“The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me,” Amy/Ayn Rand (found attributed to both).  In the funny way the universe works this quote popped in twice for me and I took that as a sign I needed to follow the insight as well as talk about it here.  I have a coloring book for stress management filled with positive affirmations.  The last time I colored in it was over a year ago and I remember leaving off on the picture stating “Start where you are.”  I felt like picking it up again last night to work on it.  The back of each piece has a quote and I noticed it said what I opened this piece with.  I loved it, I wrote it in my journal and I was thinking about working it in this week.  I woke up this morning and I pulled my cards and they talked about surrendering, trusting the universe, forgiveness, etc.  It got me thinking about where I’m at and what the next steps in my life look like.  What happens next.  I turned my calendar and today’s quote says the exact same thing as in the coloring book last night.  My jaw dropped and I got full body chills.  There is no way that wasn’t meant to be, for me, for me to share, in this exact moment.

So let’s dive into it.  I was definitively raised to do what I was told.  To ask permission.  To listen to the teacher.  To listen to the adults in the room.  Not that I didn’t rebel against it, but I always followed that rule on the major stuff—curfew, homework, going where I said I was going, asking before I did or joined anything.  Recent events at work and home have led me to believe that this may be something I need to work on.  I wrote a few weeks ago about taking a chance and going for something I wanted at work.  I haven’t heard anything about it so I feel like I lost a little steam in that regard.  My husband and I got into it and he brought up confidence in general.  My husband is confident no matter the situation—he believes he will be able to figure it out no matter what it is.  I have confidence to speak my mind and voice my opinion and step up for others but when I face resistance I tend to back down.  I revert to asking permission again.  This has been a point of contention for some time now in both my personal and professional life.  There comes a time when no matter what we need to stick with our gut.  It doesn’t matter if we’re 22 and starting out on our own, 16 trying out for a team or group, or 40 and changing careers.  I have a voice, I just need to use it consistently and believe it.

All of the things that have taken me furthest in life have been borne of taking a chance and stepping out of my comfort zone.  The rest has been formed with practice and dedication to a task.  But the things done with passion and zeal were always from a different place, deep in my gut.  I know in those moments I didn’t question anything—and I certainly didn’t ask for permission.  I figured it out.  No one has power over us—we are the only ones who allow it.  Even if it’s a thought festering in our minds from something someone said, that is our choice to replay it.  Our mind will hold us hostage if we let it.  We need to decide and once that decision is made we need to keep going.  There is no allowing in this world, it is only the perception that we need to be allowed to do something.  Once we find our purpose we need to go for it, it doesn’t matter what other people think and it doesn’t matter who thinks it.  We are responsible for our lives, for our happiness, for where we go.  The only person that can stop us is ourselves.  Even if it seems to be for a good reason, it is only us who says we can’t do something.  Taking that step can be terrifying but I’d rather be scared for a minute than feel regret for a lifetime.   

There’s this misconception that people who stand up for themselves are bold and brash and the loudest in the room.  Sometimes that is true but more often than not, this type of resolve is experienced in the quietness of our minds and the ability to follow through, articulate what we are doing, or in walking away from what doesn’t align or support who we are.  I don’t need to be loud to feel strong in who I am.  I also don’t need to be tested and pushed in my boundaries.  It’s ok to walk away from what doesn’t work.  It’s ok to decide to try something new.  It’s ok to make the right choice for ourselves no matter what.  We have one chance here and it makes sense to make the most of it for what feels right to us, not what someone else says is right for us.  What have we been waiting for?  What are we asking permission for?  Where can we put aside the weight of someone else’s opinion and simply be content to go after what lights us up?  No one can stop any of us from that.