I am an Aries, born to two Aries grandfathers.  One I knew, one I did not.  I am part of the one I did not know in that I am creative and entrepreneurial and driven and stubborn.  I am like the one I knew in that I am determined, I am hard working, and I love and accept people and want them to succeed.  I am both of them in that I have my limits—I will give chances until I can’t do it any longer.  I had no say in the matter, this is truly a part of who I am.  In relationships there is an acceptance of life—accepting friends as they are.  I am who I am.  We can’t change anyone.  We can’t fight anyone on their natural course, their path.  But when it comes to boundaries, we need to question if we are staying because we are familiar or if we are avoiding some other form of rejection.  I faced a lot of rejection as a child so I struggle to maintain boundaries because I want to be friends with people.  I am flimsy with them, wishy washy in decisions, always wanting the other person to make the choice first so they aren’t upset.  That is not the trait of an Aries person. Believe me when it comes to temper I am all fire and venom and rage.  It passes quickly but you will get burned if you get too close.  I love as fiercely.  And sometimes, even in love, if you get too close you get burned.  Even a fire sign can get burned if they stay too long in their own flame.

We don’t have much choice in the matter when it comes to how people are.  People are capable of changing depending on their goals and where their focus is, but they will never change for someone else.  We are responsible for our own happiness, our own reactions.  We are responsible for who we allow in our lives.  Relationships mean accepting the responsibility for allowing others to be who they are and not expecting them to be anything else.  We can’t expect people to be who they are not.  We can’t make them do what they do not want to do.  We can’t make them feel a certain way about us or agree with us on a specific topic.  If all of that aligns, then great.  But when we disagree we have to practice allowing.  We can’t turn people away if they aren’t 100% on par with us.  That isn’t how life works.  We must accept all of people.  It’s far easier to work with people if we understand and simply allow them to be.  If we allow ourselves the same grace.  I tried to make people be a certain way with me for a long time because I didn’t want to get hurt and I thought controlling how they behaved would control how they treated me.  But we have to surrender and allow that person to be who they are.  Just as we have to surrender and allow who we are.      

So in those moments when I don’t know where to go, when I am trying to run by standing still (like in yesterday’s piece), I feel that fire leeching out of me and I am hurting.  I am sensitive.  I am struggling to find the balance between ego, boundaries, flexibility, and giving.  Perhaps some of my boundaries are too stringent.  I protect my heart and I am sensitive to whether or not people accept me so I am quick to cut people off who make me feel a certain way.  I can tolerate some of what they do, but what is done to me, I put up a shield and it is virtually impenetrable.  What happens when a heart of fire turns cold?  It doesn’t know what to do—indecisiveness is also uncharacteristic of an Aries.  Indecisiveness will get the best of any sign but for those signs based in action,  it is particularly frustrating and draining.  There are times when we need to either move or we need to slow down.  The question of which depends on the situation.  When are we hurting through non-action and when is moving creating friction? I often wonder about where I come from because these genes, and this does come from someone.  I wonder how they would handle some of the same situations I have faced.  I wonder if they ever felt as I did.  As I walk their footsteps in so many ways, as I forge my own path, I feel less alone knowing these things came from somewhere, as unchangeable as other people are.  It’s inevitable.