“We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments,” Maslow.  The self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.  I’ve dealt with a subconscious fear of attaining a goal and then losing it my entire life.  Afraid that I was a fraud, that I’d somehow be “found out” and discovered that I couldn’t deliver on what I promised, that I couldn’t be who I said I wanted to be.  So I procrastinated and delayed even deciding who I wanted to be and I blamed others for making that choice for me.  I let ego get in the way for fear of what people may do and say about me and focused on controlling those opinions instead of on developing myself.  As soon as we shift that focus on the outside and our motivation becomes external, we are at the mercy of other’s whims.  We will never be able to fulfill someone else’s ever changing idea of who and what we are supposed to be.  We will never find our own ideal of who we are supposed to be, and we will certainly never be in touch with that authentic version if we are listening to every else’s voice but our own.

Being honest and going for a goal exposes us and makes us vulnerable to outside opinion and interpretation—but we can choose to not internalize that.  We can choose to not self-sabotage and allow the actualization of our greatest dreams.  We fear that actualization because we are afraid of losing what we know.  And, as we talked about yesterday, that comfort zone becomes suffocating if we allow it.  When we try new things, we expand that comfort zone and soon we become more familiar with the things that bring us closer to the greatest version of ourselves.  That isn’t to say that the greatest versions of ourselves don’t come with responsibility, but as we try new things and develop new perspectives, we learn that the definition of perfection changes over time—and we learn that perfection is irrelevant anyway.  When we do our best and we work to fulfill our purpose every day, that is enough.  When we apply our gifts and impact as many people as we can, we see that is a perfect moment.  Ironically our most perfect moments have nothing to do with being perfect—they have to do with being present and complete acceptance.  That automatically brings us to our best.      

The ego is a tricky thing, simultaneously what inspires our growth as well as what hinders us.  Without it we are unable to find our sense of self in the world and discover/unleash the gifts we can share with the world.  But it can go the other way and create the basis for our decisions in that we choose our actions based on what we think others will think—not on what we know or feel.  In that regard, when we feel that fear, that is when we hold ourselves back and tend to stick with what we know rather than expand.  And we are also afraid that we won’t be able to live up to that expectation, the image we have in our minds.  When we learn to relax, to harness that energy, and to be who we are, then we see that perfection isn’t about an image or a specific goal.  It’s about a feeling, a warmness, a welcomeness, a feeling of completeness where we are, as we are.  We don’t need to fear losing those moments either, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  As long as we are honest with ourselves and authentic in all ways, we are already achieving our highest self.  Let’s put aside the fear and allow the space for growth—and that encourages the rest of the world to be their best as well.  So let’s allow the space for us all to actualize and become a different version of who we are and the greatest version of who we are is suddenly here.  That is nothing to fear, and nothing we can ever lose.