfillment there is happiness.  There is no happiness in the chase because we can never slow down.  When we have a purpose and when we are able to align that purpose with who we are and able to develop it and then share it, there is no greater sense of being in this world.  We can live an entire lifetime and not experience anything because we allow others to define what we want, what we are supposed to be, and how we are supposed to feel/interact.  We need to seek the experiences—and it is often missing those experiences that leads to regret.

If we can look back at our lives and say that we did all we could with all we have and that we did the best we could, then there is no shame and nothing to regret.  Wasted time and space, time spent trying to fill our lives collecting things instead of collecting memories, trying to prove ourselves without developing who we are for the sake of our ego.  None of that will ever bring us satisfaction.  And the truth is even settling for being satisfied will still leave us wanting.  I also want to be clear that there is a difference between excellence and perfection.  Excellence is a standard where we put forth our focused energy to the best of our ability and we strive to improve for ourselves and others—we learn.  Excellence is layered and expansive.  Perfection is unattainable, and the definition can change at will without warning.  But we can shift the goal from perfection to excellence with a simple shift in mindset with one question: how many people am I able to benefit through being perfect versus striving for excellence?  How approachable is perfect?  The perfect things in this world are put on a pedestal and left unchanging whereas going for excellence allows us to see the best of ourselves for what we are and not for what we aren’t.  That isn’t to say we don’t need to grow, but we teach ourselves to grow where we thrive best.  We don’t blame the fish for not flying. 

In order to be happy, we need to accept and become the greatest version of ourselves, not the version we’d put behind a glass case.  Happiness implies doing, not looking a certain way.  Happiness also implies being with people who bring out the best in us, because happiness is also about feeling our best so we can do our best.  Don’t hold back when it comes to our lives, especially our dreams.  And if we are lucky enough to be given a specific passion or goal, then we need to pursue that at all costs.  The magic really comes when we approach a goal like that with complete focus and abandon.  When we do that we learn to tap into something that is uniquely ours, something that no one can take from us or change.  That happiness develops and emanates from the inside, from the core of our being.  No one can stop that, in fact, it’s contagious.  We can’t be afraid of failing at who we are.  We can’t hold ourselves back from who we are meant to be because we stifle the fire inside of us.  So let it out and allow the happiness to overflow.