This was on my calendar, not attributed to anyone: “Live fully in the season you are in. It is going to look different from others so quit comparing.  The lord has you here for a reason.  Spend your time asking him why instead of trying to get out of it.”  There are certain inevitabilities in life and no matter how much we fear them or try to avoid them, we aren’t able to get away from them.  We have to embrace the mindset of dealing with it as it comes and allowing.  We also need to be grateful for the time we have and learn to create presence, to be in presence wherever we go.  While the human mind is designed to protect and preserve, there is no sense in fearing the inevitable.  We need to be grateful for what we have.  I’ve watched two generations (and almost a third) of women in my family hold so tightly to grudges that it nearly destroyed them.  One died holding onto resentments so old that time itself forgot what happened. The other is currently wasting time coping with rage that won’t be satisfied.  I found myself on that path as well.  I still have anger over some events in the past but no matter how much I want to change it I can’t.  So I need to manage my present and be grateful NOW before this becomes another regret.

We miss opportunities hoping to change what happened and then we miss the present because we are trying to fix something that has passed.  I am all too well aware of how hard it is to let go of something you wish had gone a certain way, but I’ve lost too much time and I’ve seen people wasting time stuck on what happened to them.  Fine, a bad moment happened, an injustice, something genuinely fucked up—it happens to all of us.  I’m not saying ignore that hurt and pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, but I AM saying that we can’t stay stuck there.  We aren’t meant to stay buried beneath regret, sorrow, anger, frustration, victimhood, feeling weak.  We are meant to fulfill our purpose by recognizing, honoring, and acting on our destinies, on who we are.  That will always look different to everyone and we can never judge our success based on someone else’s story.  This isn’t even about being on different chapters-this is about being in different books.  We each have our own story to tell and if we concern ourselves so much with what other people are writing we will leave our pages blank.  Or if we fill our pages with the same thing over and over again we have a book with no story—it’s an event, a madness, a stuckness, repeated over and over.

The reality of this life is that we will never understand all that happens until we are able to gain enough time or perspective.  I know enough to understand that what we have is precious and we need to appreciate and live while we are here.  If we don’t know all the answers about what happens in the end (which we don’t), then all we can do is live here and now.  The point is to be here now.  Projecting fear on the future or staying stuck in anger about the past does nothing for the present but put the mind out of body.  I don’t want to put myself through the pain of lamenting a future loss that can’t be stopped when I have the opportunity to share in love and hope now.  Letting the present be taken over by that future sadness puts us through it twice and prevents us from enjoying what we have now—which sets us up for future regret about missing opportunities we have now.  I don’t want to compare myself to where others are now but I know I want to learn the lessons that came from those before me—and I don’t want to repeat those.  I am grateful for being here now and I will take every opportunity I can to live in this moment.  Living is a blessing and how we show appreciation for this life is to live it.